wow! spring!

[Bpyboy]

Hey guys, been busy lately, thought I might check in and see what's going on!

Unfortunatley, with wonderful spring weather, and tons of yard work, has come
an undeniable urge to drink! I did ok through the winter, but now with the
onset of summer, it's been on my mind a lot lately.

So, between TONS of yard work (my hedges were about 3 years over due for a
"haircut"), I built 2 ENORMOUS compost piles for my garden, started all my
seedling, did my neighbor's shrubs and worked up her garden (she's turning
80--could use a hand). ANYTHING to keep busy.

I am going to see if my sponsor can go for a cup of coffee after the meeting
tonight, and talk with him about this. I don't understand what the deal was,
it seemed to be "losing it's grip" over the months, but now with the changing
season and weather, it's "gripping" back again?

Perhaps someone knows some physiological/psychological reason for this? I
mean, my depression problems seem to have a seasonal component, so why not my
desire to drink? (i've been on a "high" for a couple weeks now--also seasonal,
ever since I was a kid).

Anyways, working out deals with all sorts of people-----and you guys are going
to love this one-----I traded my very nice bottler (an upright--from my brisk
little homebrewing biz that I was running in my dry county!), and a couple
cases of empty bottles, for 3 truckloads of rotted horse/goat/sheep manure for
my garden!

Then, since I frequent a local organic coffee shop, I made friends with
"Berkely Bob" and he hooked me up with 20 gallons of organic coffee grounds (on
the promise I'll deliver on the organic veggies in a couple weeks), (he's at
my meetings too--old school california hippy--and one hell of a banjo player!).
An old farmer down the road delivered another load of cow shit and straw
bedding, and a couple other neighbors delivered on the green grass clippings.

So I scrounged some huge sections of wire mesh and made 2 compost bins, layered
up the stuff like a "dagwood sandwich" (and blistered the hell out of my
hands--and my muscles are SCREAMING today) and even went as far as to install
aeration pipes.

This moring, the compost heap had already reached 120 degrees, and this
afternoon, 140! (alternate use for beer making thermometer and pH testing
equipment?)

So, this morning, while out enjoying the rather chilly sunrise and a cigarette
and cup of coffee, steam was PUMPING out of the aeration pipes!

Crazy, i think I truly found a new addiction! The produce guy at the grocery
store is going to save up bad veggies to compost, I have 10 strains of
tomatoes, 8 beans and 5 eggplants, and gourds, mellons......

So, I guess that's about it, on the things to do list 1) clean the house
(sister coming to visit for easter!)
2) talk with sponsor about this new and powerful desire to get a 6 pack
(haven't yet, but yesterday, I was DAMN tempted to)
3) baby the garden
4) In about a week, turn the compost heap--which has got to weigh somewhere in
the tons, now that it's properly watered.

talk later
John

and for inspiration---read a book called "let it rot" about composting!
fascinating subject, much to my suprise! It was written by stu campbell, and
it's THE work on the subject.

[rosie]

wow john, you seem to have all the energy that i lack!

that SPRING drinking thing, is really quite
common........................doesn't make sense, but its common
none the less.

SPRING-CHANGE-REBIRTH..................lets have a
drink.......................

i here your story told around the tables in the spring all the time.
the next trigger that is a common one around here is mowing the
lawn...................
at least for the first couple times in the season...................

glad to read that you are meeting with your sponsor, that is
terrific, and what i call TAKING ACTION!

--
rosie

http://airamericaradio.com/www/pub/globalDefault.htm
AIR AMERICA RADIO



"Bpyboy" <bpyboy@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040407172936.21296.00000628@mb-m19.aol.com...
: Hey guys, been busy lately, thought I might check in and see
what's going on!
:
: Unfortunatley, with wonderful spring weather, and tons of yard
work, has come
: an undeniable urge to drink! I did ok through the winter, but now
with the
: onset of summer, it's been on my mind a lot lately.
:
: So, between TONS of yard work (my hedges were about 3 years over
due for a
: "haircut"), I built 2 ENORMOUS compost piles for my garden,
started all my
: seedling, did my neighbor's shrubs and worked up her garden (she's
turning
: 80--could use a hand). ANYTHING to keep busy.
:
: I am going to see if my sponsor can go for a cup of coffee after
the meeting
: tonight, and talk with him about this. I don't understand what
the deal was,
: it seemed to be "losing it's grip" over the months, but now with
the changing
: season and weather, it's "gripping" back again?
:
: Perhaps someone knows some physiological/psychological reason for
this? I
: mean, my depression problems seem to have a seasonal component, so
why not my
: desire to drink? (i've been on a "high" for a couple weeks
now--also seasonal,
: ever since I was a kid).
:
: Anyways, working out deals with all sorts of people-----and you
guys are going
: to love this one-----I traded my very nice bottler (an
upright--from my brisk
: little homebrewing biz that I was running in my dry county!), and
a couple
: cases of empty bottles, for 3 truckloads of rotted
horse/goat/sheep manure for
: my garden!
:
: Then, since I frequent a local organic coffee shop, I made friends
with
: "Berkely Bob" and he hooked me up with 20 gallons of organic
coffee grounds (on
: the promise I'll deliver on the organic veggies in a couple
weeks), (he's at
: my meetings too--old school california hippy--and one hell of a
banjo player!).
: An old farmer down the road delivered another load of cow shit
and straw
: bedding, and a couple other neighbors delivered on the green grass
clippings.
:
: So I scrounged some huge sections of wire mesh and made 2 compost
bins, layered
: up the stuff like a "dagwood sandwich" (and blistered the hell out
of my
: hands--and my muscles are SCREAMING today) and even went as far as
to install
: aeration pipes.
:
: This moring, the compost heap had already reached 120 degrees, and
this
: afternoon, 140! (alternate use for beer making thermometer and pH
testing
: equipment?)
:
: So, this morning, while out enjoying the rather chilly sunrise and
a cigarette
: and cup of coffee, steam was PUMPING out of the aeration pipes!
:
: Crazy, i think I truly found a new addiction! The produce guy at
the grocery
: store is going to save up bad veggies to compost, I have 10
strains of
: tomatoes, 8 beans and 5 eggplants, and gourds, mellons......
:
: So, I guess that's about it, on the things to do list 1) clean the
house
: (sister coming to visit for easter!)
: 2) talk with sponsor about this new and powerful desire to get a 6
pack
: (haven't yet, but yesterday, I was DAMN tempted to)
: 3) baby the garden
: 4) In about a week, turn the compost heap--which has got to weigh
somewhere in
: the tons, now that it's properly watered.
:
: talk later
: John
:
: and for inspiration---read a book called "let it rot" about
composting!
: fascinating subject, much to my suprise! It was written by stu
campbell, and
: it's THE work on the subject.

[neuro equipoise]

On - Wed, Apr 7, 2004, 9:29pm (EDT+4) bpyboy@aol.com (Bpyboy) wrote:

> Unfortunatley, with wonderful spring weather, and
> tons of yard work, has come an undeniable urge
> to drink!

> So, between TONS of yard work (my hedges were
> about 3 years over due for a "haircut"), I built 2
> ENORMOUS compost piles for my garden, started
> all my seedling, did my neighbor's shrubs and
> worked up her garden (she's turning 80--could use
> a hand). ANYTHING to keep busy.

> Perhaps someone knows some
> physiological/psychological reason for this? I
> mean, my depression problems seem to have a
> seasonal component, so why not my desire to
> drink? (i've been on a "high" for a couple weeks
> now--also seasonal, ever since I was a kid).

You mention doing "TONS" of work. Have you been keeping up with carbos
and glucose to help your muscles? If not, the body will break down
muscle, and that can be responsible for your cravings...see excerpt
below.

Also, zinc is lost during heavy perspiration, - zinc is needed for
glucose metabolism, for producing serotonin, and maintaining inhibitory
chemistry. Have you kept up with daily B-complex vitamins, because
those are easily depleted too, and are needed for positive mood. You
mentioned drinking coffee and smoking, that would affect your B-complex
and zinc levels too.


Excerpt:

"Many people mistakenly believe that if they limit their carbohydrate
intake, and then exercise, their body fat will be broken down. What
happens, in fact, is that they are lowering their capacity to burn fat,
and will lower their metabolism. The reason for this is that the body
will break down muscle to form carbohydrate. In addition, the muscle
breakdown raises stress hormone levels and causes carbohydrate
cravings."
http://www.readysetgofitness.com/newsletter/39_Lovesthoseendorphins.html

[Bpyboy]

THanks Neuro. I talked with my doctor, who gave me very good info on diet
("recovery diet"). So i'm eating a lot of foods high in B-complex vits, plenty
of carbs, lots of fresh and lightly cooked veggies and fruit. I'm not HUNGRY,
and am actually putting on weight (muscular weight--body fat is actually down
almost 1%).

This one is in my head! staying busy so as not to think about it! The work
part I don't mind. Just drink A LOT of water and gatorade. And don't wait
until your's hands are tore open before wimping out and getting work gloves!

Thanks for the link though. I'll check it out.
John

[Bpyboy]

Oh, and yes, I have cut back the coffee to just one cup in the morning. I do
smoke, but my doctor suggested, that instead of taking the whole vitamin at
once, like with breakfast, to take it in 2 half doses. Same with the multi
vitamins.

PHYSICALLY I feel pretty well, not too depressed (well, my job search is kind
of a bummer, but that's life), it was just like a FEELING, like it was very
strange not to have a 12 pack sitting there--there always would have been
before!

It was like the first time I went fishing after quitting drinking. something
about it just wasn't "right". Probably just behavior that I need to un-learn,
then re-learn properly?

Anyways, I'm off to a meeting and to talk with my sponsor. I only drink coffee
in the afternoons and evenings with him, or during days like today where the
alternative thing would have been a run down to the package store!

but, tomorrow's another day. I'll make it through. It just suprised me how
suddenly and persistent the feeling was, just out of nowhere?
John

[Mias]

"Bpyboy" <bpyboy@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040407172936.21296.00000628@mb-m19.aol.com...
> Unfortunatley, with wonderful spring weather, and tons of yard work, has
come
> an undeniable urge to drink!
Hi John - Something similar that happened once or twice to me before major
slips was a feeling of 'I am OK again'. Meaning that the booze has
withdrawn, people are greeting me again and the sun shines brightly so
stinking thinking started like 'Last time that I went overboard on booze
was because I was unhappy / depressed / sick / whatever. Now I feel OK so
will probably be able to drink like a gentleman.' Have never been able to
drink like a gentleman and booze has taken me to the edge of death,
insanity, prison, joblessness and hopelessness but I managed to bulshit
myself quite a few times that I should try just one more time.
My personal cure for that was to find somebody, anybody, and share with them
what shite I caused when drinking and why I should rather perhaps not drink
again, even if I am how happy, even if I am perhaps so happy because of not
drinking. This always has the remarkable result that I feel good about being
sober and that I remember where I came from. Meetings or the casualty ward
of a hospital also reminded me of what effect booze had / could have on me.
Another plus about sharing is that someone somewhere might realise that it
is possible to stop drinking AND be happy. My memory about my past defects
tends to be extremely short, to my own detriment.
Hang in there
Kind regards
Mias
15 years clean and sober and enjoying every second of it!

[Bpyboy]

Thanks guy! Yeah, my sponsor had another commitment, so we only spoke for a
short time about my "problem", but, Hell, I didn't drink! The feeling is
passing (seems like now that it's in the open, it's not tearing at my insides
anymore?), and i'm ready to turn in.

Just had a nice dinner with the old Father in Law (who strangely talks much
more kindly to me since I don't drink), nice meeting, and I'm just going to
watch some crappy TV, and hit the bed.

Corny, but it's true! One day at a time!

Another day under the belt!

Goodnight (or day--bob!)
John

[Jonathan Bratt]

In message <20040407172936.21296.00000628@mb-m19.aol.com>, Bpyboy
<bpyboy@aol.com> writes
>Hey guys, been busy lately, thought I might check in and see what's
>going on!


After reading all that i had to have a lie down.

John sounds like things are going great and I'm so pleased for you!

Jonathan
--
Jonathan Bratt

[rosie]

john,
i cannot tell you how pleased i am to watch you "walk the walk" it
is a great example for all of us.
mia's post reminded me, that "one alcoholic talking to another" is
truly the big answer in our recovery program.

YOU WILL ALWAYS HEAR WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR..................in my
years, i have never seen it fail, never.

--
rosie

http://airamericaradio.com/www/pub/globalDefault.htm
AIR AMERICA RADIO



"Bpyboy" <bpyboy@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040407224320.13143.00000840@mb-m16.aol.com...
: Thanks guy! Yeah, my sponsor had another commitment, so we only
spoke for a
: short time about my "problem", but, Hell, I didn't drink! The
feeling is
: passing (seems like now that it's in the open, it's not tearing at
my insides
: anymore?), and i'm ready to turn in.
:
: Just had a nice dinner with the old Father in Law (who strangely
talks much
: more kindly to me since I don't drink), nice meeting, and I'm just
going to
: watch some crappy TV, and hit the bed.
:
: Corny, but it's true! One day at a time!
:
: Another day under the belt!
:
: Goodnight (or day--bob!)
: John

[Robert McGregor]

"rosie" <sorry@toomanymalcontents.com> wrote in message
news:F6bdc.74302$4B1.46399@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> YOU WILL ALWAYS HEAR WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR..................in my
> years, i have never seen it fail, never.
>
"rosie readandpost" <readandpostREMOVE@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:S%Fta.4797$dl6.266093@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> i have a private practice and take care of those who have difficulty
>staying sober, after attendance in treatments
> and/or recovery programs