Re: With the help of friends, it can be done

[rosie readandpost]

>
> You'll be pleased to know that I don't consider myself to be a victim of my husband's >decisions.


actually JB, i congratulate you again, on your two weeks, but must warn you that in my experience, having that stuff
(wine) around the house in those early months, is a risk that is not necessary!

sorry if my use of the word "victim" upset you!
--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

Do not meditate - be!
Do not think that you are - be!
Don't think about being - you are!
..................................Sri Ramana Maharshi






"catsruleok" <catsruleok@bigfoot.com> wrote in message news:bd7svl$jh9$1@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> "rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:VkCJa.105322$Xl.1959491@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> >
> > > My husband has offered several times this week to give up drinking. He knows that I would
> greatly
> > > appreciate it if he did. As yet, his offer remains just an offer :^(
> > >
> > > JB
> > >
> >
> >
> > JB,
> > can you explain to your husband that his drinking IS EFFECTING you and his stopping would be
> wonderful? not dropping the
> > subject, and becoming a victim of his decisions.
> > are you the person who buys the alcohol for the household?
> >
> <snip>
>
> Dear Rosie,
>
> You'll be pleased to know that I don't consider myself to be a victim of my husband's decisions. If
> I did, I would not now be celebrating two weeks of sobriety..
>
> Hope all continues to go well for you
>
> JB
>
>
>

[catsruleok]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:VkCJa.105322$Xl.1959491@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> > My husband has offered several times this week to give up drinking. He knows that I would
greatly
> > appreciate it if he did. As yet, his offer remains just an offer :^(
> >
> > JB
> >
>
>
> JB,
> can you explain to your husband that his drinking IS EFFECTING you and his stopping would be
wonderful? not dropping the
> subject, and becoming a victim of his decisions.
> are you the person who buys the alcohol for the household?
>
<snip>

Dear Rosie,

You'll be pleased to know that I don't consider myself to be a victim of my husband's decisions. If
I did, I would not now be celebrating two weeks of sobriety..

Hope all continues to go well for you

JB

[catsruleok]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:p0LJa.106693$Xl.1986077@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> >
> > You'll be pleased to know that I don't consider myself to be a victim of my husband's
>decisions.
>
>
> actually JB, i congratulate you again, on your two weeks, but must warn you that in my experience,
having that stuff
> (wine) around the house in those early months, is a risk that is not necessary!
>
> sorry if my use of the word "victim" upset you!
> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
> Do not meditate - be!
> Do not think that you are - be!
> Don't think about being - you are!
> .................................Sri Ramana Maharshi

Dear Rosie,

There's no need to apologise as I'm not at all upset by anything you said.

I agree with your point about the risk of having alcohol in the house and would advise any
recovering alcoholic to not do so if they can help it. I can't avoid it because if my husband
wants it and if he doesn't get it, my life at this time could be much more difficult.

JB

[rosie readandpost]

I can't avoid it because if my husband
> wants it and if he doesn't get it, my life at this time could be much more difficult.
>
> JB
>
>
>
even though he has offered to stop, many times?

[Robert McGregor]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:SHNJa.143782$jT4.2584525@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> I can't avoid it because if my husband
> > wants it and if he doesn't get it, my life at this time could be much
more difficult.
> >
> > JB
> >
> >
> >
> even though he has offered to stop, many times?
>
>

http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_101.htm
"Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still
has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual
status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland
Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and
ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on
the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield
the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to
shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a
bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to
do the impossible have always failed."

[rosie readandpost]

"debs" <debs172@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:bd90e5$deu$1@sparta.btinternet.com...
> I have spent the whole of my sober time with alcohol in the house. I just
> decided that it wasn't for me anymore.


in my alcoholism, i decided alot of things, but didn't start recovery until i learned to follow suggestions, and stop
making my own decisions for awhile.
for me, that meant removing all alcohol from the house for a time.
i did the same thing when i quit smoking.
all cigs, butts, lighters and ashtrays were removed.

does that make me weak?
don't know, don't care.
i am a smoke free recovering alcoholic, and i went to any lengths to be so!

that is my experience, and it is not meant to be a comment on anyone else's road to recovery!

rosie

[catsruleok]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:b2YJa.108664$Xl.2040545@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
>
> "debs" <debs172@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:bd90e5$deu$1@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > I have spent the whole of my sober time with alcohol in the house. I just
> > decided that it wasn't for me anymore.
>
>
> in my alcoholism, i decided alot of things, but didn't start recovery until i learned to follow
suggestions, and stop
> making my own decisions for awhile.
> for me, that meant removing all alcohol from the house for a time.
> i did the same thing when i quit smoking.
> all cigs, butts, lighters and ashtrays were removed.
>
> does that make me weak?
> don't know, don't care.
> i am a smoke free recovering alcoholic, and i went to any lengths to be so!
>
> that is my experience, and it is not meant to be a comment on anyone else's road to recovery!
>
> rosie
>
Dear Rosie,

I'm glad you found it possible to remove all that tempted you from your house. If you were livng
alone at the time, that would have been an easier thing for you to do than if you were sharing your
home with someone who likes a drink and who does not want to give it up. Depending on their
circumstances, an alcohlic who wants to become a recovering alcoholic will use whatever means they
have available to acheive their goal. However they chose to achieve it, they don't deserve
criticism. This adds to their stress. Instead, they deserve praise.

JB


made things eadsy.owuldI that s. empationsbile to removeadear Ri>

[Moonraker]

"catsruleok" <catsruleok@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:bd9mj8$r2o$1@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> PS: Forgot to say Rosie that even when you are not being critical of
someone else's behaviour,
> sometimes the way you write, gives the impression that you are being.
>
> JB
>
>
>
Naaah. Rosie, despite putting on the sugary-sweet front, can't help
looking down her nose at the rest of the world, it just comes naturally to
her.

Nobody is as sober as she is, as depression-free as she is, as smoke-free as
she is, as medically astute as she is, as rich and well-married as she is,
nor as smart as she is.

I mean, who WOULDN'T wanna be her?

[catsruleok]

PS: Forgot to say Rosie that even when you are not being critical of someone else's behaviour,
sometimes the way you write, gives the impression that you are being.

JB

[rosie readandpost]

JB,
everyone is free to post here or email me, if there is ANY QUESTION, about my posts!
the only folks that i have been critical of, AND HIGHLY CRITICAL,(as are alot of others) are those who, imo, can do
great harm in here.

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie



"catsruleok" <catsruleok@bigfoot.com> wrote in message news:bd9mj8$r2o$1@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> PS: Forgot to say Rosie that even when you are not being critical of someone else's behaviour,
> sometimes the way you write, gives the impression that you are being.
>
> JB
>
>
>

[Moonraker]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6JZJa.108881$Xl.2044685@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>> the only folks that i have been critical of, AND HIGHLY CRITICAL,(as are
alot of others) are those who, imo, can do
> great harm in here.
>
> --
> read and post daily, it works!
> rosie
>
>

So, yours is the way, the truth, and the light, eh?

Yesssireee, Bob. Everybody ought to want 'zactly what you got.

[debs]

I've stopped smoking and the only way I can do that is to remove everything
from the house. Just because one method worked for one addiction it doesn't
mean to say that I can apply that method for another

debs

--
Illegitimi non Carborundum
"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:b2YJa.108664$Xl.2040545@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
>
> "debs" <debs172@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:bd90e5$deu$1@sparta.btinternet.com...
> > I have spent the whole of my sober time with alcohol in the house. I
just
> > decided that it wasn't for me anymore.
>
>
> in my alcoholism, i decided alot of things, but didn't start recovery
until i learned to follow suggestions, and stop
> making my own decisions for awhile.
> for me, that meant removing all alcohol from the house for a time.
> i did the same thing when i quit smoking.
> all cigs, butts, lighters and ashtrays were removed.
>
> does that make me weak?
> don't know, don't care.
> i am a smoke free recovering alcoholic, and i went to any lengths to be
so!
>
> that is my experience, and it is not meant to be a comment on anyone
else's road to recovery!
>
> rosie
>
>

[rosie readandpost]

"debs" <debs172@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:bd9r8m$5im$1@hercules.btinternet.com...
> I've stopped smoking and the only way I can do that is to remove everything
> from the house. Just because one method worked for one addiction it doesn't
> mean to say that I can apply that method for another
>
> debs
>
>

WHATEVER WORKS for you deb, is what you should do.
it is through lots and lots of effort that i FINALLY found what works for me.

rosie

[Robert McGregor]

"rosie readandpost" <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote in message
news:w11Ka.148279$jT4.2635158@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> "debs" <debs172@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:bd9r8m$5im$1@hercules.btinternet.com...
> > I've stopped smoking and the only way I can do that is to remove
everything
> > from the house. Just because one method worked for one addiction it
doesn't
> > mean to say that I can apply that method for another
> >
> > debs
> >
> >
>
> WHATEVER WORKS for you deb, is what you should do.
> it is through lots and lots of effort that i FINALLY found what works for
me.
>
> rosie
>
>
"rosie@readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:<ZPSl5.19140$E05.340458@nntp0.chicago.il.ameritech. net>

>i am thinking about asking my pdoc to increase my celexa to
>60mg..........anyone else in here have good results with that dosage?
>my 40mg seems to be "pooping out"...........

[Blue Moon]

On Mon, 23 Jun 2003 20:23:15 -0500, "rosie readandpost"
<readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote:

> I can't avoid it because if my husband
>> wants it and if he doesn't get it, my life at this time could be much more difficult.
>>
>> JB

>even though he has offered to stop, many times?

JB is not in need of dealing with her husband's drinking issues. That
seems clear. It's only relevant to her sobriety if she's at risk from
drinking given her husband's actions. Only she can make that
decision, and she's already intimated more than once in this thread
that it's not an issue. Let's not make issues out of non-issues.

For myself, my ex- drank MORE when I quit drinking, and had MORE of
the stuff around her home. Only my own presence there whilst drinking
had restricted what she did when it came to booze. Given a decision
to go to ANY lengths to stay sober, I even avoided grape juice for a
while, so I certainly avoided any bottles in her place. I had no need
to try to control her choices whilst doing so.

It wasn't always easy. But it also wasn't always easy to have to walk
past the booze shelves in the local supermarket whilst doing my
regular grocery shopping. When they say "stay out of wet places", in
my case they're really referring to the supermarket and my own home.
So I had to recover despite a necessity of being in my own "wet
places". And I did. I really have no problem being in bars or liquor
stores at all, because I don't personally associate those places with
alcoholic drinking! So what's my point? Not all AA advice applies to
all AA people. If JB were to need Alanon, I'd say she should go to
Alanon, and not AA, for a problem with hubby's drinking. Given no
such problem, she just needs to focus on her own recovery, do whatever
she must, and let hubby do what he will.

--
Blue Moon

[rosie readandpost]

> > Blue Moon
>
> Thank you for intervening Blue Moon. I was beginning to tire of posts that focussed on my husband's
> drinking. I hope there will now be no more of them
>
> JB
>
>

i am sorry that you felt my posts were focusing on your husbands drinking. that was NOT my intent.
you were the one that brought up his offering to stop, and your the one who said that having to feed him his wine
wouldn't bother you.
my concern, was for you, NOT your husbands drinking.

congrats on your third week, btw!

rosie

[catsruleok]

"Blue Moon" <mfoco@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:cea313775e02950c720f0f893a6b46d9@free.teranew s.com...
> On Mon, 23 Jun 2003 20:23:15 -0500, "rosie readandpost"
> <readandpost@REMOVETHISyahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > I can't avoid it because if my husband
> >> wants it and if he doesn't get it, my life at this time could be much more difficult.
> >>
> >> JB
>
> >even though he has offered to stop, many times?
>
> JB is not in need of dealing with her husband's drinking issues. That
> seems clear. It's only relevant to her sobriety if she's at risk from
> drinking given her husband's actions. Only she can make that
> decision, and she's already intimated more than once in this thread
> that it's not an issue. Let's not make issues out of non-issues.


<snip>

> Blue Moon

Thank you for intervening Blue Moon. I was beginning to tire of posts that focussed on my husband's
drinking. I hope there will now be no more of them

JB