Buddy H.
08-20-2003, 11:21 PM
The Compulsive Acts of a Narcissist
(faq page 30)
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq30.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
Are there any compulsive acts typical only to a narcissist?
Answer:
The short and the long of it is: no. In general, there is a strong
compulsive strand in the narcissist's behaviour. He is driven to
exorcise internal demons by means of ritualistic acts. His very
pursuit of Narcissistic Supply is compulsive. The narcissist seeks
to recreate and replay old traumas, ancient, unresolved conflicts
with figures of (primary) importance in his life. He feels guilty
and that he should be punished. He makes sure that he is. These
all possess the tint and hue of compulsion. In many respects,
narcissism can be defined as an obsessive-compulsive disorder gone
berserk. Like the magician's apprentice, it did not know where and
when to stop and it took over the whole edifice. The narcissist's
original personality was consumed by it.
The narcissist is faced with difficult conditions in his
childhood: neglect, abandonment, capriciousness, arbitrariness,
strictness, sadistic behaviour, abuse (physical, psychological, or
verbal) or doting, "annexation" and "appropriation" by a
narcissistic and frustrated parent. He develops a unique defence
mechanism: a story, a narrative, another self. This False Self is
possessed of all the qualities that can insulate the child from
his predicament. It is close to perfect: it is omnipotent,
omniscient, omnipresent. In short: it is divine. A religion
follows: rites, mantras, scriptures, spiritual and physical
exercises. The child worships this new deity. He succumbs to what
he perceives to be its wishes and its needs. He makes sacrifices
of Narcissistic Supply to it. He is awed by it because it
possesses many of the traits of the hallowed tormentors, the
parents. The child reduces his True Self, minimises it. He is
looking to appease the new Divinity not to incur its wrath. He
does so by adhering to strict schedules, ceremonies, by reciting
texts, by self-imposition of self-discipline. Hitherto, the child
is transformed into the servant of his False Self. Daily, he
caters to its needs and offers to it Narcissistic Supply. And he
is rewarded for his efforts: he feels elated when in compliance
with the creed, he emulates the characteristics of this entity.
Suffused with Narcissistic Supply, his False Self content, the
child feels omnipotent, untouchable, invulnerable, immune to
threats and insults and omniscient. On the other hand, when
Narcissistic Supply is lacking the child feels guilty,
miserable, unworthy. The Superego takes over: sadistic, ominous,
cruel, suicidal it chastises the child for having failed, for
having sinned, for being guilty. It demands a self-inflicted
punishment to cleanse, to atone, to let go. Caught between these
two deities the child is compulsively forced to seek
Narcissistic Supply. Success in this pursuit holds both the
promises of emotional reward and of protection from the murderous
Superego.
Throughout all this, the child maintains the rhythms of
regenerating his conflicts and traumas in order to try and resolve
them. Such resolution can be either in the form of punishment or
in the form of healing. But since healing means letting go of his
system of beliefs and deities the child is more likely to elect
the punishment. He strives to re-live old traumas. For instance,
he behaves in ways that make people abandon him. Or he becomes
rebellious in order to be punished by figures of authority. Or he
defies social edicts or even engages in criminal activities. This
underlying axis of self-defeating behaviour is permanent and
interacts with the False Self.
The False Self breeds compulsive acts. The narcissist looks for
his Narcissistic Supply compulsively. He is seeking to be punished
compulsively. He generates resentment or hatred, switches sexual
partners, becomes eccentric, he writes articles and makes
scientific discoveries all compulsively. There is no joy in his
life or in his actions. Just the feeling of relief, momentary
liberation and engulfing protection that he enjoys following a
compulsive act. Pressure builds inside, threatening the precarious
balance of his personality. It is as though he is warned that a
danger is imminent. He reacts by developing an acute anxiety,
which can be alleviated only by a compulsive act. If this act
fails to materialise, the emotional outcome could be anything from
absolute terror to deep-set depression. The narcissist knows that
his very life is at risk, that in his Superego lurks a mortal
enemy. He knows that only the False Self can stand up to it (the
True Self is small, frozen in time, immature and dilapidated). The
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an obsessive-compulsive
disorder writ large.
Narcissists engage in all manner of and impulsive actions:
bingeing, shopping, gambling, drinking, reckless driving, hand
washing. But what sets them apart from other compulsives is
twofold:
The compulsive acts constitute a part of a larger "grandiose"
picture. If a narcissist shops it is in order to build up a
unique collection. If he gambles it is to prove right a method
that he has developed or to demonstrate his amazing mental or
psychic powers. If he climbs mountains or races cars it is to
establish new records and if he binges it is part of
constructing a universal diet or bodybuilding and so on. The
narcissist never engages in simple, straightforward activities
these are too mundane, not sufficiently grandiose. A contextual
narrative has to be invented in order to lend outstanding
proportion, context and purpose to the most common acts, including
the compulsive ones. Where the regular compulsive patient feels
that the compulsive act restores his control over himself and over
his life the narcissist feels that the compulsive act restores
his control over his environment and secures his future
Narcissistic Supply.
The compulsive acts enhance the reward penalty cycle. At their
inception and for as long as they are committed they reward the
narcissist emotionally in the ways described above. But they also
supply him with fresh ammunition against himself. Sinning by
indulging himself leads the narcissist down the path of
self-inflicted punishment.
Finally, "normal" compulsions can be effectively treated with
behaviourist therapeutic methods. The therapist can de-condition
the patient and reinforce his disengagement from his constricting
rituals. This works only partly with the narcissist. His
compulsive acts are part of the much larger, much more complicated
picture of his personality. They are the sick tips of very
abnormal icebergs. Shaving them off does nothing to ameliorate the
narcissist's titanic inner struggle.
(faq page 30)
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq30.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
Are there any compulsive acts typical only to a narcissist?
Answer:
The short and the long of it is: no. In general, there is a strong
compulsive strand in the narcissist's behaviour. He is driven to
exorcise internal demons by means of ritualistic acts. His very
pursuit of Narcissistic Supply is compulsive. The narcissist seeks
to recreate and replay old traumas, ancient, unresolved conflicts
with figures of (primary) importance in his life. He feels guilty
and that he should be punished. He makes sure that he is. These
all possess the tint and hue of compulsion. In many respects,
narcissism can be defined as an obsessive-compulsive disorder gone
berserk. Like the magician's apprentice, it did not know where and
when to stop and it took over the whole edifice. The narcissist's
original personality was consumed by it.
The narcissist is faced with difficult conditions in his
childhood: neglect, abandonment, capriciousness, arbitrariness,
strictness, sadistic behaviour, abuse (physical, psychological, or
verbal) or doting, "annexation" and "appropriation" by a
narcissistic and frustrated parent. He develops a unique defence
mechanism: a story, a narrative, another self. This False Self is
possessed of all the qualities that can insulate the child from
his predicament. It is close to perfect: it is omnipotent,
omniscient, omnipresent. In short: it is divine. A religion
follows: rites, mantras, scriptures, spiritual and physical
exercises. The child worships this new deity. He succumbs to what
he perceives to be its wishes and its needs. He makes sacrifices
of Narcissistic Supply to it. He is awed by it because it
possesses many of the traits of the hallowed tormentors, the
parents. The child reduces his True Self, minimises it. He is
looking to appease the new Divinity not to incur its wrath. He
does so by adhering to strict schedules, ceremonies, by reciting
texts, by self-imposition of self-discipline. Hitherto, the child
is transformed into the servant of his False Self. Daily, he
caters to its needs and offers to it Narcissistic Supply. And he
is rewarded for his efforts: he feels elated when in compliance
with the creed, he emulates the characteristics of this entity.
Suffused with Narcissistic Supply, his False Self content, the
child feels omnipotent, untouchable, invulnerable, immune to
threats and insults and omniscient. On the other hand, when
Narcissistic Supply is lacking the child feels guilty,
miserable, unworthy. The Superego takes over: sadistic, ominous,
cruel, suicidal it chastises the child for having failed, for
having sinned, for being guilty. It demands a self-inflicted
punishment to cleanse, to atone, to let go. Caught between these
two deities the child is compulsively forced to seek
Narcissistic Supply. Success in this pursuit holds both the
promises of emotional reward and of protection from the murderous
Superego.
Throughout all this, the child maintains the rhythms of
regenerating his conflicts and traumas in order to try and resolve
them. Such resolution can be either in the form of punishment or
in the form of healing. But since healing means letting go of his
system of beliefs and deities the child is more likely to elect
the punishment. He strives to re-live old traumas. For instance,
he behaves in ways that make people abandon him. Or he becomes
rebellious in order to be punished by figures of authority. Or he
defies social edicts or even engages in criminal activities. This
underlying axis of self-defeating behaviour is permanent and
interacts with the False Self.
The False Self breeds compulsive acts. The narcissist looks for
his Narcissistic Supply compulsively. He is seeking to be punished
compulsively. He generates resentment or hatred, switches sexual
partners, becomes eccentric, he writes articles and makes
scientific discoveries all compulsively. There is no joy in his
life or in his actions. Just the feeling of relief, momentary
liberation and engulfing protection that he enjoys following a
compulsive act. Pressure builds inside, threatening the precarious
balance of his personality. It is as though he is warned that a
danger is imminent. He reacts by developing an acute anxiety,
which can be alleviated only by a compulsive act. If this act
fails to materialise, the emotional outcome could be anything from
absolute terror to deep-set depression. The narcissist knows that
his very life is at risk, that in his Superego lurks a mortal
enemy. He knows that only the False Self can stand up to it (the
True Self is small, frozen in time, immature and dilapidated). The
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an obsessive-compulsive
disorder writ large.
Narcissists engage in all manner of and impulsive actions:
bingeing, shopping, gambling, drinking, reckless driving, hand
washing. But what sets them apart from other compulsives is
twofold:
The compulsive acts constitute a part of a larger "grandiose"
picture. If a narcissist shops it is in order to build up a
unique collection. If he gambles it is to prove right a method
that he has developed or to demonstrate his amazing mental or
psychic powers. If he climbs mountains or races cars it is to
establish new records and if he binges it is part of
constructing a universal diet or bodybuilding and so on. The
narcissist never engages in simple, straightforward activities
these are too mundane, not sufficiently grandiose. A contextual
narrative has to be invented in order to lend outstanding
proportion, context and purpose to the most common acts, including
the compulsive ones. Where the regular compulsive patient feels
that the compulsive act restores his control over himself and over
his life the narcissist feels that the compulsive act restores
his control over his environment and secures his future
Narcissistic Supply.
The compulsive acts enhance the reward penalty cycle. At their
inception and for as long as they are committed they reward the
narcissist emotionally in the ways described above. But they also
supply him with fresh ammunition against himself. Sinning by
indulging himself leads the narcissist down the path of
self-inflicted punishment.
Finally, "normal" compulsions can be effectively treated with
behaviourist therapeutic methods. The therapist can de-condition
the patient and reinforce his disengagement from his constricting
rituals. This works only partly with the narcissist. His
compulsive acts are part of the much larger, much more complicated
picture of his personality. They are the sick tips of very
abnormal icebergs. Shaving them off does nothing to ameliorate the
narcissist's titanic inner struggle.