Hi, I'm Paul

[Paul D]

Hi everyone
My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
found this group, I now have something to turn to.
My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on sleeping
pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has lost
her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
Paul

[stuart]

Paul D <paul_r_d@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:437ee4af$1_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
> Hi everyone
> My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
> found this group, I now have something to turn to.
> My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
> began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on
sleeping
> pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
> coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
> 17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
> years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
> father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has lost
> her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
> sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
> speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
> Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
> Paul

You thought about Alanon? It might help you understand the apparent
irrationality of this kind of drinking. If she is alcoholic, she has two
problems. She can't stop drinking once she gets started, and she has this
incredibly illogical inability to stay stopped.
Step one of AA
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become
unmanageable"
Powerless over alcohol means precisely and literally that. First an
alcoholic, once he or she takes one drink, an intense craving for more
drinks immediately begins, and we don't stop until we are drunk, run out of
booze, or pass out.
Second, an alcoholic has a mental problem, in that, after sobering up, after
the hangover, it's only a matter of time before the bullshit side of
drinking gets forgotten, and the alcoholic mind only remembers that sense of
ease and comfort a couple of drinks provides, and sooner or later gets to
thinking about taking a drink. Often times, the alcoholic may figure things
will somehow be different "this time". Sooner or later the impulsion to take
a drink burns a hole right through the will power, or blots out any common
sense notion that drinking=problems.
You, on the other hand, seem to tend to view her as someone who is hurting
you, and you can't understand why she would do such a thing. Point is, she
can't help herself, it's not her fault. She is ill with a drinking disorder.
Alanon has some excellent advice to help you deal with her, and how best to
position yourself to do her the most possible good, maybe even helping her
find recovery, you never know.
Being hurt, such that she is aware of your hurt may not be helpful in her
stopping drinking.

[Paul D]

Thanks Start
"stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:dPFff.119529$S4.117924@edtnps84...
>
> Paul D <paul_r_d@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
> news:437ee4af$1_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
>> Hi everyone
>> My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
>> found this group, I now have something to turn to.
>> My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
>> began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on
> sleeping
>> pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
>> coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
>> 17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
>> years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
>> father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has
>> lost
>> her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
>> sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
>> speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
>> Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
>> Paul
>
> You thought about Alanon? It might help you understand the apparent
> irrationality of this kind of drinking. If she is alcoholic, she has two
> problems. She can't stop drinking once she gets started, and she has this
> incredibly illogical inability to stay stopped.
> Step one of AA
> "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become
> unmanageable"
> Powerless over alcohol means precisely and literally that. First an
> alcoholic, once he or she takes one drink, an intense craving for more
> drinks immediately begins, and we don't stop until we are drunk, run out
> of
> booze, or pass out.
> Second, an alcoholic has a mental problem, in that, after sobering up,
> after
> the hangover, it's only a matter of time before the bullshit side of
> drinking gets forgotten, and the alcoholic mind only remembers that sense
> of
> ease and comfort a couple of drinks provides, and sooner or later gets to
> thinking about taking a drink. Often times, the alcoholic may figure
> things
> will somehow be different "this time". Sooner or later the impulsion to
> take
> a drink burns a hole right through the will power, or blots out any common
> sense notion that drinking=problems.
> You, on the other hand, seem to tend to view her as someone who is hurting
> you, and you can't understand why she would do such a thing. Point is, she
> can't help herself, it's not her fault. She is ill with a drinking
> disorder.
> Alanon has some excellent advice to help you deal with her, and how best
> to
> position yourself to do her the most possible good, maybe even helping her
> find recovery, you never know.
> Being hurt, such that she is aware of your hurt may not be helpful in her
> stopping drinking.
>
>

[rosie read n' post]

paul,
have you been to ALANON?


--

dear mr. bush,
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/index.php?id=4924#mistake



"Paul D" <paul_r_d@iprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:437ee4af$1_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
> Hi everyone
> My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad
> I found this group, I now have something to turn to.
> My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it
> first began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses
> on sleeping pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time
> walking out into on coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all
> happening when I was 17-18 and in my final years of high school.
> Thought times they were. Two years later on she is still drinking and
> we continue to have fights. Her father died of a heart attack due to
> excessive drinking, my aunty has lost her entire family because of it,
> so I don't understand why when she is sober, and takes that first sip
> she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can speak- I can voice my inner
> feelings.
> Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
> Paul
>

[someone in need]

Paul,

I have been facing something similar in my wife.

I go to Alanon, and a support group of a local addiction rehab center,
and have also read a superb book that has helped me greatly.

its tough when you love someone.

The book is "Love First" by Jeff Jay, one of the foremost addiction
counselors in the US.

Is there any law/statute in Australia that can force your mom into
rehab? Some jurisdictions do. For example in Florida, the is the
Marchman act.

Keep on loving your mother, but don't love what alcohol is doing to
her. You yoursel may want to NOT use alcohol as it seems to hurt your
family members and you may be more at risk for alcoholism once you
start/continue drinking

On Sat, 19 Nov 2005 16:14:11 GMT, "rosie read n' post"
<readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote:

>paul,
>have you been to ALANON?

[Bryan]

Paul D wrote:
> Hi everyone
> My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
> found this group, I now have something to turn to.
> My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
> began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on sleeping
> pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
> coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
> 17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
> years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
> father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has lost
> her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
> sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
> speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
> Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
> Paul
>
>
yes try alonon.

[Dreamspinner3]

Hi Paul. My name is Kim and I am the daughter of two alcoholics and
am currently married to one who is supposed to be in a treatment
center tonight. I don't know if he is there or not because they won't
tell me due to patient confidentiality but I do know he's no longer at
the hospital that he was in. I am worried about where he because he
is in no frame of mind right now to be outside of a hospital or
treatment facility.

Anyway, let me start off by saying I'm sorry you've had to go through
some terrible experiences with your mother. Please know that it
isn't your fault or your responsibility; you are not in control of
your mother, nor will you ever be.

There is no point in trying to understand why an alcoholic
drinks--they just do and it is because they suffer from a disease.
They suffer from a terrible compulsion to drink, no matter what. Why
they suffer from it, no one is certain. There are many theories as to
why alcoholics drink but no one knows for certain. Many alcoholics
will tell they don't even know for certain why they do it.

All you can do it take care of yourself and stop trying to control
your mother's drinking. Nothing you can say or do will make her stop;
only she can make the decision to stop and she will do it IF and/or
WHEN she is ready to. The sad fact is she might never stop drinking
until she dies. There is no way to know what the future holds for
her, but you can decide what the future holds for yourself.

Focus on yourself, take care of yourself. Step back and let her go
her own way and let her face the consequences of her choices. That is
the best way you can help her to see that she has a problem, by not
doing anything to shield her from the consequences of her drinking.
That can be a hard thing to do, I know, but it is the only way you can
really help her. If she ever decides to get help and goes into
treatment, then you might be able to do other things to support
her--it all depends on the treatment program and the path she decides
to take.

On Sat, 19 Nov 2005 19:39:10 +1100, "Paul D" <paul_r_d@iprimus.com.au>
wrote:

>Hi everyone
>My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
>found this group, I now have something to turn to.
>My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
>began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on sleeping
>pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
>coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
>17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
>years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
>father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has lost
>her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
>sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
>speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
>Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
>Paul
>

-----
Kim/Dreamspinner3
Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[stuart]

Dreamspinner3 <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:v55ao1pnt9gc1ujdgulke45u6bq8cqrtus@4ax.com...
> Hi Paul. My name is Kim and I am the daughter of two alcoholics and
> am currently married to one who is supposed to be in a treatment
> center tonight. I don't know if he is there or not because they won't
> tell me due to patient confidentiality but I do know he's no longer at
> the hospital that he was in. I am worried about where he because he
> is in no frame of mind right now to be outside of a hospital or
> treatment facility.
>
> Anyway, let me start off by saying I'm sorry you've had to go through
> some terrible experiences with your mother. Please know that it
> isn't your fault or your responsibility; you are not in control of
> your mother, nor will you ever be.
>
> There is no point in trying to understand why an alcoholic
> drinks--they just do and it is because they suffer from a disease.
> They suffer from a terrible compulsion to drink, no matter what. Why
> they suffer from it, no one is certain. There are many theories as to
> why alcoholics drink but no one knows for certain. Many alcoholics
> will tell they don't even know for certain why they do it.
>
> All you can do it take care of yourself and stop trying to control
> your mother's drinking. Nothing you can say or do will make her stop;
> only she can make the decision to stop and she will do it IF and/or
> WHEN she is ready to. The sad fact is she might never stop drinking
> until she dies. There is no way to know what the future holds for
> her, but you can decide what the future holds for yourself.
>
> Focus on yourself, take care of yourself. Step back and let her go
> her own way and let her face the consequences of her choices. That is
> the best way you can help her to see that she has a problem, by not
> doing anything to shield her from the consequences of her drinking.
> That can be a hard thing to do, I know, but it is the only way you can
> really help her. If she ever decides to get help and goes into
> treatment, then you might be able to do other things to support
> her--it all depends on the treatment program and the path she decides
> to take.
>
> On Sat, 19 Nov 2005 19:39:10 +1100, "Paul D" <paul_r_d@iprimus.com.au>
> wrote:
>
> >Hi everyone
> >My name is Paul and I am 20 years old and from Australia. I am so glad I
> >found this group, I now have something to turn to.
> >My mother has been an alcoholic for the last three years. When it first
> >began she tried taking her life four times, two being overdoses on
sleeping
> >pills, the third slashing her wrists, and forth time walking out into on
> >coming traffic. All aided by alcohol. This was all happening when I was
> >17-18 and in my final years of high school. Thought times they were. Two
> >years later on she is still drinking and we continue to have fights. Her
> >father died of a heart attack due to excessive drinking, my aunty has
lost
> >her entire family because of it, so I don't understand why when she is
> >sober, and takes that first sip she doesn't see this. I am glad now I can
> >speak- I can voice my inner feelings.
> >Hope to hear all your stories and experiences too.
> >Paul
> >
>
> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3 wrote;

Many alcoholics will tell they don't even know for certain why they do it.

Especially if they are telling the truth..:-)



> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/