stuart
10-15-2003, 08:47 AM
"DBeeCooper" <dbeecooper@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031012093208.29227.00000934@mb-m06.aol.com...
> This is a plea for help in trying to understand alcoholics. I am in love
with
> a man that I have been seeing for about a year now. We were involved with
one
> another many years ago. He is in recovery, one year sober. Recently I
noticed
> he was getting quite close to me. It was wonderful. I started to let my
guard
> down, and feel quite comfortable. Then out of the blue, wham ... like a
> baseball bat to the side of my head, he tells me that he met someone on
the
> internet. ??? The person he "met" however is in Europe. He told me that
> perhaps relationships on the internet were the only kind of relationships
he
> could handle. I have read everything the internet has to offer on
commitment
> phobics etc., and alcoholism. Just looking for a little validation here
from
> someone who has been there, done that. My gut feeling is he is freaked
out
> because he felt himself getting closer to me and he couldn't handle it.
He
> told me (when he told me about the internet person) that I was "too
> vulnerable". ??? I would appreciate any words of advice anyone had to
offer.
> Thanks.
I wonder if his father was a drinker? Did he spend a lot of his childhood
listening to his mother's painful soliloquies?
He may find it difficult to get close to female angst if he sees committing
himself to a lifetime of listening to pain, whining and snivelling from a
woman (not suggesting you might be that way) but he may fear getting close
to someone who resembles his mother.
Ask him about his growing up years.
news:20031012093208.29227.00000934@mb-m06.aol.com...
> This is a plea for help in trying to understand alcoholics. I am in love
with
> a man that I have been seeing for about a year now. We were involved with
one
> another many years ago. He is in recovery, one year sober. Recently I
noticed
> he was getting quite close to me. It was wonderful. I started to let my
guard
> down, and feel quite comfortable. Then out of the blue, wham ... like a
> baseball bat to the side of my head, he tells me that he met someone on
the
> internet. ??? The person he "met" however is in Europe. He told me that
> perhaps relationships on the internet were the only kind of relationships
he
> could handle. I have read everything the internet has to offer on
commitment
> phobics etc., and alcoholism. Just looking for a little validation here
from
> someone who has been there, done that. My gut feeling is he is freaked
out
> because he felt himself getting closer to me and he couldn't handle it.
He
> told me (when he told me about the internet person) that I was "too
> vulnerable". ??? I would appreciate any words of advice anyone had to
offer.
> Thanks.
I wonder if his father was a drinker? Did he spend a lot of his childhood
listening to his mother's painful soliloquies?
He may find it difficult to get close to female angst if he sees committing
himself to a lifetime of listening to pain, whining and snivelling from a
woman (not suggesting you might be that way) but he may fear getting close
to someone who resembles his mother.
Ask him about his growing up years.