question I need suggestion

[Mike D]

A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and has
a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every night).
We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place to
go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
employment problems.
Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has been
drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within two
weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very little
in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick of
his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out his
housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
being thrown out of our house?Mike

[DaveB]

On Fri, 3 Aug 2007 12:17:18 -0400, "Mike D" <mikdan7@comcast.net>
wrote:

>A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
>evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
>basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and has
>a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every night).
>We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place to
>go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
>house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
>employment problems.
> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has been
>drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
>drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within two
>weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very little
>in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
>drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
>someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick of
>his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out his
>housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
>being thrown out of our house?Mike
>
>Of Course you throw him out! nowwwwww

Daveb

[Another Cultist Subliminal Message from AA: Boo]

On Aug 3, 11:17 am, "Mike D" <mikd...@comcast.net> wrote:
> go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
> house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
> employment problems.
>
>Would he be deserving of
> being thrown out of our house?Mike

No Mike.

You should let him stay, ruin your house, steal your money,
eat your food you pay for, wash his clothes using your utilities,
clean his diarrhea stained shit from the toilet, let him use
your toilet paper to wipe his ass, and continue to walk around
your living space trying to figure out why in fuck he
treats you this way as a *friend* and what you did to him
to deserve this.

I know it is hard.

Peace.

[Jon G.]

You should throw yourself out of your own house, for letting him move in in
the first place.

Fatal error.

[Joe Jared]

On Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:17:18 -0400, Mike D wrote:

> A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
> evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
> basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and has
> a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every night).
> We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place to
> go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
> house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
> employment problems.

If you're going to help an alcoholic, don't kill them with kindness. No
drinking means no drinking, and no compromise.

> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has been
> drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
> drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within two
> weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very little
> in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
> drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
> someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick of
> his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out his
> housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
> being thrown out of our house?Mike

He might have to have no where else to go to get better. Don't let him
mind fuck you. If you're putting a roof over his head, do you really
think you're helping him?


--
http://www.oretek.com

[ErickaTheDane]

On Aug 3, 11:17 am, "Mike D" <mikd...@comcast.net> wrote:
> A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
> evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
> basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and has
> a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every night).
> We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place to
> go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
> house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
> employment problems.
> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has been
> drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
> drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within two
> weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very little
> in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
> drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
> someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick of
> his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out his
> housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
> being thrown out of our house?Mike

Mike, you need to let the friend fall and hit his bottom, but tell him
that when he is ready to seek help for his drinking problem, you will
be more than willing to transport him to a treatment center. There
are many out there that are run by the state and cost nothing.
Contact your local Mental health department and find out where so that
he has a viable option. There are plenty of programs for people
willing to help themselves, but if you allow him to stay, he will
continue to act that way...or get worse. Make sure you change your
locks if you ever gave him a key.....I know, I was there where he is
now over 3 years ago.

[Another Cultist Subliminal Message from AA: Boo]

> Mental health department and find out where so that
> he has a viable option. There are plenty of programs for people
>

Yeah. Jail !

Program plan: Lose job,
family,
home,
Room at city jail,
Move upstream to county jail,
Then enter the big show at state jail.

Typically the program keeps looping after step 4 or 5 for most.

Really .. how many States (or cities)
even sponsor rehabs for people as a health issue ?
That is way gone.

Self funded support groups (AA, Church) are about it.

[akashmishra2@gmail.com]

On Aug 3, 9:17 pm, "Mike D" <mikd...@comcast.net> wrote:
> A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
> evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
> basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and has
> a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every night).
> We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place to
> go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
> house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems and
> employment problems.
> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has been
> drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
> drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within two
> weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very little
> in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
> drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
> someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick of
> his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out his
> housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
> being thrown out of our house?Mike

[Mike D]

Well, if we put him out of the street with no place to go, is THAT going to
help him? His brother died (was murdered)after receiving similar treatment
about twelve years ago. Mike.
"Joe Jared" <joejared@osirusoft.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2007.08.07.08.55.23.954434@osirusoft.com. ..
> On Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:17:18 -0400, Mike D wrote:
>
>> A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after being
>> evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two years, has
>> basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length of time, and
>> has
>> a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is almost every
>> night).
>> We were not going to let him stay with us,. but he literally had no place
>> to
>> go, and we let him in on the understanding of no drinking(at least in our
>> house) and that he was going to set about fixing his financial problems
>> and
>> employment problems.
>
> If you're going to help an alcoholic, don't kill them with kindness. No
> drinking means no drinking, and no compromise.
>
>> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has
>> been
>> drunk almost daily(he goes out for a 'walk' and comes back in five hours
>> drunk). and he has gotten a job from which he got a suspension within
>> two
>> weeks, and he is probably soon to lose that job. Also, he helps very
>> little
>> in the way of housework and annoys my brother and I every time he is
>> drunk.The man still has no place to go, but we (and everyone else who
>> someone might expect him to be able to seek help from)are basically sick
>> of
>> his presence. He also has done very little or nothing to straighten out
>> his
>> housing arrangement problems.What should we do? Would he be deserving of
>> being thrown out of our house?Mike
>
> He might have to have no where else to go to get better. Don't let him
> mind fuck you. If you're putting a roof over his head, do you really
> think you're helping him?
>
>
> --
> http://www.oretek.com
>

[Mike D]

the guy will not set foot in a AA room. As far as free treatment centers,
the onlt place he can go if he is tossed out of our house is to a homeless
shelter. there are no walk in treatment centers that I have ever heard of.
Mike.
"Another Cultist Subliminal Message from AA: Boo" <smappersmapper@yahoo.com>
wrote in message
news:1186544237.560983.135810@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
>
>> Mental health department and find out where so that
>> he has a viable option. There are plenty of programs for people
>>
>
> Yeah. Jail !
>
> Program plan: Lose job,
> family,
> home,
> Room at city jail,
> Move upstream to county jail,
> Then enter the big show at state jail.
>
> Typically the program keeps looping after step 4 or 5 for most.
>
> Really .. how many States (or cities)
> even sponsor rehabs for people as a health issue ?
> That is way gone.
>
> Self funded support groups (AA, Church) are about it.
>
>
>
>

[GILL]

Mike D wrote:
> the guy will not set foot in a AA room. As far as free treatment centers,
> the onlt place he can go if he is tossed out of our house is to a homeless
> shelter. there are no walk in treatment centers that I have ever heard of.
> Mike.
> "Another Cultist Subliminal Message from AA: Boo" <smappersmapper@yahoo.com>
> wrote in message
> news:1186544237.560983.135810@q75g2000hsh.googlegr oups.com...
>>> Mental health department and find out where so that
>>> he has a viable option. There are plenty of programs for people
>>>
>> Yeah. Jail !
>>
>> Program plan: Lose job,
>> family,
>> home,
>> Room at city jail,
>> Move upstream to county jail,
>> Then enter the big show at state jail.
>>
>> Typically the program keeps looping after step 4 or 5 for most.
>>
>> Really .. how many States (or cities)
>> even sponsor rehabs for people as a health issue ?
>> That is way gone.
>>
>> Self funded support groups (AA, Church) are about it.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>


What are you looking for, a magic pill? Have you heard of any cure for
alcoholism? I would think that should make the headlines all around the
world.
You basically invited him in to your home to drag you down, unless he
stops now! Your not responsible for him, so tell him ZERO drinks or get
out.

[Christine]

Mike D - hi - you can NOT feel responsible for fixing your friends
problem (being an alcoholic). You can, however, fix YOUR problem.
There is nothing you can do for your dear friend except to tell him
you will be there for him, IF he seeks help and tries to get his life
on track. You seem invested, so I can only suggest Alanon for you...
and if you read that and think "well, it's not MY problem", look at
your situation. IT very much IS your problem if you have a drunk
living with you and you care about him.

Try a meeting or two - they may be able to help you more than we can
here. You certainly will find strength and support to get him out of
your house.

I hope the best for you
Christine

[Joe Jared]

On Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:26:58 -0400, Mike D wrote:

I suppose it's a balance. If you can handle your suffering as you watch
him slowly kill himself, and if you think you can save him, be a captain
save a ho. It probably wont work though, and actually isn't working, is
it? If you mean well, and put up with any unhealthy behavior, you're not
helping. You're just putting a roof over his head, and again, killing him
with kindness. As for his brother, he was probably murdered in response
to something he did. People generally don't wake up one morning and say,
"I think I'm gonna fund some drunk and wax him".

I've tried to work with several people, and invariably, I wound up
removing them from my home. In one case, about 4 months later, he fell
down a hill adjacent to AA central office and died, drunk. Nothing I
could have done would have been in any way helpful to him. He wasn't done.

> Well, if we put him out of the street with no place to go, is THAT going to
> help him? His brother died (was murdered)after receiving similar treatment
> about twelve years ago. Mike.

>> He might have to have no where else to go to get better. Don't let him
>> mind fuck you. If you're putting a roof over his head, do you really
>> think you're helping him?
>>
>>
>> --
>> http://www.oretek.com
>>

--
http://www.oretek.com

[Mike D]

>>
>>
>
>
> What are you looking for, a magic pill? Have you heard of any cure for
> alcoholism? I would think that should make the headlines all around the
> world.
> You basically invited him in to your home to drag you down, unless he
> stops now! Your not responsible for him, so tell him ZERO drinks or get
> out.



I believe you are right. mike.
">>> >>>
>>>

[Chuggle]

I have been sober 18 years...even if it was my kid I would kick his ass
out, people need to be responsible. There is no easy softer way for an
alchoholic. I know others may disagree but his life is not your
resposibility....
Gerry

"Mike D" <mikdan7@comcast.net> wrote in
news:jfSdnQ1Rf52SyC7bnZ2dnUVZ_gCdnZ2d@comcast.com:

> A friend of ours(my brother and I) showed up on our doorstep after
> being evicted from his home. He is 40 yrs old, hasn't worked in two
> years, has basically never been suyccessfully employed for any length
> of time, and has a bad obnoxiousness problem when he is drunk(which is
> almost every night). We were not going to let him stay with us,. but
> he literally had no place to go, and we let him in on the
> understanding of no drinking(at least in our house) and that he was
> going to set about fixing his financial problems and employment
> problems.
> Since then he hasoften tried to sneak beer into them house, he has
>