Why I quit...

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

I guess I could say that those around me are going through more pain
than me and that is why I quit drinking. I don't want to end up like
them. I think for a good portion of my life I have cared what people
think of me and I think this is why I drank the way I did. I didn't care
but I did care and it tore me up inside. The best way for me to deal
with it was to drink, and drink some more. When I was 19, I got caught
up in the law because of drinking. I was drinking every night. I did it
because everyone I knew was drinking. I guess you could say peer
pressure was hip! Long story short, I was at a party, the party got out
of hand, I had drank way too much, I left the party and headed for home.
I didn't make it home. In fact, I ended up shutting down the whole east
end of town because I got into an accident. I thought I was a hot shot,
so I pulled out into traffic, fish-tailed it and then that's where I
lost control and smashed three different cars as they were all waiting
on a red light. As the smoke cleared, I heard a knock at the window and
there were three guys trying to hold one guy back from killing me. He
had a shot gun and he was ready to use it. The scene was a mess and
there was one woman injured due to my jack-ass stunt that I pulled. I
feel ashamed about it to this day and I will for the rest of my life.

Not too long ago, I was at a party and the same thing almost happened.
Things got out of hand and I ended up leaving the party half lit.
Luckily, this was a night that the local cops here decided not to be on
patrol and I made it home. I sat up that night shivering and shaking and
I did not get one ounce of sleep. Nor did I get any sleep the next night
and the whole next day after that party I sat here alone in my room
thinking, thinking, thinking, contemplating, pacing the floor, thinking
some more, pacing, thinking, and scaring myself sober. What if I end up
caught up in the law again? I could lose my license, I could lose my
job, I would end up having to go to court, I'd have fines to pay, I
could lose everything. I would succumb to alcohol. I don't want that!

Now, I look around! I see my friends (who I now somewhat look at as
former drinking buddies) and how they're causing their own problems
because they're always drunk. I see my father, who is an alcoholic,
slowly deteriorating in his days of retirement. I lost a friend because
he has a problem with the fact that I quit drinking. This is a friend
who I feel I showed too much patience for. I know another guy who likes
to blame everything on the world because the world doesn't work the way
he feels it should work. Do you know where that attitude comes from?
Alcohol!

I do not want this anymore! I want to live life! I want to be able to
jump in my car anytime I want and take a road trip! I don't necessarily
want to visit anyone, I just want to take a trip anywhere I feel like! I
want my freedom! I don't want to end up in a situation where I could end
up living where I'm living now for the rest of my life and paying fines
until I'm 70 years old! What fun is that? I don't want to end up like my
Dad! God bless him, I love him, but I'll be damned if I'm going down
that road! I want to be able to meet new people, see new things, DO new
things, live life to the fullest and not live as if tomorrow will never
come!

Well, I hope this explains what got me sober! I look forward to sharing
more with you and getting to know more of you!

Happy life and health to all of you!

Monty

[Melissa]

Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
> I guess I could say that those around me are going through more pain
> than me and that is why I quit drinking. I don't want to end up like
> them. I think for a good portion of my life I have cared what people
> think of me and I think this is why I drank the way I did. I didn't care
> but I did care and it tore me up inside. The best way for me to deal
> with it was to drink, and drink some more. When I was 19, I got caught
> up in the law because of drinking. I was drinking every night. I did it
> because everyone I knew was drinking. I guess you could say peer
> pressure was hip! Long story short, I was at a party, the party got out
> of hand, I had drank way too much, I left the party and headed for home.
> I didn't make it home. In fact, I ended up shutting down the whole east
> end of town because I got into an accident. I thought I was a hot shot,
> so I pulled out into traffic, fish-tailed it and then that's where I
> lost control and smashed three different cars as they were all waiting
> on a red light. As the smoke cleared, I heard a knock at the window and
> there were three guys trying to hold one guy back from killing me. He
> had a shot gun and he was ready to use it. The scene was a mess and
> there was one woman injured due to my jack-ass stunt that I pulled. I
> feel ashamed about it to this day and I will for the rest of my life.
>
> Not too long ago, I was at a party and the same thing almost happened.
> Things got out of hand and I ended up leaving the party half lit.
> Luckily, this was a night that the local cops here decided not to be on
> patrol and I made it home. I sat up that night shivering and shaking and
> I did not get one ounce of sleep. Nor did I get any sleep the next night
> and the whole next day after that party I sat here alone in my room
> thinking, thinking, thinking, contemplating, pacing the floor, thinking
> some more, pacing, thinking, and scaring myself sober. What if I end up
> caught up in the law again? I could lose my license, I could lose my
> job, I would end up having to go to court, I'd have fines to pay, I
> could lose everything. I would succumb to alcohol. I don't want that!
>
> Now, I look around! I see my friends (who I now somewhat look at as
> former drinking buddies) and how they're causing their own problems
> because they're always drunk. I see my father, who is an alcoholic,
> slowly deteriorating in his days of retirement. I lost a friend because
> he has a problem with the fact that I quit drinking. This is a friend
> who I feel I showed too much patience for. I know another guy who likes
> to blame everything on the world because the world doesn't work the way
> he feels it should work. Do you know where that attitude comes from?
> Alcohol!
>
> I do not want this anymore! I want to live life! I want to be able to
> jump in my car anytime I want and take a road trip! I don't necessarily
> want to visit anyone, I just want to take a trip anywhere I feel like! I
> want my freedom! I don't want to end up in a situation where I could end
> up living where I'm living now for the rest of my life and paying fines
> until I'm 70 years old! What fun is that? I don't want to end up like my
> Dad! God bless him, I love him, but I'll be damned if I'm going down
> that road! I want to be able to meet new people, see new things, DO new
> things, live life to the fullest and not live as if tomorrow will never
> come!
>
> Well, I hope this explains what got me sober! I look forward to sharing
> more with you and getting to know more of you!
>
> Happy life and health to all of you!
>
> Monty

Well Monty, looks like you've had a few wake up call and i comend you
for making the decision to quit b4 something worse happenes in your
life. Nobody has the same bottom (or turning point in their using) but
that is not neccessary, "the only requirment for membership is a desire
to quit drinking" thus you qualify! Now heres the thousand dollar
question "What do you want to do about your prob and how can we help"?
Are you at all firmilur with the steps??

[santadelsangre@cs.com]

Monty, we can't always quit just because we say so. It's a habit that
took a while to form, and it had its purpose - back then. Not now,
right?! Habits and patterns can change. But it takes time. Try not
to beat yourself up when you mess up b/c we're all human, and as such
we make mistakes. It sounds like you have some good insight into your
life and actions, and the consequences. Try to make a conscious
decision before you start to drink, if you do ever again. And, please
don't beat yourself up if you mess up. I believe it only keeps you in
the cycle of negative thinking, which we all know what that leads to.
And, we don't want to go there! Take care!


Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
> I guess I could say that those around me are going through more pain
> than me and that is why I quit drinking. I don't want to end up like
> them. I think for a good portion of my life I have cared what people
> think of me and I think this is why I drank the way I did. I didn't care
> but I did care and it tore me up inside. The best way for me to deal
> with it was to drink, and drink some more. When I was 19, I got caught
> up in the law because of drinking. I was drinking every night. I did it
> because everyone I knew was drinking. I guess you could say peer
> pressure was hip! Long story short, I was at a party, the party got out
> of hand, I had drank way too much, I left the party and headed for home.
> I didn't make it home. In fact, I ended up shutting down the whole east
> end of town because I got into an accident. I thought I was a hot shot,
> so I pulled out into traffic, fish-tailed it and then that's where I
> lost control and smashed three different cars as they were all waiting
> on a red light. As the smoke cleared, I heard a knock at the window and
> there were three guys trying to hold one guy back from killing me. He
> had a shot gun and he was ready to use it. The scene was a mess and
> there was one woman injured due to my jack-ass stunt that I pulled. I
> feel ashamed about it to this day and I will for the rest of my life.
>
> Not too long ago, I was at a party and the same thing almost happened.
> Things got out of hand and I ended up leaving the party half lit.
> Luckily, this was a night that the local cops here decided not to be on
> patrol and I made it home. I sat up that night shivering and shaking and
> I did not get one ounce of sleep. Nor did I get any sleep the next night
> and the whole next day after that party I sat here alone in my room
> thinking, thinking, thinking, contemplating, pacing the floor, thinking
> some more, pacing, thinking, and scaring myself sober. What if I end up
> caught up in the law again? I could lose my license, I could lose my
> job, I would end up having to go to court, I'd have fines to pay, I
> could lose everything. I would succumb to alcohol. I don't want that!
>
> Now, I look around! I see my friends (who I now somewhat look at as
> former drinking buddies) and how they're causing their own problems
> because they're always drunk. I see my father, who is an alcoholic,
> slowly deteriorating in his days of retirement. I lost a friend because
> he has a problem with the fact that I quit drinking. This is a friend
> who I feel I showed too much patience for. I know another guy who likes
> to blame everything on the world because the world doesn't work the way
> he feels it should work. Do you know where that attitude comes from?
> Alcohol!
>
> I do not want this anymore! I want to live life! I want to be able to
> jump in my car anytime I want and take a road trip! I don't necessarily
> want to visit anyone, I just want to take a trip anywhere I feel like! I
> want my freedom! I don't want to end up in a situation where I could end
> up living where I'm living now for the rest of my life and paying fines
> until I'm 70 years old! What fun is that? I don't want to end up like my
> Dad! God bless him, I love him, but I'll be damned if I'm going down
> that road! I want to be able to meet new people, see new things, DO new
> things, live life to the fullest and not live as if tomorrow will never
> come!
>
> Well, I hope this explains what got me sober! I look forward to sharing
> more with you and getting to know more of you!
>
> Happy life and health to all of you!
>
> Monty

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

santadelsangre@cs.com wrote:
> Monty, we can't always quit just because we say so. It's a habit that
> took a while to form, and it had its purpose - back then. Not now,
> right?! Habits and patterns can change. But it takes time. Try not
> to beat yourself up when you mess up b/c we're all human, and as such
> we make mistakes. It sounds like you have some good insight into your
> life and actions, and the consequences. Try to make a conscious
> decision before you start to drink, if you do ever again. And, please
> don't beat yourself up if you mess up. I believe it only keeps you in
> the cycle of negative thinking, which we all know what that leads to.
> And, we don't want to go there! Take care!
>
>

That's the point, I don't want to drink anymore! It's going to get me
in trouble one way or another. One thing I didn't mention is that
around February of 2001, I got cited for public drunkeness. Now, the
circumstances were enough where the cops could have let me go and I
wouldn't have had to spend a night in jail but considering these were
young rookies that were trying to show off to each other I wouldn't have
ended my evening any other way no matter what happened. On the other
hand, maybe being in jail was an omen for me. Maybe it was a sign of
what was to come. I think if I would have continued drinking last year,
I would have ended up caught up in the law.

I'm not looking at my quitting drinking as a negative thing either.
It's a very positive change that I'm making in my life. I've totally
ridded the drugs from my life, I'm scared to put any of that stuff in my
body. Believe me, I have no intentions of beating myself up but if I
keep going down the road where I was and end up caught up in the law or
in trouble or something bad happens to me then I will beat myself up.

Monty