Just need a little support...

[Kirk S]

Hi all,

Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well. I'm going
through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at this
point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still are serious
to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the lemons
being served up.

Yep, my life is a country western song:

I lost my job,
My girlfriend left me,
My truck broke down,
My dog is old and ready to be put down.

I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist to help me
deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking will not
help me in the long run however at this point I need a little moral support
from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether I'm really
an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At other
times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape. If I
look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat however nothing
much tastes very good.

Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your problems? Or does
it have to get worse before it gets better? Geez, I don't even want to
think about what else might happen!

Kirk S. <no matter how bad things seem, drinking will make them worse!>

[Kai]

Kirk S wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well. I'm going
> through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at this
> point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still are serious
> to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the lemons
> being served up.
>
> Yep, my life is a country western song:
>
> I lost my job,

Would you have held your job had you been drinking for the last 31 days?

> My girlfriend left me,

Did she leave you because you got sober?

> My truck broke down,

Trucks do that without any consideration of whether we drink or not.
Bastards.

> My dog is old and ready to be put down.

Time does that. Sorry for your dog.

>
> I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist to help me
> deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking will not
> help me in the long run however at this point I need a little moral support
> from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether I'm really
> an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At other
> times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.

How can something be both easy and all consuming?

> If I
> look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat however nothing
> much tastes very good.
>
> Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your problems?

Not necessarily automatically, no. But you will stop actively making
it worse yourself, and you will learn how to make it better.

> Or does
> it have to get worse before it gets better?

No way. But there is a chance it'll look like that to you because
feeling sorry and sore enough would be a good reason to give up and
drink. A drying drunks mind tries many tricks.

> Geez, I don't even want to
> think about what else might happen!

Who says you have to? You'll know what'll happen in due time so why
ponder about it. My advice is concentrate on your life today.

Kai

[Kirk S]

"Kai" <soberon@nospamo.luukku.com> wrote in message
news:c138i2$238$1@phys-news1.kolumbus.fi...
> Kirk S wrote:
>
> > Hi all,
> >
> > Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well. I'm
going
> > through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at this
> > point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still are
serious
> > to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the
lemons
> > being served up.
> >
> > Yep, my life is a country western song:
> >
> > I lost my job,
>
> Would you have held your job had you been drinking for the last 31 days?

Nope, company closed without my help at all. Wasn't an issue.
>
> > My girlfriend left me,
>
> Did she leave you because you got sober?

Long story... We started smoking weed years ago because she wanted me to be
more fun. At the time, I knew I would start drinking again. It was only a
matter of when. It ended when I wouldn't tell my family I had been
drinking. Right or wrong, I didn't see how it would help them understand.
The drinking wasn't the problem in the relationship. I drank because I
didn't want to admit it wasn't working.
>
> > My truck broke down,
>
> Trucks do that without any consideration of whether we drink or not.
> Bastards.

Especially when you drive old ones like I do.
>
> > My dog is old and ready to be put down.
>
> Time does that. Sorry for your dog.

Yeah, it's easier if I think about him instead of me. What is his quality
of life? Since he has been such a loyal friend, he deserves the same
treatment from me.
>
> >
> > I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist to
help me
> > deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking will
not
> > help me in the long run however at this point I need a little moral
support
> > from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether I'm
really
> > an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At other
> > times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.
>
> How can something be both easy and all consuming?

The first time I quit, I did for close to nine years. Never thought about
it once until I started back into smoking weed. At times, the thought of
drinking doesn't even enter my mind and others, it does. I guess what I
meant was that when I am drinking, it occupies my mind; thinking about it,
planning it, executing it. I have been drinking off and on the past four
years. I'll stop for six or seven months at a time then pick it up again.
>
> > If I
> > look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat however
nothing
> > much tastes very good.
> >
> > Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your problems?
>
> Not necessarily automatically, no. But you will stop actively making
> it worse yourself, and you will learn how to make it better.

Yeah, problems don't go away. Kinda like cancer; if you ignore it, it can
kill you...
>
> > Or does
> > it have to get worse before it gets better?
>
> No way. But there is a chance it'll look like that to you because
> feeling sorry and sore enough would be a good reason to give up and
> drink. A drying drunks mind tries many tricks.

Yeah, I've heard all my rationalizations and recognize them. I have made
the decision that there is no circumstance that drinking is an option.
>
> > Geez, I don't even want to
> > think about what else might happen!
>
> Who says you have to? You'll know what'll happen in due time so why
> ponder about it. My advice is concentrate on your life today.

Yep, doesn't help to worry about the future.
>
> Kai

Thanks!

[neuro equipoise]

On - Thu, Feb 19, 2004, 2:50pm (EST-1) kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com
(Kirk*S) wrote:

> I lost my job,
> My girlfriend left me,
> My truck broke down,
> My dog is old and ready to be put down.

What is in your control, is how you choose to feel about yourself when
all these things happen around you. Having self-esteem makes coping
with pain easier. It's about trusting yourself, and knowing that you
can deal with challenges and grief.


> I eat however nothing much tastes very good.

How are your zinc levels? Alcoholics excrete zinc at greater rates, and
zinc levels affect the sense of taste.

> Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal
> with your problems?

Life is full of challenges. It's how you look at them.
It's about how you choose to feel about yourself during the worst times.

[rosie]

dear kirk,
have you tried going to an AA meeting?
being with, and discussing my alcoholism with other alcoholics
REALLY put things in perspective for me.......................

i am a fan of therapy, if needed, but i am a bigger fan of AA!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

Congress has the power to censure the President -- to formally
reprimand him for his betrayal of the nation's trust. If ever there
was a time to use this function, it is now. Join the call for
Congress to censure President Bush now at:
http://www.moveon.org/censure/?id=-1555727-LwxVozqbsXUubaCq5RHn6g



"Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:Xj9Zb.20031$_66.7637@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> Hi all,
>
> Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well.
I'm going
> through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at
this
> point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still
are serious
> to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the
lemons
> being served up.
>
> Yep, my life is a country western song:
>
> I lost my job,
> My girlfriend left me,
> My truck broke down,
> My dog is old and ready to be put down.
>
> I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist
to help me
> deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking
will not
> help me in the long run however at this point I need a little
moral support
> from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether
I'm really
> an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At
other
> times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.
If I
> look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat
however nothing
> much tastes very good.
>
> Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your
problems? Or does
> it have to get worse before it gets better? Geez, I don't even
want to
> think about what else might happen!
>
> Kirk S. <no matter how bad things seem, drinking will make them
worse!>
>
>

[Kirk S]

Thanks all...

I needed a little support and now I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.
Yuck, what a terrible choice to do to myself.

You've been a great help!

Kirk S.

" rosie" <readandpostNO-NO@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:KcbZb.27004$fW.7443@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> dear kirk,
> have you tried going to an AA meeting?
> being with, and discussing my alcoholism with other alcoholics
> REALLY put things in perspective for me.......................
>
> i am a fan of therapy, if needed, but i am a bigger fan of AA!
>
> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
> Congress has the power to censure the President -- to formally
> reprimand him for his betrayal of the nation's trust. If ever there
> was a time to use this function, it is now. Join the call for
> Congress to censure President Bush now at:
> http://www.moveon.org/censure/?id=-1555727-LwxVozqbsXUubaCq5RHn6g
>
>
>
> "Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:Xj9Zb.20031$_66.7637@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> > Hi all,
> >
> > Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well.
> I'm going
> > through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at
> this
> > point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still
> are serious
> > to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the
> lemons
> > being served up.
> >
> > Yep, my life is a country western song:
> >
> > I lost my job,
> > My girlfriend left me,
> > My truck broke down,
> > My dog is old and ready to be put down.
> >
> > I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist
> to help me
> > deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking
> will not
> > help me in the long run however at this point I need a little
> moral support
> > from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether
> I'm really
> > an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At
> other
> > times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.
> If I
> > look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat
> however nothing
> > much tastes very good.
> >
> > Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your
> problems? Or does
> > it have to get worse before it gets better? Geez, I don't even
> want to
> > think about what else might happen!
> >
> > Kirk S. <no matter how bad things seem, drinking will make them
> worse!>
> >
> >
>
>

[Julie LaRue]

" rosie" <readandpostNO-NO@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:KcbZb.27004$fW.7443@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> dear kirk,
> have you tried going to an AA meeting?
> being with, and discussing my alcoholism with other alcoholics
> REALLY put things in perspective for me.......................
>
Now that is an excellent idea and it doesnt cost $150.00 an hour.
When i was first getting sober i remember telling my sponsor about the
terrible things that had happened to me and how horrible things were going.
She cut me off in the middle of my emoutional out burst and asked, "are you
though banging your cup on your highchair now? All you need to worry
yourself about is not drinking no matter what happens, reading the big book,
calling me at least one time a day, and showing up every sunday at my house
to work the steps with me".
I was shocked, but after i thought about she was right. I could not change
the past and my using it as an excuse was a waste of time.

> i am a fan of therapy, if needed, but i am a bigger fan of AA!
>
I totally agree!



> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
> Congress has the power to censure the President -- to formally
> reprimand him for his betrayal of the nation's trust. If ever there
> was a time to use this function, it is now. Join the call for
> Congress to censure President Bush now at:
> http://www.moveon.org/censure/?id=-1555727-LwxVozqbsXUubaCq5RHn6g
>
>
>
> "Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:Xj9Zb.20031$_66.7637@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> > Hi all,
> >
> > Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well.
> I'm going
> > through a particulary tough time and I guess it is what I need at
> this
> > point. While my problems are not as serious as some, they still
> are serious
> > to me and right now, I'm having trouble making lemonade out of the
> lemons
> > being served up.
> >
> > Yep, my life is a country western song:
> >
> > I lost my job,
> > My girlfriend left me,
> > My truck broke down,
> > My dog is old and ready to be put down.
> >
> > I've been off drinking for thirty one days and seeing a therapist
> to help me
> > deal with my issues that led me to drink. I do know that drinking
> will not
> > help me in the long run however at this point I need a little
> moral support
> > from the group to help me through. Sometimes, I question whether
> I'm really
> > an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At
> other
> > times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.
> If I
> > look at the HALT chart, I'm Angry, Lonely and Tired. I eat
> however nothing
> > much tastes very good.
> >
> > Isn't life supposed to get better when you deal with your
> problems? Or does
> > it have to get worse before it gets better? Geez, I don't even
> want to
> > think about what else might happen!
> >
> > Kirk S. <no matter how bad things seem, drinking will make them
> worse!>
> >
> >
>
>

[Christine]

>Sometimes, I question whether I'm really
>an alcoholic due to the ease of which I'm able to give it up. At other
>times, I look at how it becomes an all consuming desire to escape.

I have been going back and forth on this myself the past couple of days ... I'm
thinking, well, I've never really *tried* to moderate my drinking, maybe just
on days off, perhaps a few pops with dinner etc. ... it's just my mind
tricking me, I know. When I'm thinking these thoughts, I start kicking myself
for "coming out of the closet" to my family and few friends I have about my
alcoholism. How can I try to moderate and socially drink if I have no one to
drink with? I would be a closet drinker, drinking alone, a means to what end?
Just to prove I could moderate my drinking? It's just all so f'd up .... it's
the real first time I've had the desire to be "normal".

It really helps me to work these things through to the end ... that first drink
will ...??? Then what?

[Mias]

Dear Kirk - IMHO if one just stick around long enough and go through the
same motions as other sober people then things do get better. I had a
'trick' when feeling down in the early days, which I still use now. I used
to go down to the Donkin Reserve in Port Elizabeth and sit at the pyramid
looking at the sea. There is quite a number of people on the outers there. I
would then share with one of them what happens when I drink. This helped me
twofold. First I felt I might be doing 'something good' in twelve stepping.
Secondly I realised again how easily i bullshit myself that life was 'good'
when drinking. Lastly, I was amazed at the quality of the people hiding
behind those sad faces on the outers. I realised that 'there, but for the
grace of God, goes I'.
Thinking of you
Kind regards
Mias