Thank you!

[Ripple]

To everyone who replied ...

Thank You for your advice and words of support. You have no idea how
much its helping. Seriously, I've read these responses over and over.

Bobby L wrote>> Sounds like you spend everyday either planning to
drink, drinking, or recovering from drinking. Man, that's a tough
life.

That hits the nail on the head. After my weekend drunk, Monday and
Tuesday I'm recovering. This healing process makes me feel like I'm
doing something good for myself and even makes me feel virtuous. I
start making all kinds of promises to myself about getting sober. By
Wednesday or Thursday I can't remember how sick I was, or all the
foolish things I did and said over the weekend. That's when the "I'll
drink this weekend but I'll be good - only a six pack this weekend"
thoughts start to appear.

By Friday the plan is fully formed. Its usually a foolish plan
involving excuses (lies) to isolate myself or surround myself with my
drinking "friends". By the time I get home the trunk of my car is
packed with
all kinds of beer (you see, fancy beer is for the ~taste~ ... another
lie sneaking around in my brain). Once that first one is cracked the
dam bursts and there's no stopping me.

Sunnie wrote>> for some reason I can drink around the clock consuming
enormous amounts of alcohol

Exactly, I am a small person and I can drink football player size guys
under the table much to the joy of my drinking buddies. What a claim
to fame. My Napoleon complex revealed.

Today is very difficult because the drinking plans are starting to
form in the back of my mind almost like a conditioned response. While
"I" am making plans (following the great advice I've gotten here) to
go out to a movie, go to a museum, etc. the drunk inside me is also
making plans of his own. I don't have a split personality, its the
only way I can express this feeling.

Its a long (holiday) weekend for me so this one is going to be
difficult. In the back of my mind I'm saying "why start on a holiday
weekend, drink this weekend, then you'll be good next weekend". I'm
going to focus on each day, keep busy, keep distracted, go to bed
early. Being a holiday weekend its been tough trying to line up my
long lost sober friends.

Thank you again for everyone's advice and honesty. And thank you for
letting me drone on about me. I think that's the hardest part.

Ripple

[sunflowersxxox@webtv.net]

When I read about your thinking and
planning I see my own brain at work.
I want you to know I drank all weekend
as well....I spent all last night suffering...
shaking and sweating it out. No more
today I am now about 15 hours sober,
and everything is hard to manage. Think
it through, we all KNOW the consequences.

While I am too screwed up to get in the
car and drive to a meeting, I am calling
friends and it does help to read this message board. I know I am not
alone,
and all that crazy thinking, lying, manuevering sneaky behavior you
describe reminds me to stay sober today.
Thank you and good luck with this weekend.

Sunnie

[Moonraker]

"rock ooont roll" <dingdong46@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:3f04bb7d.26196171@shawnews.cg.shawcable.net.. .
> On Thu, 3 Jul 2003 11:22:10 -0700 (PDT), sunflowersxxox@webtv.net
.. Guess who's got it all
> planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
> job by Friday?Bloody Hell!
>
> jim

And this will improve the situation, how, exactly?

[rosie readandpost]

>Guess who's got it all
> planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
> job by Friday?Bloody Hell!
>
> jim


jim,
do you still think that getting drunk and high is the solution?


--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

rash indeed is he who reckons on the morrow, or
haply on days beyond it; for tomorrow is not, until
today is past.
...............................sophocles (406 BC)



"rock ooont roll" <dingdong46@shaw.ca> wrote in message news:3f04bb7d.26196171@shawnews.cg.shawcable.net.. .
> On Thu, 3 Jul 2003 11:22:10 -0700 (PDT), sunflowersxxox@webtv.net
> wrote:
>
> >When I read about your thinking and
> >planning I see my own brain at work.
> >I want you to know I drank all weekend
> >as well....I spent all last night suffering...
> >shaking and sweating it out. No more
> >today I am now about 15 hours sober,
> >and everything is hard to manage. Think
> >it through, we all KNOW the consequences.
> >
> >While I am too screwed up to get in the
> >car and drive to a meeting, I am calling
> >friends and it does help to read this message board. I know I am not
> >alone,
> >and all that crazy thinking, lying, manuevering sneaky behavior you
> >describe reminds me to stay sober today.
> >Thank you and good luck with this weekend.
> >
> >Sunnie
> >
>
>
> Hello,Im going through a similar thing with the brain planning to
> drink this weekend.The thing is i thought i had this job {ive been
> unemployed for several months} and the guy was supposed to let me know
> by wednesday at the latest,its now thursday and he hasn't called me or
> returned any of my voice messages left on his machine. I started a
> temporary job landscaping today,it was back breaking work and after a
> half day the boss fires me cause im "not strong enough". Actually i
> have a bad shoulder so i have to be carefull. Guess who's got it all
> planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
> job by Friday?Bloody Hell!
>
> jim

[My Name]

dingdong46@shaw.ca (rock ooont roll) wrote in
news:3f04bb7d.26196171@shawnews.cg.shawcable.net:

> Hello,Im going through a similar thing with the brain
> planning to drink this weekend.The thing is i thought i had
> this job {ive been unemployed for several months} and the
> guy was supposed to let me know by wednesday at the
> latest,its now thursday and he hasn't called me or returned
> any of my voice messages left on his machine. I started a
> temporary job landscaping today,it was back breaking work
> and after a half day the boss fires me cause im "not strong
> enough". Actually i have a bad shoulder so i have to be
> carefull. Guess who's got it all planned out to drink and
> get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the job by
> Friday?Bloody Hell!
>
> jim

I'll tell you what I have to tell myself in these type of
situations. "I can handle this too without drinking." We have
learn that we can deal with anything without drinking. Easier
said than done, but the more times done, the easier it becomes.

--
You know that some people are different.
Now ain't that a crying shame.
Wouldn't it be a real drag, if we were all the same.
Savoy Brown

[Ripple]

Hang in there with me. I feel like my skin is going to crawl off.
But so far so good. Tomorrow I plan to get up early to watch the sun
come up. With those first rays, who knows.

[Blue Moon]

On Thu, 03 Jul 2003 23:35:18 GMT, dingdong46@shaw.ca (rock ooont roll)
wrote:

>Guess who's got it all
>planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
>job by Friday?Bloody Hell!

Sounds like difficulty with Step 3, which I can understand - after a
lifetime of "self will run riot" it's easy to think I'm running the
show that is my life, and damn difficult to trust anyone, or any
thing, else to have half a clue. At the end of my drinking I didn't
even trust myself, let alone anyone else. I certainly wasn't going to
trust some airy-fairy "God of my non-understanding" to organize
things. That same lack of trust would keep sponsors, the recovery
program, or just "people" at arms length.

But an honest appraisal of my life, a week or two after my last drink,
showed me that my life was totally unmanageable by me, to the extent
that I would always eventually drink again if things didn't turn out
exactly as I wanted them to be. I believe one of the most important
statements in the AA book is "the alcoholic is an extreme example of
self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so". I needed the
willingness to change, and sometimes that means working at things
which make little sense and are contrary to my nature, yet which
apparently worked for so many others.

Today there is honestly no way that a non-job would get me to drink,
because I know that drinking only made matters worse, never better.
It only SEEMED to make things better in my own perception.

Kind of helps to realise .... realize (I'm trying to learn 'Merkin :)
) ... one or two things:

1. "Everything is as it's supposed to be"
2. "My case is not different"
3. "Keep everything in the day"
4. "This too will pass"

--
Blue Moon

[rosie readandpost]

-I know I
> have - unfortunately happily ever after is just a fairy story. Take care,
> Deb
>


deb,
i refer to that as LIVING LIFE ON LIFES TERMS!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

rash indeed is he who reckons on the morrow, or
haply on days beyond it; for tomorrow is not, until
today is past.
...............................sophocles (406 BC)



"Plug" <gluggaglug@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:be36vg$8bn$1@hercules.btinternet.com...
>
> "rock ooont roll" <dingdong46@shaw.ca> wrote in message
> news:3f04bb7d.26196171@shawnews.cg.shawcable.net.. .
> > On Thu, 3 Jul 2003 11:22:10 -0700 (PDT), sunflowersxxox@webtv.net
> > wrote:
> >
> > >When I read about your thinking and
> > >planning I see my own brain at work.
> > >I want you to know I drank all weekend
> > >as well....I spent all last night suffering...
> > >shaking and sweating it out. No more
> > >today I am now about 15 hours sober,
> > >and everything is hard to manage. Think
> > >it through, we all KNOW the consequences.
> > >
> > >While I am too screwed up to get in the
> > >car and drive to a meeting, I am calling
> > >friends and it does help to read this message board. I know I am not
> > >alone,
> > >and all that crazy thinking, lying, manuevering sneaky behavior you
> > >describe reminds me to stay sober today.
> > >Thank you and good luck with this weekend.
> > >
> > >Sunnie
> > >
> >
> >
> > Hello,Im going through a similar thing with the brain planning to
> > drink this weekend.The thing is i thought i had this job {ive been
> > unemployed for several months} and the guy was supposed to let me know
> > by wednesday at the latest,its now thursday and he hasn't called me or
> > returned any of my voice messages left on his machine. I started a
> > temporary job landscaping today,it was back breaking work and after a
> > half day the boss fires me cause im "not strong enough". Actually i
> > have a bad shoulder so i have to be carefull. Guess who's got it all
> > planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
> > job by Friday?Bloody Hell!
> >
> > jim
>
> Hi Jim,
> It does sound as if you haven't got that job. Perhaps in a week's time you
> could phone and ask the person who interviewed you why you didn't get the
> job - it is always useful to know as it could help you in the future. If
> the co. had promised to let you know either way, it is very poor of them not
> to notify you.
> As for the landscaping job - you shouldn't be doing heavy physical work if
> you have an injured shoulder. I suppose you think anything is better than
> nothing and are getting desperate?
> I don't know where you live or your capabilities but have you tried asking
> around your friends or getting in touch with old work mates enquiring about
> work?
> To drink or not is your decision - if having a moan on here helps, do it.
> You will always come across situations that test you to the limit -I know I
> have - unfortunately happily ever after is just a fairy story. Take care,
> Deb
>
>

[Shawster]

One of the important things about going to meetings is that you get to hear
things that you might not normally hear.

Last night at the YPG I saw a kid sit through almost the entire meeting
before bursting into tears. He had 20 days sober, and the night prior his
Dad was killed in a plane crash. He didn't drink, and went to a meeting.

Shaw

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:31fNa.72529$fe.1594609@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> -I know I
> > have - unfortunately happily ever after is just a fairy story. Take
care,
> > Deb
> >
>
>
> deb,
> i refer to that as LIVING LIFE ON LIFES TERMS!
>
> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
> rash indeed is he who reckons on the morrow, or
> haply on days beyond it; for tomorrow is not, until
> today is past.
> ..............................sophocles (406 BC)
>
>
>
> "Plug" <gluggaglug@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:be36vg$8bn$1@hercules.btinternet.com...
> >
> > "rock ooont roll" <dingdong46@shaw.ca> wrote in message
> > news:3f04bb7d.26196171@shawnews.cg.shawcable.net.. .
> > > On Thu, 3 Jul 2003 11:22:10 -0700 (PDT), sunflowersxxox@webtv.net
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >When I read about your thinking and
> > > >planning I see my own brain at work.
> > > >I want you to know I drank all weekend
> > > >as well....I spent all last night suffering...
> > > >shaking and sweating it out. No more
> > > >today I am now about 15 hours sober,
> > > >and everything is hard to manage. Think
> > > >it through, we all KNOW the consequences.
> > > >
> > > >While I am too screwed up to get in the
> > > >car and drive to a meeting, I am calling
> > > >friends and it does help to read this message board. I know I am not
> > > >alone,
> > > >and all that crazy thinking, lying, manuevering sneaky behavior you
> > > >describe reminds me to stay sober today.
> > > >Thank you and good luck with this weekend.
> > > >
> > > >Sunnie
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Hello,Im going through a similar thing with the brain planning to
> > > drink this weekend.The thing is i thought i had this job {ive been
> > > unemployed for several months} and the guy was supposed to let me know
> > > by wednesday at the latest,its now thursday and he hasn't called me or
> > > returned any of my voice messages left on his machine. I started a
> > > temporary job landscaping today,it was back breaking work and after a
> > > half day the boss fires me cause im "not strong enough". Actually i
> > > have a bad shoulder so i have to be carefull. Guess who's got it all
> > > planned out to drink and get some pot if he finds out he hasnt got the
> > > job by Friday?Bloody Hell!
> > >
> > > jim
> >
> > Hi Jim,
> > It does sound as if you haven't got that job. Perhaps in a week's time
you
> > could phone and ask the person who interviewed you why you didn't get
the
> > job - it is always useful to know as it could help you in the future.
If
> > the co. had promised to let you know either way, it is very poor of them
not
> > to notify you.
> > As for the landscaping job - you shouldn't be doing heavy physical work
if
> > you have an injured shoulder. I suppose you think anything is better
than
> > nothing and are getting desperate?
> > I don't know where you live or your capabilities but have you tried
asking
> > around your friends or getting in touch with old work mates enquiring
about
> > work?
> > To drink or not is your decision - if having a moan on here helps, do
it.
> > You will always come across situations that test you to the limit -I
know I
> > have - unfortunately happily ever after is just a fairy story. Take
care,
> > Deb
> >
> >
>
>
>

[Bill Johnston, 11 Greenfield St., Buffalo, NY, 14214 \(716\) 838-3038]

the menu of drinking rules i had, such as no drinking until 11pm, no working
on repairs and drinking, limit 2 beers per hour based on my 225 body weight,
all seemed to be forgotten every night when i lost count of the number of
beers per hour.

for me, the number of beers per hour must be zero.

when i asked my counsellor about "non-alcoholic beer of 0.5% or less", she
replied "it's just an appe-teaser. don't drink any quantity of alcohol."

i now see my drinking buddies actually get goofy after 2 cans of 5.9%
keystone ice. i just never knew it until i stopped drinking.

funny remark from my good neighbors [after they were having whiskey sours]
on a recent porch visit: "you know, you're just as funny now [sober] as
when you were drinking."
funny how i learn more about myself, now that i can remember more about
"last night" each day.



















"Ripple" <therisingsun91@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b2da4424.0307030915.59610a73@posting.google.c om...
> To everyone who replied ...
>
> Thank You for your advice and words of support. You have no idea how
> much its helping. Seriously, I've read these responses over and over.
>
> Bobby L wrote>> Sounds like you spend everyday either planning to
> drink, drinking, or recovering from drinking. Man, that's a tough
> life.
>
> That hits the nail on the head. After my weekend drunk, Monday and
> Tuesday I'm recovering. This healing process makes me feel like I'm
> doing something good for myself and even makes me feel virtuous. I
> start making all kinds of promises to myself about getting sober. By
> Wednesday or Thursday I can't remember how sick I was, or all the
> foolish things I did and said over the weekend. That's when the "I'll
> drink this weekend but I'll be good - only a six pack this weekend"
> thoughts start to appear.
>
> By Friday the plan is fully formed. Its usually a foolish plan
> involving excuses (lies) to isolate myself or surround myself with my
> drinking "friends". By the time I get home the trunk of my car is
> packed with
> all kinds of beer (you see, fancy beer is for the ~taste~ ... another
> lie sneaking around in my brain). Once that first one is cracked the
> dam bursts and there's no stopping me.
>
> Sunnie wrote>> for some reason I can drink around the clock consuming
> enormous amounts of alcohol
>
> Exactly, I am a small person and I can drink football player size guys
> under the table much to the joy of my drinking buddies. What a claim
> to fame. My Napoleon complex revealed.
>
> Today is very difficult because the drinking plans are starting to
> form in the back of my mind almost like a conditioned response. While
> "I" am making plans (following the great advice I've gotten here) to
> go out to a movie, go to a museum, etc. the drunk inside me is also
> making plans of his own. I don't have a split personality, its the
> only way I can express this feeling.
>
> Its a long (holiday) weekend for me so this one is going to be
> difficult. In the back of my mind I'm saying "why start on a holiday
> weekend, drink this weekend, then you'll be good next weekend". I'm
> going to focus on each day, keep busy, keep distracted, go to bed
> early. Being a holiday weekend its been tough trying to line up my
> long lost sober friends.
>
> Thank you again for everyone's advice and honesty. And thank you for
> letting me drone on about me. I think that's the hardest part.
>
> Ripple

[Bill Johnston, 11 Greenfield St., Buffalo, NY, 14214 \(716\) 838-3038]

all my new "drinking" buddies seem to be in this newsgroup!
thanks to all. -bill



<sunflowersxxox@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:14624-3F047452-183@storefull-2215.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> When I read about your thinking and
> planning I see my own brain at work.
> I want you to know I drank all weekend
> as well....I spent all last night suffering...
> shaking and sweating it out. No more
> today I am now about 15 hours sober,
> and everything is hard to manage. Think
> it through, we all KNOW the consequences.
>
> While I am too screwed up to get in the
> car and drive to a meeting, I am calling
> friends and it does help to read this message board. I know I am not
> alone,
> and all that crazy thinking, lying, manuevering sneaky behavior you
> describe reminds me to stay sober today.
> Thank you and good luck with this weekend.
>
> Sunnie
>

[rosie readandpost]

bill,
you might want to consider getting your address and phone number out of your screen name.
lots of weirdoes around!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

say the best...... think the rest.
.........................c. seibold