Feeling tired tonight

[Gail]

Hi all. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I think I understand
what is happening, and then I don't. I read some and it helped me to
understand a little more. It almost seems impossible that I could be like
you all. I have always thought myself a strong person. I feel so weak and
confused right now. My dad told me that God has something in store for me to
do. One day I believe it and the next day I don't know what to believe. Do I
have to go around with a smile on my face all the time? I faked feeling good
for years and always smiled when I didn't feel like it. Now, I don't feel
like smiling and it seems like it is expected of me. I have always dished
out money, and in most cases it was because I wanted to take care of people,
and now that I realize I am co-dependent, it seems like every corner someone
is needing something and I don't know whether I am suppose to be the good AA
person and give it or let them fend for themselves. I have gotten my husband
and me in dept by doing that with my sons. I fessed up to him and my kids
are doing good. Now that I know what I did and am trying to do better, it
seems my husband has gotten worse on spending. I just don't know what to do.
I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and my
kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know! Hopefully
I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like everything is
backwards or reverse than what I have always thought. Getting sleepy and am
sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense in this post. Just had a bad
day. Poor me.
Love you all and miss you,
Gail


--
Gail

[dan mcgown]

"Gail" <sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote in message
news:nwulf.1863$Eu3.252@fe07.lga...
> Hi all. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I think I understand
> what is happening, and then I don't. I read some and it helped me to
> understand a little more. It almost seems impossible that I could be like
> you all. I have always thought myself a strong person. I feel so weak and
> confused right now. My dad told me that God has something in store for me
> to do. One day I believe it and the next day I don't know what to believe.
> Do I have to go around with a smile on my face all the time? I faked
> feeling good for years and always smiled when I didn't feel like it. Now,
> I don't feel like smiling and it seems like it is expected of me. I have
> always dished out money, and in most cases it was because I wanted to take
> care of people, and now that I realize I am co-dependent, it seems like
> every corner someone is needing something and I don't know whether I am
> suppose to be the good AA person and give it or let them fend for
> themselves. I have gotten my husband and me in dept by doing that with my
> sons. I fessed up to him and my kids are doing good. Now that I know what
> I did and am trying to do better, it seems my husband has gotten worse on
> spending. I just don't know what to do. I am going to go to Alanon. I know
> that I am the reason my husband and my kids don't repect me. I over done
> the co-dependent thing. I know! Hopefully I can learn how to deal with
> that, too. It just seems like everything is backwards or reverse than what
> I have always thought. Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not
> be making any sense in this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
> Love you all and miss you,
> Gail
>
>
> --
> Gail

Oh, honey, you sound like someone who is sick, tired to exhaustion and
*really* needs some sleep. Please try to get some rest and then write again
and tell us if everythng looks a little brighter. As much as we would like
to think that we are spiritual creatures, the fact is that we are stuck in
these little bags of protein and even on our best days we are subject to all
kinds of biochemical responses.
Even though we're alcoholics, it isn't only alcohol that makes us sick
and tired -- sometimes it's just being literally sick and tired. Get rest
and get better and then get back to us, okay?
Dan

[John Royer]

"Gail" <sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote in message
news:nwulf.1863$Eu3.252@fe07.lga...
> Hi all. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I think I understand
> what is happening, and then I don't. I read some and it helped me to
> understand a little more. It almost seems impossible that I could be like
> you all. I have always thought myself a strong person. I feel so weak and
> confused right now. My dad told me that God has something in store for me
> to do. One day I believe it and the next day I don't know what to believe.
> Do I have to go around with a smile on my face all the time? I faked
> feeling good for years and always smiled when I didn't feel like it. Now,
> I don't feel like smiling and it seems like it is expected of me. I have
> always dished out money, and in most cases it was because I wanted to take
> care of people, and now that I realize I am co-dependent, it seems like
> every corner someone is needing something and I don't know whether I am
> suppose to be the good AA person and give it or let them fend for
> themselves. I have gotten my husband and me in dept by doing that with my
> sons. I fessed up to him and my kids are doing good. Now that I know what
> I did and am trying to do better, it seems my husband has gotten worse on
> spending. I just don't know what to do. I am going to go to Alanon. I know
> that I am the reason my husband and my kids don't repect me. I over done
> the co-dependent thing. I know! Hopefully I can learn how to deal with
> that, too. It just seems like everything is backwards or reverse than what
> I have always thought. Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not
> be making any sense in this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
> Love you all and miss you,
> Gail
>
>
> --
> Gail

BUTTERFLY
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He
sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its
body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no
further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small,
shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any
moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,
which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling
around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the
restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get
through the tiny opening was its Higher Powers way of forcing fluid from the
body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight
once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If our Higher
Power allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would
cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!



I asked for Strength.........
And my Higher Power gave me Difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom.........
And my Higher Power sent me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity.........
And my Higher Power gave me Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage.........
And my Higher Power gave me Danger to overcome.

I asked for Love.........
And my Higher Power sent me Troubled People to help.

I asked for Favors.........
And my Higher Power gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted ........
I received everything I needed!

[rosie read n' post]

> I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and
> my kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know!
> Hopefully I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like
> everything is backwards or reverse than what I have always thought.
> Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense
> in this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
> Love you all and miss you,
> Gail
>
>

dear gail,
i think ALANON is a great idea, and will provide you with many answers!
are you going to AA again?
i am sorry to read that you are not feeling well..........please
remember NOT to take yourself so seriously, ESPECIALLY when you are
sick!

rosie
> --
> Gail
>

[Gail]

"dan mcgown" <dmcgown@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:9u2dnZRPR6rUCgvenZ2dnUVZ_smdnZ2d@adelphia.com ...
>
> "Gail" <sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote in message
> news:nwulf.1863$Eu3.252@fe07.lga...
>> Hi all. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I think I understand
>> what is happening, and then I don't. I read some and it helped me to
>> understand a little more. It almost seems impossible that I could be like
>> you all. I have always thought myself a strong person. I feel so weak and
>> confused right now. My dad told me that God has something in store for me
>> to do. One day I believe it and the next day I don't know what to
>> believe. Do I have to go around with a smile on my face all the time? I
>> faked feeling good for years and always smiled when I didn't feel like
>> it. Now, I don't feel like smiling and it seems like it is expected of
>> me. I have always dished out money, and in most cases it was because I
>> wanted to take care of people, and now that I realize I am co-dependent,
>> it seems like every corner someone is needing something and I don't know
>> whether I am suppose to be the good AA person and give it or let them
>> fend for themselves. I have gotten my husband and me in dept by doing
>> that with my sons. I fessed up to him and my kids are doing good. Now
>> that I know what I did and am trying to do better, it seems my husband
>> has gotten worse on spending. I just don't know what to do. I am going to
>> go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and my kids don't
>> repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know! Hopefully I can
>> learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like everything is
>> backwards or reverse than what I have always thought. Getting sleepy and
>> am sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense in this post. Just had
>> a bad day. Poor me.
>> Love you all and miss you,
>> Gail
>>
>>
>> --
>> Gail
>
> Oh, honey, you sound like someone who is sick, tired to exhaustion and
> *really* needs some sleep. Please try to get some rest and then write
> again and tell us if everythng looks a little brighter. As much as we
> would like to think that we are spiritual creatures, the fact is that we
> are stuck in these little bags of protein and even on our best days we are
> subject to all kinds of biochemical responses.
> Even though we're alcoholics, it isn't only alcohol that makes us sick
> and tired -- sometimes it's just being literally sick and tired. Get rest
> and get better and then get back to us, okay?
> Dan
>

I slept good last night. You are right, Dan. I was literally sick and tired
last night. It does look brighter today. Thanks. Going to get some coffee in
me right now. Have a great day, Dan!
Gail

[Gail]

Thanks John. I saved this so I could read again when I feel like I did last
night. Thanks so much.
Gail


"John Royer" <john.royer2@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:Aazlf.2127$PX2.234610@news20.bellglobal.com.. .
>
> BUTTERFLY
> A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He
> sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force
> its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any
> progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could
> go no further.
>
> So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and
> snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
>
> The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small,
> shriveled wings.
>
> The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any
> moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,
> which would contract in time.
>
> Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life
> crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able
> to fly.
>
> What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the
> restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get
> through the tiny opening was its Higher Powers way of forcing fluid from
> the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for
> flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
>
> Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If our Higher
> Power allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would
> cripple us.
>
> We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!
>
>
>
> I asked for Strength.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
>
> I asked for Wisdom.........
> And my Higher Power sent me Problems to solve.
>
> I asked for Prosperity.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
>
> I asked for Courage.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Danger to overcome.
> Opportunities.
>
> I received nothing I wanted ........
> I received everything I needed!
>
> I asked for Love.........
> And my Higher Power sent me Troubled People to help.
>
> I asked for Favors.........
> And my Higher Power gave me

[Gail]

"rosie read n' post" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:ILClf.270$0e.50@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>> I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and my
>> kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know!
>> Hopefully I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like
>> everything is backwards or reverse than what I have always thought.
>> Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense in
>> this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
>> Love you all and miss you,
>> Gail
>>
>>
>
> dear gail,
> i think ALANON is a great idea, and will provide you with many answers!
> are you going to AA again?

Yes, just haven't been since Saturday night. If I don't start feeling worse
as the day goes on, I will make it to one this evening. I think there is an
Alanon on Wed., too. This is Wednesday? ;) I gotta get some coffee in me.

> i am sorry to read that you are not feeling well..........please remember
> NOT to take yourself so seriously, ESPECIALLY when you are sick!

I will. Thanks, Rosie. How is that pup of yours?


> rosie
>> --
>> Gail
>>
>
>

[Dudley Do Rite]

Wonderful words, John. Thanks for sharing them.

"John Royer" <john.royer2@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:Aazlf.2127$PX2.234610@news20.bellglobal.com.. .
>
>
>
> I asked for Strength.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
>
> I asked for Wisdom.........
> And my Higher Power sent me Problems to solve.
>
> I asked for Prosperity.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
>
> I asked for Courage.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Danger to overcome.
>
> I asked for Love.........
> And my Higher Power sent me Troubled People to help.
>
> I asked for Favors.........
> And my Higher Power gave me Opportunities.
>
> I received nothing I wanted ........
> I received everything I needed!
>
>

[rosie read n' post]

puppy is doing fine.............my rugs aren't!
:)

--

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
http://img419.imageshack.us/my.php?image=santa1qx.jpg




"Gail" <sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote in message
news:HTDlf.236$so7.186@fe06.lga...
>
> "rosie read n' post" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:ILClf.270$0e.50@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>>> I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband
>>> and my kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I
>>> know! Hopefully I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just
>>> seems like everything is backwards or reverse than what I have
>>> always thought. Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not be
>>> making any sense in this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
>>> Love you all and miss you,
>>> Gail
>>>
>>>
>>
>> dear gail,
>> i think ALANON is a great idea, and will provide you with many
>> answers!
>> are you going to AA again?
>
> Yes, just haven't been since Saturday night. If I don't start feeling
> worse as the day goes on, I will make it to one this evening. I think
> there is an Alanon on Wed., too. This is Wednesday? ;) I gotta get
> some coffee in me.
>
>> i am sorry to read that you are not feeling well..........please
>> remember NOT to take yourself so seriously, ESPECIALLY when you are
>> sick!
>
> I will. Thanks, Rosie. How is that pup of yours?
>
>
>> rosie
>>> --
>>> Gail
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

[Elliot]

Gail,
It took me a long time to realize this, that AA & Alanon are both selfish
programs. What I mean by that is you go to AA get help in getting sober (to
help yourself) you go to Alanon to understand the alcoholic in your life (to
help yourself). Remember that you must take care of yourself to possibly
help those you care about. I hope this helps in a small way.
Elliot
"Gail" <sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote in message
news:HTDlf.236$so7.186@fe06.lga...
>
> "rosie read n' post" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:ILClf.270$0e.50@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>>> I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and
>>> my kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know!
>>> Hopefully I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like
>>> everything is backwards or reverse than what I have always thought.
>>> Getting sleepy and am sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense in
>>> this post. Just had a bad day. Poor me.
>>> Love you all and miss you,
>>> Gail
>>>
>>>
>>
>> dear gail,
>> i think ALANON is a great idea, and will provide you with many answers!
>> are you going to AA again?
>
> Yes, just haven't been since Saturday night. If I don't start feeling
> worse as the day goes on, I will make it to one this evening. I think
> there is an Alanon on Wed., too. This is Wednesday? ;) I gotta get some
> coffee in me.
>
>> i am sorry to read that you are not feeling well..........please remember
>> NOT to take yourself so seriously, ESPECIALLY when you are sick!
>
> I will. Thanks, Rosie. How is that pup of yours?
>
>
>> rosie
>>> --
>>> Gail
>>>
>>
>>
>
>

[GirlGeek]

Roger, you can't believe how much this meant to me. In fact, it's
almost making me cry because it seems so applicable to my current
situation. Thank you so much.
And to Gail, keep posting girl. You are not alone.

[rockhound]

This process of inventory should continue for a lifetime. But we must
be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection when
we first encounter such distasteful revelations as our very own
self-concerned, phony, superficial do-gooding ego-feeding ways, and
the like, the manner in which we attempt to claim virtue and steal
people's opinions, all the while hiding pride, greed, fear and the
like under platitudes and beatitudes and 'kindly acts', etc., for that
might diminish our usefulness to others; after all, these qualities
are the very ammunition with which we can be of benefit to other
self-deluded folks who are either drinking themselves into madness and
oblivion or imagine they have earned some special spiritual stripes
with the Lord, or whatever.

The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one actually
in fact PERMEATES human affairs from TOP to BOTTOM. Such subtle,
elusive and damaging kind of self-righteousness can underlie the
smallest act or thought. Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct
these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living.

An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings
received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be
the permanent assets we shall seek.

When we discover these things, we are glad we know ourselves better,
we step into the shoes that fit, and ask our creator to show us the
way to better things as he/or/she/it might care to under the
conditions of the day. We don't hang around on the cross, since we
now know that others need the wood, and our motives need a drastic
overhaul.

A ruthless look at our motives, free acceptance and admission of what
we find, swallowing the hard ones, willingness to make amends and head
toward better ways, reliance on god, unselfish thought and action,
these lead unerringly to freedom, conviction, and happy contented
useful living. When in doubt, ask god for the right thought or
action. Take the time to consider each troubling or recurring
situtation carefully when possible or called for, and otherwise, don't
worry about it. We learn to truly laugh at ourselves. We begin to
lose the fear of the state of our souls, here or hereafter. We get
up, and grow up, and become a little bit more of what we could be.
Can't change what others think of us, only what they ought to.

Either that, or we try and 'just don't drink' and go to church and
write all our errors off on jeeeeeeeeeeeyzus. Not sure you can do
that, Gail, since you have a modicum of consciousness, even though
you're still so all wrapped up in yourself you you could put yourself
under the christmas tree and nobody would know the difference.

When the thought life gets intolerable, we can always pause, and in
the stillness simply say, thy will not mine be done, turn our
attentions outside of ourselves. It is not the matter of giving
that's in question, but learning when, why, and how to.

As to marital warfare, the Neverlost in-car gps directional system has
a dear peacekeeping feature: when you screw up and miss a turn, the
ever-friendly system voice simply cuts in and says, 'recalculating...'

Happy hollydaze

On Tue, 6 Dec 2005 23:35:17 -0600, "Gail"
<sweetpawprints_920@removethischarter.net> wrote:

>Hi all. I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I think I understand
>what is happening, and then I don't. I read some and it helped me to
>understand a little more. It almost seems impossible that I could be like
>you all. I have always thought myself a strong person. I feel so weak and
>confused right now. My dad told me that God has something in store for me to
>do. One day I believe it and the next day I don't know what to believe. Do I
>have to go around with a smile on my face all the time? I faked feeling good
>for years and always smiled when I didn't feel like it. Now, I don't feel
>like smiling and it seems like it is expected of me. I have always dished
>out money, and in most cases it was because I wanted to take care of people,
>and now that I realize I am co-dependent, it seems like every corner someone
>is needing something and I don't know whether I am suppose to be the good AA
>person and give it or let them fend for themselves. I have gotten my husband
>and me in dept by doing that with my sons. I fessed up to him and my kids
>are doing good. Now that I know what I did and am trying to do better, it
>seems my husband has gotten worse on spending. I just don't know what to do.
>I am going to go to Alanon. I know that I am the reason my husband and my
>kids don't repect me. I over done the co-dependent thing. I know! Hopefully
>I can learn how to deal with that, too. It just seems like everything is
>backwards or reverse than what I have always thought. Getting sleepy and am
>sick with a cold. I may not be making any sense in this post. Just had a bad
>day. Poor me.
>Love you all and miss you,
>Gail