Beware of "friends"

[Kirk S]

I was talking with a friend of mine that I used to get drunk with and he
wanted to know if I had started drinking again yet. I replied that no, I'm
doing great, why? He said well, you've tried to quit before and you started
drinking again so what is different now? I understand that he is feeling a
bit threatened by my actions and I don't spend much time with him now
however, why do some people find it necessary to remind others of their
failings? Like I don't know that I chose to drink again? Why would he want
me to fail? Misery loves company? A friend should support you; not remind
you of the past.

Is choosing to stay sober that scary to those "friends" that may have a
problem yet will not acknowledge it? Is there any way to give them a nudge
or must they find their own way? I will not make myself responsible for his
choices, it is just hard to watch someone you care about destroy themselves.
It will not bring me down because my sobriety IS the most important thing to
me because without it, I am of no use to myself.

Kirk S. <eight days and still no desire to drink>

[>rosie]

kirk,
after sobering up, i did learn which of my acquaintances were true
friends and which weren't.
i must admit that i was very hurt and disappointed, but i stuck with
my recovery program, filling my days with recovering people and
after time, developed several new friends, who are still friends
today!


--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often
groans
more loudly than an empty stomach.
...............................Franklin Delano Roosevelt

http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/










"Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:QtiRb.72330$LW.37426@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> I was talking with a friend of mine that I used to get drunk with
and he
> wanted to know if I had started drinking again yet. I replied
that no, I'm
> doing great, why? He said well, you've tried to quit before and
you started
> drinking again so what is different now? I understand that he is
feeling a
> bit threatened by my actions and I don't spend much time with him
now
> however, why do some people find it necessary to remind others of
their
> failings? Like I don't know that I chose to drink again? Why
would he want
> me to fail? Misery loves company? A friend should support you;
not remind
> you of the past.
>
> Is choosing to stay sober that scary to those "friends" that may
have a
> problem yet will not acknowledge it? Is there any way to give
them a nudge
> or must they find their own way? I will not make myself
responsible for his
> choices, it is just hard to watch someone you care about destroy
themselves.
> It will not bring me down because my sobriety IS the most
important thing to
> me because without it, I am of no use to myself.
>
> Kirk S. <eight days and still no desire to drink>
>
>

[Kirk S]

Rosie,

Yeah, it just reminds me of the bad choices I made and how bad he must feel
to say something that rotten. Criticism is probably one of the most
damaging things one person can do to another. I only fail when I give up.
Besides, I've learned from each time I decided to go back drinking.
Evidently it was necessary for me to understand that I cannot be a moderate
drinker. Abstaining is my only choice.

Thanks!

Kirk S. <not drinking and wouldn't have it any other way>
" >rosie<" <readandpostTAKETHISOUT@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:V8jRb.108659$VV4.6581@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> kirk,
> after sobering up, i did learn which of my acquaintances were true
> friends and which weren't.
> i must admit that i was very hurt and disappointed, but i stuck with
> my recovery program, filling my days with recovering people and
> after time, developed several new friends, who are still friends
> today!
>
>
> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
> It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often
> groans
> more loudly than an empty stomach.
> ..............................Franklin Delano Roosevelt
>
> http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
> news:QtiRb.72330$LW.37426@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> > I was talking with a friend of mine that I used to get drunk with
> and he
> > wanted to know if I had started drinking again yet. I replied
> that no, I'm
> > doing great, why? He said well, you've tried to quit before and
> you started
> > drinking again so what is different now? I understand that he is
> feeling a
> > bit threatened by my actions and I don't spend much time with him
> now
> > however, why do some people find it necessary to remind others of
> their
> > failings? Like I don't know that I chose to drink again? Why
> would he want
> > me to fail? Misery loves company? A friend should support you;
> not remind
> > you of the past.
> >
> > Is choosing to stay sober that scary to those "friends" that may
> have a
> > problem yet will not acknowledge it? Is there any way to give
> them a nudge
> > or must they find their own way? I will not make myself
> responsible for his
> > choices, it is just hard to watch someone you care about destroy
> themselves.
> > It will not bring me down because my sobriety IS the most
> important thing to
> > me because without it, I am of no use to myself.
> >
> > Kirk S. <eight days and still no desire to drink>
> >
> >
>
>

[Fred Exley]

There's a guy at my local hangout like that. When he sees me sober, he
INSISTS on trying to buy me a drink. I never took him up on it, but he
doesn't let up. Thing is, he was in the hospital for over a week with some
alcohol-related pancreas problem and isn't supposed to drink again. He
lasted a few days on the wagon. When sober, like you, I see some 'friends'
aren't really friends at all...


"Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:QtiRb.72330$LW.37426@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> I was talking with a friend of mine that I used to get drunk with and he
> wanted to know if I had started drinking again yet. I replied that no,
I'm
> doing great, why? He said well, you've tried to quit before and you
started
> drinking again so what is different now? I understand that he is feeling
a
> bit threatened by my actions and I don't spend much time with him now
> however, why do some people find it necessary to remind others of their
> failings? Like I don't know that I chose to drink again? Why would he
want
> me to fail? Misery loves company? A friend should support you; not
remind
> you of the past.
>
> Is choosing to stay sober that scary to those "friends" that may have a
> problem yet will not acknowledge it? Is there any way to give them a
nudge
> or must they find their own way? I will not make myself responsible for
his
> choices, it is just hard to watch someone you care about destroy
themselves.
> It will not bring me down because my sobriety IS the most important thing
to
> me because without it, I am of no use to myself.
>
> Kirk S. <eight days and still no desire to drink>
>
>

[Julie LaRue]

"Kirk S" <kspradling@nospamkc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:QtiRb.72330$LW.37426@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...

> Is choosing to stay sober that scary to those "friends" that may have a
> problem yet will not acknowledge it?
Yes, who wishes to look into the mirror knowing they will see the tragady of
their own life and the disaster they have casued.

> Is there any way to give them a nudge or must they find their own way?
Your own recovery is the only thing that will mean anything to them. If
they ask how or why you did it then tell them, other wise you are wasting
your efforts.

> choices, it is just hard to watch someone you care about destroy
themselves.
I'm sure you have loved ones and old friends who have watched your own
distruction. I would suggest that you ask someone at a meeting to be your
sponsor and focus on YOU right now.

> It will not bring me down because my sobriety IS the most important thing
to
> me because without it, I am of no use to myself.
>
> Kirk S. <eight days and still no desire to drink>
>
Enjo

[>rosie]

> Evidently it was necessary for me to understand that I cannot be a
moderate
> drinker. Abstaining is my only choice.
>
> Thanks!
>
> Kirk S.


just like in CHAPTER THREE most of us, have tried to control our
drinking, BEFORE we finally give up and
abstain.........................