First AA meeting, and some venting...

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

Hello all:

I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend
more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming
their alcoholism.

I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day.
I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who
gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I
let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into
some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that
stems from the way I was raised and that my father used to let all of
his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to take out his
frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother was different,
but she would always take my father's side whenever it came time to
"punish" us.

Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed
into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with
full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would
ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and
the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a
thought in the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or
someone expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it
actually comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it
or he sits silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been
plauging me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up
with it anymore.

Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only
lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other
son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I
had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then
and there "A LOT!!"

I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate.
I don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to
live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around
town in my sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying
their retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the
opposite of my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she
doesn't want to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in
her retirement years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of
him.

Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
getting things out in the open.

Happy life and health to all of you.

Monty
(David)

[DaveB]

On Mon, 04 Sep 2006 14:05:46 -0400, "Montgomery BOO...URNS"
<solitude439@rcn.com> wrote:

>Hello all:
>
>I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
>off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
>temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
>though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend
>more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming
>their alcoholism.
>
>I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
>alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
>missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
>There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day.
> I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who
>gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I
>let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into
>some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that
>stems from the way I was raised and that my father used to let all of
>his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to take out his
>frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother was different,
>but she would always take my father's side whenever it came time to
>"punish" us.
>
>Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
>they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
>for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
>that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed
>into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with
>full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
>especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would
>ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and
>the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a
>thought in the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or
>someone expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it
>actually comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it
>or he sits silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been
>plauging me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up
>with it anymore.
>
>Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
>deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
>especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
>only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
>fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
>broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
>with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
>hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
>nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
>questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
>had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only
>lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other
>son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I
>had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then
>and there "A LOT!!"
>
>I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
>don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate.
> I don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to
>live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around
>town in my sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying
>their retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the
>opposite of my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she
>doesn't want to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in
>her retirement years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of
>him.
>
>Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
>this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
>necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
>been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
>getting things out in the open.
>
>Happy life and health to all of you.
>
>Monty
>(David)


Welcome Dave.....Good Luck

Keep it Simple
Daveb

[readandpostrosie]

congrats to you for recognizing that there is a lot more to alcoholism than
just "putting the plug in the jug"..................
AA meetings has always been the answer for me, i hope you will find peace
there!

rosie
welcome to the group!








"Montgomery BOO...URNS" <solitude439@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:X4KdnYoNOrdg92HZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@rcn.net...
> Hello all:
>
> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight off
> of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
> temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
> though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend more
> just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming their
> alcoholism.
>
> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up alcohol
> than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've missed out
> on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking. There's also the
> stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day. I am also
> struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who gets angry, but
> when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I let it build up
> inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into some sort of Anger
> Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that stems from the way I was
> raised and that my father used to let all of his frustrations from work
> bottle up inside of him only to take out his frustrations when he would
> come home at night. My mother was different, but she would always take my
> father's side whenever it came time to "punish" us.
>
> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
> they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
> for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
> that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed into
> a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with full
> force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
> especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would ask
> him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and the
> initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a thought in
> the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or someone
> expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it actually
> comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it or he sits
> silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been plauging me
> and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up with it
> anymore.
>
> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
> only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
> fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
> broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
> with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
> hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
> nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
> questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
> had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only lied
> to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other son)
> to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I had asked
> him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then and there "A
> LOT!!"
>
> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
> don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate. I
> don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to live a
> full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around town in my
> sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying their
> retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the opposite of
> my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she doesn't want
> to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in her retirement
> years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of him.
>
> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
> this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
> necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
> been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now getting
> things out in the open.
>
> Happy life and health to all of you.
>
> Monty
> (David)

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

readandpostrosie wrote:
> congrats to you for recognizing that there is a lot more to alcoholism than
> just "putting the plug in the jug"..................
> AA meetings has always been the answer for me, i hope you will find peace
> there!
>
> rosie
> welcome to the group!
>

Thanks! I'm looking forward to another year of sobriety!

Monty

[OceanView]

"Montgomery BOO...URNS" <solitude439@rcn.com> wrote in
news:X4KdnYoNOrdg92HZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@rcn.net:

> Hello all:
>
> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
> off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
> temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
> though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend
> more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming
> their alcoholism.
>
> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
> alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
> missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
> There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day.
> I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who
> gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I
> let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into
> some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that
> stems from the way I was raised and that my father used to let all of
> his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to take out his
> frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother was different,
> but she would always take my father's side whenever it came time to
> "punish" us.
>
> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
> they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
> for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
> that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed
> into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with
> full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
> especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would
> ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and
> the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a
> thought in the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or
> someone expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it
> actually comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it
> or he sits silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been
> plauging me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up
> with it anymore.
>
> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
> only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
> fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
> broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
> with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
> hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
> nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
> questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
> had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only
> lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other
> son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I
> had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then
> and there "A LOT!!"
>
> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
> don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate.
> I don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to
> live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around
> town in my sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying
> their retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the
> opposite of my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she
> doesn't want to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in
> her retirement years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of
> him.
>
> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
> this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
> necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
> been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
> getting things out in the open.
>
> Happy life and health to all of you.
>
> Monty
> (David)

Welcome! Yes, I did that first year on my own, as well. I had been to a
couple of meetings before I quit, but mostly I "white knuckled" it. High
stress, high anger and irritibility.

What you have to realize is that you drank too much for reasons, and unless
you process and correct those issues, you'll be miserable, sober or drunk.
I use AA, but there are other (much more expensive, usually) ways. The key
is to start and keep working on yourself. Good luck!

[toadvenomdmt]

Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
> Hello all:
>
> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
> off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
> temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
> though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend
> more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming
> their alcoholism.
>
> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
> alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
> missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
> There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day.
> I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who gets
> angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I let it
> build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into some
> sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that stems
> from the way I was raised and that my father used to let all of his
> frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to take out his
> frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother was different,
> but she would always take my father's side whenever it came time to
> "punish" us.
>
> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
> they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
> for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
> that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed
> into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with
> full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
> especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would
> ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and
> the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a
> thought in the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or
> someone expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it
> actually comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it
> or he sits silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been
> plauging me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up
> with it anymore.
>
> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
> only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
> fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
> broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
> with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
> hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
> nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
> questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
> had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only
> lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other
> son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I
> had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then
> and there "A LOT!!"
>
> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
> don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate.
> I don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to
> live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around
> town in my sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying
> their retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the
> opposite of my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she
> doesn't want to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in
> her retirement years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of
> him.
>
> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
> this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
> necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
> been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
> getting things out in the open.
>
> Happy life and health to all of you.
>
> Monty
> (David)
oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even
thinking of aa. It works, but remember the steps
were written by man.

Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you.
I just don't like it.

I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to
go one way or another though. I'll work the steps
i feel fit, and halfass the steps i don't agree
with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.

If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm
pretty close on my way technically i could get
prison time for what i did, but i'll get work
release i am sure.

Dammit anyway,

Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think
your year you did it on your own is bullshit cause
it's not.

Don't let others think for you think for yourself.

Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few
meetings. I do not deny the fact it works. Very
dangerous if you relapse when attending aa in my
opiny.

[DaveB]

On Sat, 09 Sep 2006 16:28:09 -0500, toadvenomdmt
<toadvenomdmt@gmail.com> wrote:

<snip>
>oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even
>thinking of aa. It works, but remember the steps
>were written by man.
>
>Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you.
>I just don't like it.
>
>I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to
>go one way or another though. I'll work the steps
>i feel fit, and halfass the steps i don't agree
>with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.
>
>If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm
>pretty close on my way technically i could get
>prison time for what i did, but i'll get work
>release i am sure.
>
>Dammit anyway,
>
>Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think
>your year you did it on your own is bullshit cause
>it's not.
>
>Don't let others think for you think for yourself.
>
>Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few
>meetings. I do not deny the fact it works. Very
>dangerous if you relapse when attending aa in my
>opiny.


Sounds like you need someone to do your thinking for you.

See where your "Best Thinking " got you.

BTW , been there done that (prison etc) there is an easier softer way.

I dont want to bore you with the details, but you will figure it out
if you want to stay sober.

Goof Luck


Daveb

[toadvenomdmt]

DaveB wrote:
> On Sat, 09 Sep 2006 16:28:09 -0500, toadvenomdmt
> <toadvenomdmt@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
>>oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even
>>thinking of aa. It works, but remember the steps
>>were written by man.
>>
>>Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you.
>>I just don't like it.
>>
>>I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to
>>go one way or another though. I'll work the steps
>>i feel fit, and halfass the steps i don't agree
>>with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.
>>
>>If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm
>>pretty close on my way technically i could get
>>prison time for what i did, but i'll get work
>>release i am sure.
>>
>>Dammit anyway,
>>
>>Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think
>>your year you did it on your own is bullshit cause
>>it's not.
>>
>>Don't let others think for you think for yourself.
>>
>>Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few
>>meetings. I do not deny the fact it works. Very
>>dangerous if you relapse when attending aa in my
>>opiny.
>
>
>
> Sounds like you need someone to do your thinking for you.
>
> See where your "Best Thinking " got you.
>
> BTW , been there done that (prison etc) there is an easier softer way.
>
> I dont want to bore you with the details, but you will figure it out
> if you want to stay sober.
>
> Goof Luck
>
>
> Daveb
right on i don't wanna go to prison jail sucks
bad enough thankfully i have a job backing me up

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

toadvenomdmt wrote:
> Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
>> Hello all:
>>
>> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
>> off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
>> temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings
>> even though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to
>> attend more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in
>> overcoming their alcoholism.
>>
>> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
>> alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
>> missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
>> There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to
>> day. I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person
>> who gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing
>> because I let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need
>> to look into some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a
>> lot of that stems from the way I was raised and that my father used to
>> let all of his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to
>> take out his frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother
>> was different, but she would always take my father's side whenever it
>> came time to "punish" us.
>>
>> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
>> they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have
>> love for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm
>> saying that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was
>> stuffed into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface
>> again with full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to
>> play head games especially with his family. A good example would be
>> if someone would ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would
>> do it anyway and the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I
>> GUESS" with a thought in the back of his mind that he has to do
>> whatever his family or someone expects of him even though he doesn't
>> want to. Then when it actually comes time to execute the favor, he's
>> grumpy and pissy about it or he sits silently and pouts. That's a
>> total mind f**k and it's been plauging me and my family for years. I
>> don't know how my mother puts up with it anymore.
>>
>> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
>> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
>> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
>> only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where
>> he fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers.
>> He broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was
>> wrong with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him
>> to the hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He
>> had to get nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor
>> asked him questions about his drinking habits and my father told him
>> that he only had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that
>> he not only lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother,
>> son, and other son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when
>> he fell and I had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he
>> told me right then and there "A LOT!!"
>>
>> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar.
>> I don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly
>> deteriorate. I don't want to get caught up in the law due to
>> alcohol. I want to live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be
>> able to walk around town in my sweats and sneakers with the other
>> seniors who are enjoying their retirement or their golden years.
>> Luckily, my mother is the opposite of my father. I think she's
>> looking at him and saying that she doesn't want to slowly go down into
>> that abyss. She's very active in her retirement years and I'm proud
>> of her, but I'm not all that proud of him.
>>
>> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to
>> make this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm
>> not necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things
>> have been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
>> getting things out in the open.
>>
>> Happy life and health to all of you.
>>
>> Monty
>> (David)
> oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even thinking of aa. It
> works, but remember the steps were written by man.
>
> Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you. I just don't like it.
>
> I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to go one way or another
> though. I'll work the steps i feel fit, and halfass the steps i don't
> agree with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.
>
> If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm pretty close on my way
> technically i could get prison time for what i did, but i'll get work
> release i am sure.
>
> Dammit anyway,
>
> Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think your year you did it on
> your own is bullshit cause it's not.
>
> Don't let others think for you think for yourself.
>
> Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few meetings. I do not deny
> the fact it works. Very dangerous if you relapse when attending aa in
> my opiny.

Oh, I'll tell you honestly that some of the stuff I heard at the AA
meeting was self-righteous gobledy-gook but a lot of that gobeldy-gook
is necessary in order to see where you fit and how your thinking and
your experiences can contribute to your life decisions. Yes, in the end
you have to think for yourself.

Monty

[toadvenomdmt]

Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
> toadvenomdmt wrote:
>
>> Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
>>
>>> Hello all:
>>>
>>> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big
>>> weight off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he
>>> would be a temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more
>>> meetings even though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would
>>> like to attend more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded
>>> in overcoming their alcoholism.
>>>
>>> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
>>> alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
>>> missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
>>> There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to
>>> day. I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person
>>> who gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing
>>> because I let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need
>>> to look into some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a
>>> lot of that stems from the way I was raised and that my father used
>>> to let all of his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only
>>> to take out his frustrations when he would come home at night. My
>>> mother was different, but she would always take my father's side
>>> whenever it came time to "punish" us.
>>>
>>> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us
>>> when they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always
>>> have love for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess
>>> I'm saying that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past
>>> was stuffed into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface
>>> again with full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to
>>> play head games especially with his family. A good example would be
>>> if someone would ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he
>>> would do it anyway and the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do
>>> it - I GUESS" with a thought in the back of his mind that he has to
>>> do whatever his family or someone expects of him even though he
>>> doesn't want to. Then when it actually comes time to execute the
>>> favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it or he sits silently and pouts.
>>> That's a total mind f**k and it's been plauging me and my family for
>>> years. I don't know how my mother puts up with it anymore.
>>>
>>> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
>>> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
>>> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems
>>> to only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year
>>> where he fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan
>>> mixers. He broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think
>>> anything was wrong with his leg and that he just sprained it.
>>> Finally, we got him to the hospital where it was confirmed that he
>>> broke his ankle. He had to get nails drilled into his bones to help
>>> him heal. The doctor asked him questions about his drinking habits
>>> and my father told him that he only had a few drinks before he fell.
>>> This disturbed me that he not only lied to the doctor but he was
>>> outright making us (mother, son, and other son) to be fools
>>> specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I had asked him
>>> outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then and there
>>> "A LOT!!"
>>>
>>> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a
>>> liar. I don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly
>>> deteriorate. I don't want to get caught up in the law due to
>>> alcohol. I want to live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be
>>> able to walk around town in my sweats and sneakers with the other
>>> seniors who are enjoying their retirement or their golden years.
>>> Luckily, my mother is the opposite of my father. I think she's
>>> looking at him and saying that she doesn't want to slowly go down
>>> into that abyss. She's very active in her retirement years and I'm
>>> proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of him.
>>>
>>> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to
>>> make this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm
>>> not necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of
>>> things have been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more
>>> comfortable now getting things out in the open.
>>>
>>> Happy life and health to all of you.
>>>
>>> Monty
>>> (David)
>>
>> oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even thinking of aa. It
>> works, but remember the steps were written by man.
>>
>> Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you. I just don't like it.
>>
>> I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to go one way or
>> another though. I'll work the steps i feel fit, and halfass the steps
>> i don't agree with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.
>>
>> If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm pretty close on my way
>> technically i could get prison time for what i did, but i'll get work
>> release i am sure.
>>
>> Dammit anyway,
>>
>> Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think your year you did it on
>> your own is bullshit cause it's not.
>>
>> Don't let others think for you think for yourself.
>>
>> Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few meetings. I do not
>> deny the fact it works. Very dangerous if you relapse when attending
>> aa in my opiny.
>
>
> Oh, I'll tell you honestly that some of the stuff I heard at the AA
> meeting was self-righteous gobledy-gook but a lot of that gobeldy-gook
> is necessary in order to see where you fit and how your thinking and
> your experiences can contribute to your life decisions. Yes, in the end
> you have to think for yourself.
>
> Monty
try different meetings. I felt i fit in some
meetings better then others.

I may bash aa some but i'll be going myself. I
can't drink i get caught i'll end up in prison.

Maybe some day i'll quit for me and not cause i
have to.

Congrats on your sobriety i was on a 21 day
sobriety when you started this board.

You've came a long way, and noone can take it away
from you.

[Montgomery BOO...URNS]

toadvenomdmt wrote:
> Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
>> toadvenomdmt wrote:
>>
>>> Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hello all:
>>>>
>>>> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big
>>>> weight off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he
>>>> would be a temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend
>>>> more meetings even though I have been sober for a year on my own. I
>>>> would like to attend more just so I can meet more people who have
>>>> succeeded in overcoming their alcoholism.
>>>>
>>>> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
>>>> alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that
>>>> you've missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were
>>>> drinking. There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with
>>>> from day to day. I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm
>>>> not a person who gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the
>>>> smallest thing because I let it build up inside of me for too long.
>>>> I guess I need to look into some sort of Anger Management
>>>> Counseling. I know that a lot of that stems from the way I was
>>>> raised and that my father used to let all of his frustrations from
>>>> work bottle up inside of him only to take out his frustrations when
>>>> he would come home at night. My mother was different, but she would
>>>> always take my father's side whenever it came time to "punish" us.
>>>>
>>>> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us
>>>> when they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always
>>>> have love for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I
>>>> guess I'm saying that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in
>>>> my past was stuffed into a corner during my years of drinking only
>>>> to surface again with full force. My father has always been a guy
>>>> who likes to play head games especially with his family. A good
>>>> example would be if someone would ask him a favor and he didn't want
>>>> to do it, he would do it anyway and the initial reaction would be
>>>> "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a thought in the back of his mind
>>>> that he has to do whatever his family or someone expects of him even
>>>> though he doesn't want to. Then when it actually comes time to
>>>> execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it or he sits
>>>> silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been plauging
>>>> me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up with
>>>> it anymore.
>>>>
>>>> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
>>>> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
>>>> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems
>>>> to only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year
>>>> where he fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan
>>>> mixers. He broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think
>>>> anything was wrong with his leg and that he just sprained it.
>>>> Finally, we got him to the hospital where it was confirmed that he
>>>> broke his ankle. He had to get nails drilled into his bones to help
>>>> him heal. The doctor asked him questions about his drinking habits
>>>> and my father told him that he only had a few drinks before he
>>>> fell. This disturbed me that he not only lied to the doctor but he
>>>> was outright making us (mother, son, and other son) to be fools
>>>> specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I had asked him
>>>> outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then and there
>>>> "A LOT!!"
>>>>
>>>> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a
>>>> liar. I don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly
>>>> deteriorate. I don't want to get caught up in the law due to
>>>> alcohol. I want to live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to
>>>> be able to walk around town in my sweats and sneakers with the other
>>>> seniors who are enjoying their retirement or their golden years.
>>>> Luckily, my mother is the opposite of my father. I think she's
>>>> looking at him and saying that she doesn't want to slowly go down
>>>> into that abyss. She's very active in her retirement years and I'm
>>>> proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of him.
>>>>
>>>> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to
>>>> make this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm
>>>> not necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of
>>>> things have been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more
>>>> comfortable now getting things out in the open.
>>>>
>>>> Happy life and health to all of you.
>>>>
>>>> Monty
>>>> (David)
>>>
>>> oh boy..... I'm forced to quit drinking now even thinking of aa. It
>>> works, but remember the steps were written by man.
>>>
>>> Why the hell make amends to people who hurt you. I just don't like it.
>>>
>>> I have a bad attitude about aa. I'll be forced to go one way or
>>> another though. I'll work the steps i feel fit, and halfass the
>>> steps i don't agree with. Not get guilttripped if i drink again.
>>>
>>> If i do it's simple i'll end up in prison. I'm pretty close on my
>>> way technically i could get prison time for what i did, but i'll get
>>> work release i am sure.
>>>
>>> Dammit anyway,
>>>
>>> Congrats on your sobriety. don't let aa think your year you did it
>>> on your own is bullshit cause it's not.
>>>
>>> Don't let others think for you think for yourself.
>>>
>>> Like i say i'm even thinking of going to a few meetings. I do not
>>> deny the fact it works. Very dangerous if you relapse when attending
>>> aa in my opiny.
>>
>>
>> Oh, I'll tell you honestly that some of the stuff I heard at the AA
>> meeting was self-righteous gobledy-gook but a lot of that gobeldy-gook
>> is necessary in order to see where you fit and how your thinking and
>> your experiences can contribute to your life decisions. Yes, in the
>> end you have to think for yourself.
>>
>> Monty
> try different meetings. I felt i fit in some meetings better then others.
>
> I may bash aa some but i'll be going myself. I can't drink i get caught
> i'll end up in prison.
>
> Maybe some day i'll quit for me and not cause i have to.
>
> Congrats on your sobriety i was on a 21 day sobriety when you started
> this board.
>
> You've came a long way, and noone can take it away from you.

The first 3 weeks were a bitch! After that, it all comes in spurts here
and there as far as the stress, irritability, and anger! That's my goal
in the next year is to face some of what I was trying to tuck away and
ignore when I was drinking.

Monty

AA is an "experience-based" program. Listening to people in meetings
talking about concepts they have no experience in practicing is frustrating
at best, fatal at worse.
The best kept secret in AA is that there is a book, "Alcoholics Anonymous"
which purports to show "precisely how we have recovered".
Recommend you get a copy. It's relatively cheap, about $6 to $8US mostly.
If you get it read pages 58 through 71 in light o your family revelations.
If you get a sponsor, make sure he has taken all twelve steps, and is not a
"two-stepper" (steps 1 and 12). Read the book out loud with your sponsor,
starting at the Doctor's Opinion" and going to page 164. Remember, it's
your ass you are trying to save, not his. Be persistent and keep at it. If
the sponsor gets distracted, get another one.
Bill
"Montgomery BOO...URNS" <solitude439@rcn.com> wrote in message
news:X4KdnYoNOrdg92HZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@rcn.net...
> Hello all:
>
> I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight off
> of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
> temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
> though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend more
> just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming their
> alcoholism.
>
> I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up alcohol
> than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've missed out
> on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking. There's also the
> stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day. I am also
> struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who gets angry, but
> when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I let it build up
> inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into some sort of Anger
> Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that stems from the way I was
> raised and that my father used to let all of his frustrations from work
> bottle up inside of him only to take out his frustrations when he would
> come home at night. My mother was different, but she would always take my
> father's side whenever it came time to "punish" us.
>
> Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
> they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
> for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
> that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed into
> a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with full
> force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
> especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would ask
> him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and the
> initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a thought in
> the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or someone
> expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it actually
> comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it or he sits
> silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been plauging me
> and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up with it
> anymore.
>
> Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
> deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
> especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
> only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
> fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
> broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
> with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
> hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
> nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
> questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
> had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only lied
> to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other son)
> to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I had asked
> him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then and there "A
> LOT!!"
>
> I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
> don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate. I
> don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to live a
> full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around town in my
> sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying their
> retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the opposite of
> my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she doesn't want
> to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in her retirement
> years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of him.
>
> Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
> this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
> necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
> been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now getting
> things out in the open.
>
> Happy life and health to all of you.
>
> Monty
> (David)

[Rip VanWinkle]

Well done. Keep coming back. Once the obsession is lifted it is not
about alcohol anymore. It is about living an unumbed life and living
life on life's terms. Meetings are the only way out for me. I have to
occassionaly meet and befriend a newcomer walking in the room and
shaking like a leaf. I have been there and do not want to go there
again. May your HP keep you well my dear fella.

Rip

On Mon, 04 Sep 2006 14:05:46 -0400, "Montgomery BOO...URNS"
<solitude439@rcn.com> wrote:

>Hello all:
>
>I attended my first AA meeting today and it actually took a big weight
>off of my shoulders. I did meet a guy there who told me he would be a
>temporary sponsor and that he thought I should attend more meetings even
>though I have been sober for a year on my own. I would like to attend
>more just so I can meet more people who have succeeded in overcoming
>their alcoholism.
>
>I have discovered in the last year that there is more to giving up
>alcohol than just GIVING UP ALCOHOL. There's the reality that you've
>missed out on a lot in your life during the time you were drinking.
>There's also the stresses that you end up dealing with from day to day.
> I am also struggling with managing my anger. I'm not a person who
>gets angry, but when I do I freak out at the smallest thing because I
>let it build up inside of me for too long. I guess I need to look into
>some sort of Anger Management Counseling. I know that a lot of that
>stems from the way I was raised and that my father used to let all of
>his frustrations from work bottle up inside of him only to take out his
>frustrations when he would come home at night. My mother was different,
>but she would always take my father's side whenever it came time to
>"punish" us.
>
>Don't get me wrong, both of my parents showed a lot of love to us when
>they raised my brother and I and I love them and I will always have love
>for both of my parents even when they're long gone. I guess I'm saying
>that a lot of the dysfunctionality that lurked in my past was stuffed
>into a corner during my years of drinking only to surface again with
>full force. My father has always been a guy who likes to play head games
>especially with his family. A good example would be if someone would
>ask him a favor and he didn't want to do it, he would do it anyway and
>the initial reaction would be "okay, I'll do it - I GUESS" with a
>thought in the back of his mind that he has to do whatever his family or
>someone expects of him even though he doesn't want to. Then when it
>actually comes time to execute the favor, he's grumpy and pissy about it
>or he sits silently and pouts. That's a total mind f**k and it's been
>plauging me and my family for years. I don't know how my mother puts up
>with it anymore.
>
>Another thing is that my father is an alcoholic and it's slowly
>deteriorating him. He has diabetes and he shouldn't be drinking
>especially in the shape he's in. He doesn't look well and he seems to
>only be getting worse. He had an accident earlier in the year where he
>fell down after drinking almost half a bottle of Manhattan mixers. He
>broke his leg and what's messed up is he didn't think anything was wrong
>with his leg and that he just sprained it. Finally, we got him to the
>hospital where it was confirmed that he broke his ankle. He had to get
>nails drilled into his bones to help him heal. The doctor asked him
>questions about his drinking habits and my father told him that he only
>had a few drinks before he fell. This disturbed me that he not only
>lied to the doctor but he was outright making us (mother, son, and other
>son) to be fools specifically because we witnessed when he fell and I
>had asked him outright how many drinks he had and he told me right then
>and there "A LOT!!"
>
>I don't want to fall into this situation. I don't want to be a liar. I
>don't want to be sneaking drinks and letting myself slowly deteriorate.
> I don't want to get caught up in the law due to alcohol. I want to
>live a full life and when I turn 70, I want to be able to walk around
>town in my sweats and sneakers with the other seniors who are enjoying
>their retirement or their golden years. Luckily, my mother is the
>opposite of my father. I think she's looking at him and saying that she
>doesn't want to slowly go down into that abyss. She's very active in
>her retirement years and I'm proud of her, but I'm not all that proud of
>him.
>
>Anyway, thanks for letting me share. I didn't necessarily want to make
>this a forum where I could vent my family frustrations and I'm not
>necessarily looking for a therapy alternative, but a lot of things have
>been lifted off of my chest today and I feel more comfortable now
>getting things out in the open.
>
>Happy life and health to all of you.
>
>Monty
>(David)