one week

[Ron]

I made it one week. I must admit, though, I'm still obsessing about
that bottle of Jagermeister I lost in the basement. In a straight line,
it has to be less than a few yards away from where I sit. What a bitch.
My wife has become (justifiably) paranoid about me going into the
basement now. So I can't go look for it. To dump it out or drink it,
as the case may be. Dump it is the plan... In my confession, I
mentioned the two empty bottles of brandy in the trash, but not the
Jagermeister. If she runs into it before I do, I'll have some
explaining to do.

I'm still really craving a drink. Obsessing. My stomach settled down
after a few days. Headaches, but three kids will do that to you anyway,
so who knows where that comes from.

I keep thinking this will be like quitting smoking. If I can tolerate
the withdrawal for a few weeks, it will get easier. And a few weeks
later, I'll hardly be thinking about it. And after that I'll just need
to be conciencious. I quit smoking for a year once. Then I thought I
could have one once in a while. My grandfather died, so having one or
two was justified, I told myself. Blammo. Several more years of
smoking.

I'm not doing that again. No cigs for me. Zippo.

I keep thinking about quitting smoking, because that's the only
comparison I know how to make. I'm sure this will be different, but I
don't know in what way yet...

I also saw the neighbors across the street for the first time since they
came over to watch the kids while I went to the hospital. They would
have gladly avoided the subject, but I had to at least say "thank you".
And I told them I realized I have a problem, and I'm working on it. I
shoveled their driveway. All the neighbors are great. My family is
great. That helps a lot. I don't think I'd have the willpower to stop
without them.

The simple fact that quitting is turning out to be so difficult really
underlines how important it is.

Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
occupied, I guess.

My other big accomplishment for the day was teaching the baby to say
"cha cha cha".

--
AB5DB9CC

[Blue Moon]

On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 03:02:11 GMT, Ron <can@the.spam> wrote:

>In my confession, I
>mentioned the two empty bottles of brandy in the trash, but not the
>Jagermeister. If she runs into it before I do, I'll have some
>explaining to do.

Why not mention it now? By hiding it, if she then discovers it
that'll be confirmation that you were hiding it, no? You could also
be obsessing over the hiding, projection of being discovered etc.

>The simple fact that quitting is turning out to be so difficult really
>underlines how important it is.

You've quit. The difficult bit is in staying stopped, right?

>Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
>occupied, I guess.

No harm in that :)

--
Blue Moon

[Robert McGregor]

"Ron" <can@the.spam> wrote in message
news:TKwAb.323710$ao4.1088694@attbi_s51...
>
> I keep thinking about quitting smoking, because that's the only
> comparison I know how to make. I'm sure this will be different, but I
> don't know in what way yet...
>

Why are you sure? Could it be in imminent self fulfilling prophecy? I've
heard lots of folks say quitting smokes is harder than quitting drinking, so
it could go either way, anyway.

Most seem to find, as I did, the "One day at a time" concept a great help.
Whether you thought so, or not, it was one day at a time you accomplished
the week you already have every right to be proud of.

Teaching the baby to say, "cha cha cha" sounds infinitely preferable to
sitting on a pity pot, slurring "blah, blah, blah."

Bob

[rosie read and post]

why not tell you wife about the Jagermeister and ask her help to
look for it..................
don't let that stuff bother you!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

"if the only prayer you say in your whole life is 'thank you,'
that would suffice."
................................................m eckhart, 1260-1328
http://www.moveon.org/






"Ron" <can@the.spam> wrote in message
news:TKwAb.323710$ao4.1088694@attbi_s51...
> I made it one week. I must admit, though, I'm still obsessing
about
> that bottle of Jagermeister I lost in the basement. In a straight
line,
> it has to be less than a few yards away from where I sit. What a
bitch.
> My wife has become (justifiably) paranoid about me going into the
> basement now. So I can't go look for it. To dump it out or drink
it,
> as the case may be. Dump it is the plan... In my confession, I
> mentioned the two empty bottles of brandy in the trash, but not
the
> Jagermeister. If she runs into it before I do, I'll have some
> explaining to do.
>
> I'm still really craving a drink. Obsessing. My stomach settled
down
> after a few days. Headaches, but three kids will do that to you
anyway,
> so who knows where that comes from.
>
> I keep thinking this will be like quitting smoking. If I can
tolerate
> the withdrawal for a few weeks, it will get easier. And a few
weeks
> later, I'll hardly be thinking about it. And after that I'll just
need
> to be conciencious. I quit smoking for a year once. Then I
thought I
> could have one once in a while. My grandfather died, so having
one or
> two was justified, I told myself. Blammo. Several more years of
> smoking.
>
> I'm not doing that again. No cigs for me. Zippo.
>
> I keep thinking about quitting smoking, because that's the only
> comparison I know how to make. I'm sure this will be different,
but I
> don't know in what way yet...
>
> I also saw the neighbors across the street for the first time
since they
> came over to watch the kids while I went to the hospital. They
would
> have gladly avoided the subject, but I had to at least say "thank
you".
> And I told them I realized I have a problem, and I'm working on
it. I
> shoveled their driveway. All the neighbors are great. My family
is
> great. That helps a lot. I don't think I'd have the willpower to
stop
> without them.
>
> The simple fact that quitting is turning out to be so difficult
really
> underlines how important it is.
>
> Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
> occupied, I guess.
>
> My other big accomplishment for the day was teaching the baby to
say
> "cha cha cha".
>
> --
> AB5DB9CC

[Bpyboy]

i'd fess up to the bottle too. I went away to work one morning, after about
10 "attempts" at moderating my drinking, and finally, before a long weekend had
my fiance give all the good stuff away (expensive vodka and stuff, for gifts),
and the cheap shit just to launch down the toilet.

I was kind of pissed that she did exactly that! and also that my secret hiding
places were known by her, most of my friends.....

Good job on the week though! keep it up chief!

[The Other Harry]

[On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 03:02:11 GMT, Ron <can@the.spam> wrote:]

> Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
> occupied, I guess.

It sounds to me like you are sort of working an equivalent of step
#1 -- admitting the problem to others. Talking about it.

The thing about the bottle in the basement amused me.

When I am not drinking, there is this thing I go thru about whether
there is any booze in the house that I could drink if I decided I
wanted to. It is one of those bizarre stages that I go thru.

It is actually easier for me not to drink if I know there booze that
I could drink. Logically, I know that I should pour it out.

But if there in no booze around, that actually exacerbates my
withdrawal problems. It makes me nervous/anxious for there to be no
booze in the house, even if I am not currently consuming it.

It's stupid. But that is how it goes for me.

[Blue Moon]

On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 00:25:43 -0500, The Other Harry
<hc.me@ix.netcom.com> wrote:

>[On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 03:02:11 GMT, Ron <can@the.spam> wrote:]
>
>> Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
>> occupied, I guess.
>
>It sounds to me like you are sort of working an equivalent of step
>#1 -- admitting the problem to others. Talking about it.

Step 1 doesn't mention admitting anything to anyone else.

>It is actually easier for me not to drink if I know there booze that
>I could drink. Logically, I know that I should pour it out.

Yeah, that leaves the option open to drink again. For a long time I
didn't really want to quit either - and so I didn't. Just kept
"trying to".

What was different in the end? I'm not sure. I just woke up to the
reality that I was going to die. Now, we're all going to die, but
this was not to be a sweet death surrounded by weeping loved ones, but
an alcoholic death surrounded by my own insanity. This realisation
was helped along by the chart at http://www.aamolly.org.uk/faq.htm

Yet even that alone was not enough for me to actually not drink. I
just came to realise that AA's Step 1 had been right all along. Damn
it. I quit fighting the booze. Maybe about 3 weeks later I found I
had to quit fighting life as well, and instead get on with doing
things the way of those who were successful. Much of it didn't make
sense at the time, but that's the nature of recovery - if it would
have immediately made sense to me, I'd have been doing it years ago
without any help at all.

--
Blue Moon

[The Other Harry]

[On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 07:49:26 GMT, Blue Moon <mfoco@hotmail.com>
wrote:]

> >It sounds to me like you are sort of working an equivalent of step
> >#1 -- admitting the problem to others. Talking about it.
>
> Step 1 doesn't mention admitting anything to anyone else.

I didn't say that it did.

But I don't think it is any coincidence that at AA meetings, the
first thing that happens is that you go around the table and say
something to the effect of, "My name is Harry and I'm an alcoholic."

"You don't just say, "My name is Harry." You publicly admit that
you have a drinking problem.

That is not step 1, but I see it as related to step 1. I think it
is one of the hurdles you need to cross. Why would they do that at
AA meetings otherwise?

Maybe next time I'll try saying, "My name is Harry, and I just
wandered in off the street."

[rosie read and post]

> > Step 1 doesn't mention admitting anything to anyone else.
>
> I didn't say that it did.
>
> But I don't think it is any coincidence that at AA meetings, the
> first thing that happens is that you go around the table and say
> something to the effect of, "My name is Harry and I'm an
alcoholic."
>
> "You don't just say, "My name is Harry." You publicly admit that
> you have a drinking problem.
>
> That is not step 1, but I see it as related to step 1. I think it
> is one of the hurdles you need to cross. Why would they do that
at
> AA meetings otherwise?



actually harry, imo, your correct!
admitting your powerless to no one but yourself, is something that
many do, over and over, before even STARTING the process of
recovery.......................when we get into recovery, a big part
of it, is "talking to another human being" and getting out of our
heads, where we tend to tell ourselves, LESS THAN the truth.


just continue to introduce yourself as an
alcoholic......................"its a good thing"!
;)

[Blue Moon]

On Sun, 07 Dec 2003 04:30:38 -0500, The Other Harry
<hc.me@ix.netcom.com> wrote:

>"You don't just say, "My name is Harry." You publicly admit that
>you have a drinking problem.

Well, I wouldn't call an AA meeting "public" as such, though to a
newcomer it can perhaps feel that way. And many of those who use the
phrase don't seem to have a clue what it means beyond "got drunk"
anyway. There's more to being alcoholic than getting drunk, or even
drinking into the grave.

>That is not step 1, but I see it as related to step 1. I think it
>is one of the hurdles you need to cross. Why would they do that at
>AA meetings otherwise?

It's much simpler than that. The idea is to instill a sense of unity
and purpose among those in the meeting. Of those who say "I'm an
alcoholic/addict" they tend to eventually drop the "addict" bit as
they recover and grow to realise AA is talking about alcohol so they
can just be keeping themselves "different". Know anyone who thinks
"my case is different"? It's a very common trait with us.

>Maybe next time I'll try saying, "My name is Harry, and I just
>wandered in off the street."

That would be fine. Many newcomers say "I'm Bill (or whatever)" then
"and I'm new" or "I'm just visiting". "I'm just visiting" can also
apply to those who attend open meetings to check out the fellowship
yet have no problem with booze. "I just wandered in off the street"
is arguably much more honest than a self-declaration to have a
condition that's not even understood by the person speaking.

--
Blue Moon

[LeAnne Williams]

Keep it up Ron... you'll make it!
"Ron" <can@the.spam> wrote in message
news:TKwAb.323710$ao4.1088694@attbi_s51...
> I made it one week. I must admit, though, I'm still obsessing about
> that bottle of Jagermeister I lost in the basement. In a straight line,
> it has to be less than a few yards away from where I sit. What a bitch.
> My wife has become (justifiably) paranoid about me going into the
> basement now. So I can't go look for it. To dump it out or drink it,
> as the case may be. Dump it is the plan... In my confession, I
> mentioned the two empty bottles of brandy in the trash, but not the
> Jagermeister. If she runs into it before I do, I'll have some
> explaining to do.
>
> I'm still really craving a drink. Obsessing. My stomach settled down
> after a few days. Headaches, but three kids will do that to you anyway,
> so who knows where that comes from.
>
> I keep thinking this will be like quitting smoking. If I can tolerate
> the withdrawal for a few weeks, it will get easier. And a few weeks
> later, I'll hardly be thinking about it. And after that I'll just need
> to be conciencious. I quit smoking for a year once. Then I thought I
> could have one once in a while. My grandfather died, so having one or
> two was justified, I told myself. Blammo. Several more years of
> smoking.
>
> I'm not doing that again. No cigs for me. Zippo.
>
> I keep thinking about quitting smoking, because that's the only
> comparison I know how to make. I'm sure this will be different, but I
> don't know in what way yet...
>
> I also saw the neighbors across the street for the first time since they
> came over to watch the kids while I went to the hospital. They would
> have gladly avoided the subject, but I had to at least say "thank you".
> And I told them I realized I have a problem, and I'm working on it. I
> shoveled their driveway. All the neighbors are great. My family is
> great. That helps a lot. I don't think I'd have the willpower to stop
> without them.
>
> The simple fact that quitting is turning out to be so difficult really
> underlines how important it is.
>
> Why am I posting all this blather to usenet? I dunno. Keeps me
> occupied, I guess.
>
> My other big accomplishment for the day was teaching the baby to say
> "cha cha cha".
>
> --
> AB5DB9CC