Staying sober this holiday season.

[Been There Got A Mug]

This is will my second holiday season being sober.

While I did not become a hermit last year, I certainly
limited my exposure to parties and made damn sure
that I drove so *I* could leave when the times got tough.

That is the key. And I went to meetings allot more
than I have been lately.

The only party that I attended was that with some old
and new friends, some knew I went to rehab, others did
not. It was ironic that my wife got a bottle of wine as a
gift was we gratefully said *Thank You* . My wife still
drinks very few seldom and I think we ended up taking to
her parents for Xmas dinner and her sisters drank it ;-) .

In the past year, I've attended 0 parties were drinks were available,
including work dinners and the family/work picnic.
I was going through this thought process that "*damn they are laughing

and drinking and I'm crawling out of my skin not because I want a
drink,
but because I don't know how to behave sober * ". That is when having
keys to your car works really well.

I am moving next week to a new home. I have a Russian neigthbor who
keeps promising me he has the best vodka ever made and we will
have a toast when I move in. I haven't told I don't drink yet .. so
I'll
have to let him down easy. He doesn't need to know that my basic
diet 2 years ago included a liter of vodka *every day* and it brings
back
rather bad memories.

I am curious how others made it through these trying periods.
I have no fear now. That was my hurdle last year thinking I would
give in and sneak a drink.

[Robert McGregor]

"Been There Got A Mug" <BeenThereGotAMug@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1133226384.854752.275210@g49g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
>
>
> This is will my second holiday season being sober.
>
> While I did not become a hermit last year, I certainly
> limited my exposure to parties and made damn sure
> that I drove so *I* could leave when the times got tough.
>
> That is the key. And I went to meetings allot more
> than I have been lately.
>
> The only party that I attended was that with some old
> and new friends, some knew I went to rehab, others did
> not. It was ironic that my wife got a bottle of wine as a
> gift was we gratefully said *Thank You* . My wife still
> drinks very few seldom and I think we ended up taking to
> her parents for Xmas dinner and her sisters drank it ;-) .
>
> In the past year, I've attended 0 parties were drinks were
> available,
> including work dinners and the family/work picnic.
> I was going through this thought process that "*damn they are
> laughing
>
> and drinking and I'm crawling out of my skin not because I want a
> drink,
> but because I don't know how to behave sober * ". That is when
> having
> keys to your car works really well.
>
> I am moving next week to a new home. I have a Russian neigthbor who
> keeps promising me he has the best vodka ever made and we will
> have a toast when I move in. I haven't told I don't drink yet .. so
> I'll
> have to let him down easy. He doesn't need to know that my basic
> diet 2 years ago included a liter of vodka *every day* and it
> brings
> back
> rather bad memories.
>
> I am curious how others made it through these trying periods.
> I have no fear now. That was my hurdle last year thinking I would
> give in and sneak a drink.
>

For my first decade or so sober, arguably the only socially pertinent
difference between my walk and AA's talk at festivus, indeed on any
other occasion too, was that I lived by the misconception a "proper
time and place" invariably meant absolutely the very first
opportunity, real or imagined, to flap my mouth.

One thing that *could* go without saying is that such enthusiastic
vigorous flapping was of coarse accomplished with an almost complete
disregard of culinary contents. Needless to say, a common
handkerchief became the hallmark of my sartorial splendour.

Proud Bob, the *EX* drunk.

“Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing
about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase
the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to
your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to
eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are
not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and
place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If
you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink.”
http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_102.htm

[Dan McGown]

BTGAM,
I guess that I was really lucky my first Christmas of sobriety. My
younger brother had already been clean and sober for a dozen years and his
wife (who was with him before, during and after) took me under their
collective wings and made room for me in a place that had family and friends
but where drink wasn't even on the menu. That really helped and its
something that I think that we all need to try to give back.
In my little community of gay alkies, I am the lucky one to still have
family who cares about me. Many gay people and many alkies have been more
or less cut loose by their families. (Not criticizing, just stating fact.
Sometimes people need to let go of things that they can't deal with, I
suppose.) Anyway, it means a bunch of people who now bond together because
other doors are closed.
We do criticize AA a lot and I suppose that at organizational levels
much of it is deserved. The thing that keeps me with the program, though,
is the bond at the lowest level: "We're all that we've got." Every time
that I see "Rent" the one song reminds me of how I felt when I accepted that
I really was an alcoholic and that I really did belong at that meeting with
the other drunks:
"There's only us. There's only this.
Forget regret -- or life is yours to miss.
No other road. No other way.
No day but today."

Have a great holiday.

Dan



"Been There Got A Mug" <BeenThereGotAMug@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1133226384.854752.275210@g49g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
>
>
> This is will my second holiday season being sober.
>
> While I did not become a hermit last year, I certainly
> limited my exposure to parties and made damn sure
> that I drove so *I* could leave when the times got tough.
>
> That is the key. And I went to meetings allot more
> than I have been lately.
>
> The only party that I attended was that with some old
> and new friends, some knew I went to rehab, others did
> not. It was ironic that my wife got a bottle of wine as a
> gift was we gratefully said *Thank You* . My wife still
> drinks very few seldom and I think we ended up taking to
> her parents for Xmas dinner and her sisters drank it ;-) .
>
> In the past year, I've attended 0 parties were drinks were available,
> including work dinners and the family/work picnic.
> I was going through this thought process that "*damn they are laughing
>
> and drinking and I'm crawling out of my skin not because I want a
> drink,
> but because I don't know how to behave sober * ". That is when having
> keys to your car works really well.
>
> I am moving next week to a new home. I have a Russian neigthbor who
> keeps promising me he has the best vodka ever made and we will
> have a toast when I move in. I haven't told I don't drink yet .. so
> I'll
> have to let him down easy. He doesn't need to know that my basic
> diet 2 years ago included a liter of vodka *every day* and it brings
> back
> rather bad memories.
>
> I am curious how others made it through these trying periods.
> I have no fear now. That was my hurdle last year thinking I would
> give in and sneak a drink.
>

[rosie read n' post]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh RENT............one of my all time favorites!

--

rosie
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?
http://www.ac.wwu.edu/%7Estephan/USfatalities.html



"Dan McGown" <dmcgown@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:28OdnfkSVux99xHenZ2dnUVZ_tqdnZ2d@adelphia.com ...
> BTGAM,
> I guess that I was really lucky my first Christmas of sobriety.
> My younger brother had already been clean and sober for a dozen years
> and his wife (who was with him before, during and after) took me under
> their collective wings and made room for me in a place that had family
> and friends but where drink wasn't even on the menu. That really
> helped and its something that I think that we all need to try to give
> back.
> In my little community of gay alkies, I am the lucky one to still
> have family who cares about me. Many gay people and many alkies have
> been more or less cut loose by their families. (Not criticizing, just
> stating fact. Sometimes people need to let go of things that they
> can't deal with, I suppose.) Anyway, it means a bunch of people who
> now bond together because other doors are closed.
> We do criticize AA a lot and I suppose that at organizational
> levels much of it is deserved. The thing that keeps me with the
> program, though, is the bond at the lowest level: "We're all that
> we've got." Every time that I see "Rent" the one song reminds me of
> how I felt when I accepted that I really was an alcoholic and that I
> really did belong at that meeting with the other drunks:
> "There's only us. There's only this.
> Forget regret -- or life is yours to miss.
> No other road. No other way.
> No day but today."
>
> Have a great holiday.
>
> Dan
>
>
>
> "Been There Got A Mug" <BeenThereGotAMug@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1133226384.854752.275210@g49g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
>>
>>
>> This is will my second holiday season being sober.
>>
>> While I did not become a hermit last year, I certainly
>> limited my exposure to parties and made damn sure
>> that I drove so *I* could leave when the times got tough.
>>
>> That is the key. And I went to meetings allot more
>> than I have been lately.
>>
>> The only party that I attended was that with some old
>> and new friends, some knew I went to rehab, others did
>> not. It was ironic that my wife got a bottle of wine as a
>> gift was we gratefully said *Thank You* . My wife still
>> drinks very few seldom and I think we ended up taking to
>> her parents for Xmas dinner and her sisters drank it ;-) .
>>
>> In the past year, I've attended 0 parties were drinks were available,
>> including work dinners and the family/work picnic.
>> I was going through this thought process that "*damn they are
>> laughing
>>
>> and drinking and I'm crawling out of my skin not because I want a
>> drink,
>> but because I don't know how to behave sober * ". That is when having
>> keys to your car works really well.
>>
>> I am moving next week to a new home. I have a Russian neigthbor who
>> keeps promising me he has the best vodka ever made and we will
>> have a toast when I move in. I haven't told I don't drink yet .. so
>> I'll
>> have to let him down easy. He doesn't need to know that my basic
>> diet 2 years ago included a liter of vodka *every day* and it brings
>> back
>> rather bad memories.
>>
>> I am curious how others made it through these trying periods.
>> I have no fear now. That was my hurdle last year thinking I would
>> give in and sneak a drink.
>>
>
>

[Plug]

"Been There Got A Mug" <BeenThereGotAMug@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1133226384.854752.275210@g49g2000cwa.googlegr oups.com...
>
>
> This is will my second holiday season being sober.
>
> I am curious how others made it through these trying periods.
> I have no fear now. That was my hurdle last year thinking I would
> give in and sneak a drink.

The first thing I found was that one or two close friends just evaporated
once I stopped drinking. This upset me for about a year - I kept thinking
"what have I done?". My new friends are actually old friends who have
become closer, which is nice. Now that I'm not boozing, I can do things
like put some effort into relationships. My friends accept I don't drink -
we tend to go out for meals, rather than to bars.

The other thing I have noticed is that most people don't give a damn. I
thought it would be really odd being at the staff Christmas party and not
drinking, but everyone was so busy having a good time - no-one noticed I was
not drinking. How arrogant of me to think anyone would care!

Christmas day is at my home and has been for years so it's not difficult.
It's a quiet affair this year. I have no drink in the house. My son is
more interested in his pecs than the Becks so he doesn't drink at home. My
Mum is elderly and quite happy with a soft drink.

Boxing Day I'm off to a luxury hotel with my OH. Instead of boozing, I'll
be having spa treatments and swimming, possibly a little retail therapy.

This will be my fourth Christmas but I had to work it out - I just take not
drinking for granted now. I have no fear now either. That is a good way of
expressing it. Giving up the booze enables you to face your fears.

I wish everyone who wants it a sober and happy Christmas.

Deb/Bubba

[Dan McGown]

Rosie,
My daughter insisted that I had to see the movie with her first so we
went to see it on Thanksgiving evening. Then, when I got back to Akron, I
went to see it again on Sunday with a friend. I'm probably going to see it
a couple of more times at the theatre and then buy the dvd.
It's great as long as you don't take it too literally -- it really is
still like "La Boheme" in that respect. Most of the people in it have some
fairly open and obvious flaws. The only person in the whole thing who is
always nice, always giving, is Angel. The love story between Angel and
Collins is the best part of the play. And it doesn't hurt anything that
Wilson Jermaine Heredia is gorgeous. <grin> Then again, the look on Tom
Collins face whenever the subject is Angel is pretty spectacular, too.
Okay, I'll admit that Jesse L. Martin is fairly easy on the eyes also. LOL
Dan

"rosie read n' post" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:GM%if.88$Dk.61@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh RENT............one of my all time favorites!
>