Buddy H.
06-26-2003, 08:30 PM
Narcissistic Allocation
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq44.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
What is the mechanism behind the cycles of over-valuation and
devaluation in the Narcissist's life?
Answer:
Cycles of over-valuation (idealisation) followed by devaluation
characterise many personality disorders (they are even more
typical of Borderline PD than of NPD, for example). They reflect
the need to be secure, protected against the vicious and
capricious whims of others, shielded from the hurt that they can
inflict. Such a shield is constructed from the mercurial twin
substances of idealisation and disillusionment.
Let us be clearer. The ultimate and only emotional need of the
narcissist is to be the subject of adulation and, thus, to support
his volatile self-esteem. In this very important sense, the
narcissist is dependent on others for the performance of critical
Ego functions. While to healthier people, a disappointment or a
disillusionment are nothing but these – to the narcissist they are
the difference between Being and Nothingness. The quality and
reliability of the Narcissistic Supply are, therefore, of
paramount importance. The more the narcissist convinces himself
that his sources are perfect, grand, comprehensive, authoritative,
omniscient, omnipotent, beautiful, powerful, rich and so on – the
better he feels. The narcissist has to idealise his Supply Sources
in order to value the supply that he derives from them. This leads
to over-valuation and results in the formation of an unrealistic
picture of others.
The fall is inevitable. Disillusionment and disappointment ensue.
The slightest criticism, disagreement, shades of opinion – are
interpreted by the narcissist as an all out assault against his
very existence. The previous appraisal is sharply reversed. For
example: the same people are judged stupid who were previously
deemed to possess genius. This is the devaluation part of the
cycle – and it is very painful both to the narcissist and to the
devalued (for very different reasons, of course). The narcissist
mourns the loss of a promising "investment opportunity" (=Source
of Narcissistic Supply). Conversely, the "investment opportunity"
mourns the loss of the narcissist.
But what is the mechanism BEHIND the mechanism? What drives the
narcissist to such extremes? Why was no better (at least more
efficient) coping technique developed by narcissists hitherto?
The answer is that the over-valuation-devaluation mechanism IS the
most efficient one available to the narcissist. To understand why,
one needs to take stock of his energy, or, rather, of the lack of
it.
The narcissist's personality is a precariously balanced affair and
it requires inordinate amounts of energy to maintain and to
sustain it. So overwhelmingly dependent on the environment for
mental sustenance, the narcissist must optimise (rather, maximise)
the use of the scarce resources at his disposal. Not an iota of
effort, time and emotion must be wasted lest the narcissist finds
his emotional balance severely upset. The narcissist attains this
goal by sudden and violent shifts between foci of attention. This
is a highly efficacious mechanism of allocation of resources in
constant pursuit of the highest available emotional yields.
After emitting a narcissistic signal (see previous FAQ), the
narcissist receives a host of narcissistic stimuli. The latter
are, simply, messages from people who are willing to collaborate
with the narcissist in providing him with Narcissistic Supply. But
mere readiness is not sufficient. The narcissist now faces the
daunting task of evaluating the potential content of Narcissistic
Supply of each and every one of the stimuli (=the potentials
collaborators). He does so by attaching a narcissistic rating to
each one of them. The stimulus with the highest rating is,
naturally, selected. It offers "the best value for money", the
most cost efficient proposition. The narcissist immediately
over-values and idealises it. This is the narcissistic equivalent
of getting emotionally attached and of bonding. The narcissist
feels attracted, interested, curious, magically rewarded,
reawakened. Healthier people recognise this phenomenon: it is
called "falling in love". To remove doubt: the Source of
Narcissistic Supply thus elevated need not be an individual. The
narcissist is equally interested in inanimate objects (=status
symbols), in groups of people, and even abstracts (“history”, for
instance). Anything goes as long as it can provide Narcissistic
Supply. The narcissist is not choosy.
A process of courting then commences. The narcissist knows how to
charm, how to simulate emotions, how to flatter. Many of the
narcissists are gifted actors, having played the role of their
False Self for so long. They wine the targeted Supply Source
(whether Primary or Secondary) and dine it. They compliment and
flatter, always present, forever interested. Their genuine and
keen (though selfish) immersion in the other, their overt high
regard for him or her (a result of the idealisation), their almost
submissiveness – are alluring. It is nigh impossible to resist a
narcissist in the right mood of hunting for his sources. At this
stage, his energies are all focused and dedicated to the task.
During this stage of narcissistic courting or narcissistic
pursuit, the narcissist is full of vitality, of dreams and hopes
and plans and vision. And his energy is not dissipated: he
resembles a laser beam. He attempts (and in many cases, succeeds
to achieve) the impossible. If he targeted a publishing house, or
a magazine, as his future source of supply (by publishing his
work) – he authors incredible amounts of material in a short
period of time. If it is a potential mate, he floods her with
attention, gifts and inventive gestures. If it is a group of
people that he wishes to impress, he identifies with their goals
and beliefs to the point of ridicule and discomfort. The
narcissist, as opposed to a mere mortal, has the frightening
capacity to turn himself into a weapon: focused, powerful, and
lethal. He lavishes ALL his energies, capabilities, talents,
charms and emotions on the newly selected source of supply. This
has a great effect on the intended source and on the narcissist.
This also serves to maximise the narcissist's returns in the short
run.
Once the source of supply is captured, preyed upon and depleted,
the reverse process (of devaluation) sets in. The narcissist
instantaneously (and startlingly abruptly) loses ALL interest in
his former (and now useless or judged to be so) Source of
Narcissistic Supply. He becomes bored, lazy, slow, devoid of
energy, absolutely disinterested. He already withdrew his energies
in the preparation for the attack on, and the siege of, the next
selected source of supply.
These tectonic shifts are hard to contemplate, still harder to
believe.
The narcissist has no genuine interests. He likes to do what
yields the most Narcissistic Supply. A narcissist can be a gifted
artist for as long as his art rewards him with fame and adulation.
Once public interest wanes, or once criticism mounts – so does the
narcissist's interest wane and his criticism of his vocation
mount. He then immediately ceases to create and does not miss his
old vocation for a second.
The narcissist has no genuine emotions. He can be madly in "love"
with a woman (=Secondary Narcissistic Supply Source) because she
is famous/she has money/she admires him/she is a native and he is
an immigrant/she comes from the right family/she is unique in a
manner positively reflecting on the narcissist's perceived
uniqueness/she remembers past successes of the narcissist. Yet,
this “love” disappears immediately when her usefulness runs its
course or when a better "qualified" source of supply presents
herself.
The over-valuation and devaluation cycles are mere reflections and
derivatives of these ups and downs of energy. Efficient (=abrupt)
shifting of energy is more typical of machinery than of human
beings. The narcissist retains this "metallic" strand in him and
it is felt (though rarely articulated) by his victims. The
narcissist is a three dimensional video game and is always on the
hunt for an elusive type of supply: the more he has of it, the
more he craves it.
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq44.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
What is the mechanism behind the cycles of over-valuation and
devaluation in the Narcissist's life?
Answer:
Cycles of over-valuation (idealisation) followed by devaluation
characterise many personality disorders (they are even more
typical of Borderline PD than of NPD, for example). They reflect
the need to be secure, protected against the vicious and
capricious whims of others, shielded from the hurt that they can
inflict. Such a shield is constructed from the mercurial twin
substances of idealisation and disillusionment.
Let us be clearer. The ultimate and only emotional need of the
narcissist is to be the subject of adulation and, thus, to support
his volatile self-esteem. In this very important sense, the
narcissist is dependent on others for the performance of critical
Ego functions. While to healthier people, a disappointment or a
disillusionment are nothing but these – to the narcissist they are
the difference between Being and Nothingness. The quality and
reliability of the Narcissistic Supply are, therefore, of
paramount importance. The more the narcissist convinces himself
that his sources are perfect, grand, comprehensive, authoritative,
omniscient, omnipotent, beautiful, powerful, rich and so on – the
better he feels. The narcissist has to idealise his Supply Sources
in order to value the supply that he derives from them. This leads
to over-valuation and results in the formation of an unrealistic
picture of others.
The fall is inevitable. Disillusionment and disappointment ensue.
The slightest criticism, disagreement, shades of opinion – are
interpreted by the narcissist as an all out assault against his
very existence. The previous appraisal is sharply reversed. For
example: the same people are judged stupid who were previously
deemed to possess genius. This is the devaluation part of the
cycle – and it is very painful both to the narcissist and to the
devalued (for very different reasons, of course). The narcissist
mourns the loss of a promising "investment opportunity" (=Source
of Narcissistic Supply). Conversely, the "investment opportunity"
mourns the loss of the narcissist.
But what is the mechanism BEHIND the mechanism? What drives the
narcissist to such extremes? Why was no better (at least more
efficient) coping technique developed by narcissists hitherto?
The answer is that the over-valuation-devaluation mechanism IS the
most efficient one available to the narcissist. To understand why,
one needs to take stock of his energy, or, rather, of the lack of
it.
The narcissist's personality is a precariously balanced affair and
it requires inordinate amounts of energy to maintain and to
sustain it. So overwhelmingly dependent on the environment for
mental sustenance, the narcissist must optimise (rather, maximise)
the use of the scarce resources at his disposal. Not an iota of
effort, time and emotion must be wasted lest the narcissist finds
his emotional balance severely upset. The narcissist attains this
goal by sudden and violent shifts between foci of attention. This
is a highly efficacious mechanism of allocation of resources in
constant pursuit of the highest available emotional yields.
After emitting a narcissistic signal (see previous FAQ), the
narcissist receives a host of narcissistic stimuli. The latter
are, simply, messages from people who are willing to collaborate
with the narcissist in providing him with Narcissistic Supply. But
mere readiness is not sufficient. The narcissist now faces the
daunting task of evaluating the potential content of Narcissistic
Supply of each and every one of the stimuli (=the potentials
collaborators). He does so by attaching a narcissistic rating to
each one of them. The stimulus with the highest rating is,
naturally, selected. It offers "the best value for money", the
most cost efficient proposition. The narcissist immediately
over-values and idealises it. This is the narcissistic equivalent
of getting emotionally attached and of bonding. The narcissist
feels attracted, interested, curious, magically rewarded,
reawakened. Healthier people recognise this phenomenon: it is
called "falling in love". To remove doubt: the Source of
Narcissistic Supply thus elevated need not be an individual. The
narcissist is equally interested in inanimate objects (=status
symbols), in groups of people, and even abstracts (“history”, for
instance). Anything goes as long as it can provide Narcissistic
Supply. The narcissist is not choosy.
A process of courting then commences. The narcissist knows how to
charm, how to simulate emotions, how to flatter. Many of the
narcissists are gifted actors, having played the role of their
False Self for so long. They wine the targeted Supply Source
(whether Primary or Secondary) and dine it. They compliment and
flatter, always present, forever interested. Their genuine and
keen (though selfish) immersion in the other, their overt high
regard for him or her (a result of the idealisation), their almost
submissiveness – are alluring. It is nigh impossible to resist a
narcissist in the right mood of hunting for his sources. At this
stage, his energies are all focused and dedicated to the task.
During this stage of narcissistic courting or narcissistic
pursuit, the narcissist is full of vitality, of dreams and hopes
and plans and vision. And his energy is not dissipated: he
resembles a laser beam. He attempts (and in many cases, succeeds
to achieve) the impossible. If he targeted a publishing house, or
a magazine, as his future source of supply (by publishing his
work) – he authors incredible amounts of material in a short
period of time. If it is a potential mate, he floods her with
attention, gifts and inventive gestures. If it is a group of
people that he wishes to impress, he identifies with their goals
and beliefs to the point of ridicule and discomfort. The
narcissist, as opposed to a mere mortal, has the frightening
capacity to turn himself into a weapon: focused, powerful, and
lethal. He lavishes ALL his energies, capabilities, talents,
charms and emotions on the newly selected source of supply. This
has a great effect on the intended source and on the narcissist.
This also serves to maximise the narcissist's returns in the short
run.
Once the source of supply is captured, preyed upon and depleted,
the reverse process (of devaluation) sets in. The narcissist
instantaneously (and startlingly abruptly) loses ALL interest in
his former (and now useless or judged to be so) Source of
Narcissistic Supply. He becomes bored, lazy, slow, devoid of
energy, absolutely disinterested. He already withdrew his energies
in the preparation for the attack on, and the siege of, the next
selected source of supply.
These tectonic shifts are hard to contemplate, still harder to
believe.
The narcissist has no genuine interests. He likes to do what
yields the most Narcissistic Supply. A narcissist can be a gifted
artist for as long as his art rewards him with fame and adulation.
Once public interest wanes, or once criticism mounts – so does the
narcissist's interest wane and his criticism of his vocation
mount. He then immediately ceases to create and does not miss his
old vocation for a second.
The narcissist has no genuine emotions. He can be madly in "love"
with a woman (=Secondary Narcissistic Supply Source) because she
is famous/she has money/she admires him/she is a native and he is
an immigrant/she comes from the right family/she is unique in a
manner positively reflecting on the narcissist's perceived
uniqueness/she remembers past successes of the narcissist. Yet,
this “love” disappears immediately when her usefulness runs its
course or when a better "qualified" source of supply presents
herself.
The over-valuation and devaluation cycles are mere reflections and
derivatives of these ups and downs of energy. Efficient (=abrupt)
shifting of energy is more typical of machinery than of human
beings. The narcissist retains this "metallic" strand in him and
it is felt (though rarely articulated) by his victims. The
narcissist is a three dimensional video game and is always on the
hunt for an elusive type of supply: the more he has of it, the
more he craves it.