Last night I had to call the police....

[Dreamspinner3]

Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
call 911.

The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
what had to be done.

He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
if I want to survive sane & unhurt.

I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
him because he doesn't want to get better.

I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.

I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
children, thank God.

Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
be strong.
-----
Kim/Dreamspinner3
Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[Robert McGregor]

"Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I
> had
> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken
> all
> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack
> me
> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it
> &
> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone
> to
> call 911.
>
> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on
> his
> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I
> did
> what had to be done.
>
> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore,
> not
> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>
> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is
> the
> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear
> to
> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>
> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have
> six
> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it
> comes
> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>
> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with
> my
> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my
> finances,
> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> children, thank God.
>
> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I
> must
> be strong.
> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

Thanks for sharing your times with us. Certainly timely reminders of
my own history, so saying a prayer for you and your pets in new and
perhaps daunting freedom was a healthy moment, at least it was for
me.

Kim, wishing you strength to grasp the best of a future that holds
good things in store for you, trust you can drop by occasionally and
tell us about some of them,

Bob

[someone in need]

Be strong and rest assured you have our prayers.

18 years with alcoholism is a LONG TIME and no doubt you deserve a
purple heart.

Am I incorrect to asume your husband had failed recovery, or even
attempted it?

I am going on one year with an alcoholic wife and starting to think a
trensfer to Iraq would be the less stressful choice.



I have a friend that attained sobriety after 20 years of alcoholism.
He is now clear as a bell and learned to be a computer systems
engineer.





On Tue, 01 Nov 2005 04:11:06 GMT, Dreamspinner3
<dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote:

>Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
>to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
>of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
>but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
>he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
>call 911.
>
>The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
>take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
>face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
>what had to be done.
>
>He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
>asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
>would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
>want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
>if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>
>I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
>only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
>insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
>me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
>him because he doesn't want to get better.
>
>I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
>arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
>pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
>down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>
>I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
>meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
>family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
>our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
>only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
>children, thank God.
>
>Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
>be strong.
>-----
>Kim/Dreamspinner3
>Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[Gail]

"Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
> call 911.
>
> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
> what had to be done.
>
> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>
> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>
> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>
> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> children, thank God.
>
> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
> be strong.
> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/


Kim, you and your husband will be in my prayers. I know this wasn't easy for
you. Prayer does work. God answers the prayers in His own time. I am finding
that out and I hope you do, too.
Take care,
Gail

[rosie read n' post]

"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>
> I am going on one year with an alcoholic wife and starting to think a
> trensfer to Iraq would be the less stressful choice.
>


now THERE is a drastic choice!
try ALANON first!

[rosie read n' post]

i am glad that you put your safety first and called the police.
giving your husband as much help as he needs (commitment) is another
good choice!
your both in my thoughts and prayers!
rosie




"Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
> call 911.
>
> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
> what had to be done.
>
> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>
> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>
> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>
> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> children, thank God.
>
> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
> be strong.
> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[Gail]

"Gail" <serenity6850_2000(removethis)@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:eqK9f.7817$7s1.6616@fe04.lga...
>
> "Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
>> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
>> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
>> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
>> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
>> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
>> call 911.
>>
>> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
>> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
>> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
>> what had to be done.
>>
>> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
>> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
>> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
>> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
>> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>>
>> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
>> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
>> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
>> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
>> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>>
>> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
>> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
>> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
>> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>>
>> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
>> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
>> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
>> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
>> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
>> children, thank God.
>>
>> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
>> be strong.
>> -----
>> Kim/Dreamspinner3
>> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
>
>
> Kim, you and your husband will be in my prayers. I know this wasn't easy
> for you. Prayer does work. God answers the prayers in His own time. I am
> finding that out and I hope you do, too.
> Take care,
> Gail
>

PS-I said the other day I was getting stronger. I meant that my faith was
getting stronger. I am a very weak person. I am making better decisions and
it appears you are to. ;) It may not seem like it, but something good will
come from all this one day. Believe that if you don't believe anything else
I say.

[dreamspinner3]

My husband has done outpatient recovery many, many times & had in & out
of AA throughout our relationship. He's never had inpatient treatment,
although I begged the doctors to commit him to it when he was in the
hospital earlier this year after having a surgery & breaking bones in
his face. He found out at that point that he's a diabetic as well.

I feel guilty for wanting out, for some reason! It is just terrible
the grip alcohol can gain over people & those around them. I really
doubt my husband will ever get better even though he is going to be
committed for treatment of alcoholism & mental illness according to his
doctor. He has a death wish, I really believe it.

[rosie read n' post]

> I feel guilty for wanting out, for some reason! It is just terrible
> the grip alcohol can gain over people & those around them.

yes, it is called CO-DEPENDANCY and it can wreck lives just like
alcoholism can.




>I really
> doubt my husband will ever get better even though he is going to be
> committed for treatment of alcoholism & mental illness according to
his
> doctor. He has a death wish, I really believe it.
>




yup! i think we all did, prior to surrender!

[dreamspinner3]

You are right about codependancy! I am the poster child for it. But I
am done. I can't take it anymore, I surrender to the fact that my life
is insane & that I need help.

[stuart]

"Robert McGregor" <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:4366f9fd_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
>
> "Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
>> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
>> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
>> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
>> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
>> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
>> call 911.
>>
>> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
>> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
>> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
>> what had to be done.
>>
>> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
>> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
>> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
>> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
>> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>>
>> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
>> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
>> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
>> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
>> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>>
>> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
>> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
>> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
>> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>>
>> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
>> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
>> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
>> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
>> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
>> children, thank God.
>>
>> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
>> be strong.
>> -----
>> Kim/Dreamspinner3
>> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
>
> Thanks for sharing your times with us. Certainly timely reminders of my
> own history, so saying a prayer for you and your pets in new and perhaps
> daunting freedom was a healthy moment, at least it was for me.
>
> Kim, wishing you strength to grasp the best of a future that holds good
> things in store for you, trust you can drop by occasionally and tell us
> about some of them,
>
> Bob

I knew all along you were actually a pretty decent fellow, Bob. Thanks for
sharing that....

[stuart]

dreamspinner3 <dreamspinner3@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:1130869003.732590.34610@z14g2000cwz.googlegro ups.com...
> My husband has done outpatient recovery many, many times & had in & out
> of AA throughout our relationship. He's never had inpatient treatment,
> although I begged the doctors to commit him to it when he was in the
> hospital earlier this year after having a surgery & breaking bones in
> his face. He found out at that point that he's a diabetic as well.
>
> I feel guilty for wanting out, for some reason! It is just terrible
> the grip alcohol can gain over people & those around them. I really
> doubt my husband will ever get better even though he is going to be
> committed for treatment of alcoholism & mental illness according to his
> doctor. He has a death wish, I really believe it.


No he doesn't. If he is an alcoholic, he is powerless over alcohol. That's
why attempting to scare a drunk into sobriety doesn't work.
BTW, alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.

[Dreamspinner3]

On Wed, 02 Nov 2005 01:36:50 GMT, "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote:

>No he doesn't. If he is an alcoholic, he is powerless over alcohol. That's
>why attempting to scare a drunk into sobriety doesn't work.
>BTW, alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.

You can't scare an alcoholic into sobriety, nope. No way, no how. It
is only when they reach bottom that it happens. For some people
bottom is dead. I think it will be for him. Who knows?

Yes, they take hostages.
-----
Kim/Dreamspinner3
Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[Bryan]

Dreamspinner3 wrote:
> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I had
> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken all
> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack me
> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it &
> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone to
> call 911.
>
> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on his
> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I did
> what had to be done.
>
> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore, not
> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
>
> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is the
> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear to
> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> him because he doesn't want to get better.
>
> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have six
> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it comes
> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
>
> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with my
> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my finances,
> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> children, thank God.
>
> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I must
> be strong.
> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
Your going through alot. I wish you well.

[stuart]

Dreamspinner3 <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:nbjgm15es03tqasstf9jh26v83nqhjjd6q@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 02 Nov 2005 01:36:50 GMT, "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote:
>
> >No he doesn't. If he is an alcoholic, he is powerless over alcohol.
That's
> >why attempting to scare a drunk into sobriety doesn't work.
> >BTW, alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.
>
> You can't scare an alcoholic into sobriety, nope. No way, no how. It
> is only when they reach bottom that it happens. For some people
> bottom is dead. I think it will be for him. Who knows?
>
> Yes, they take hostages.

My thoughts are with you. I like the quote of Sir Winston Churchill. "If you
are going thru' Hell... keep going." (or something to that effect)
Who knows, maybe leaving him just might his bottom. Are you lovingly
looking? Or are you intending to detach completely?
My advice to you, if I can offer you any, is to get an outside observer with
some wisdom and insight into these situations to ride shotgun with you. It's
very easy to do something counterproductive at this point.



> -----
> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/

[rosie read n' post]

"stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
news:LzT9f.96578$ir4.96575@edtnps90...
>
> "Robert McGregor" <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote in
message
> news:4366f9fd_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
> >
> > "Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
> >> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I
had
> >> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken
all
> >> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack
me
> >> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it
&
> >> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone
to
> >> call 911.
> >>
> >> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> >> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on
his
> >> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I
did
> >> what had to be done.
> >>
> >> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> >> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> >> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> >> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore,
not
> >> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
> >>
> >> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is
the
> >> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> >> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear
to
> >> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> >> him because he doesn't want to get better.
> >>
> >> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> >> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have
six
> >> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it
comes
> >> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
> >>
> >> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> >> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with
my
> >> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my
finances,
> >> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> >> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> >> children, thank God.
> >>
> >> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I
must
> >> be strong.
> >> -----
> >> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> >> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
> >
> > Thanks for sharing your times with us. Certainly timely reminders of
my
> > own history, so saying a prayer for you and your pets in new and
perhaps
> > daunting freedom was a healthy moment, at least it was for me.
> >
> > Kim, wishing you strength to grasp the best of a future that holds
good
> > things in store for you, trust you can drop by occasionally and tell
us
> > about some of them,
> >
> > Bob
>
> I knew all along you were actually a pretty decent fellow, Bob. Thanks
for
> sharing that....
>
>

"that's what i'm saying"
;)

[rosie read n' post]

GREAT advise stuart!






"stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:c84af.74006$S4.15980@edtnps84...
>
> Dreamspinner3 <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:nbjgm15es03tqasstf9jh26v83nqhjjd6q@4ax.com...
> > On Wed, 02 Nov 2005 01:36:50 GMT, "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote:
> >
> > >No he doesn't. If he is an alcoholic, he is powerless over alcohol.
> That's
> > >why attempting to scare a drunk into sobriety doesn't work.
> > >BTW, alcoholics don't have relationships, they take hostages.
> >
> > You can't scare an alcoholic into sobriety, nope. No way, no how.
It
> > is only when they reach bottom that it happens. For some people
> > bottom is dead. I think it will be for him. Who knows?
> >
> > Yes, they take hostages.
>
> My thoughts are with you. I like the quote of Sir Winston Churchill.
"If you
> are going thru' Hell... keep going." (or something to that effect)
> Who knows, maybe leaving him just might his bottom. Are you lovingly
> looking? Or are you intending to detach completely?
> My advice to you, if I can offer you any, is to get an outside
observer with
> some wisdom and insight into these situations to ride shotgun with
you. It's
> very easy to do something counterproductive at this point.
>
>
>
> > -----
> > Kim/Dreamspinner3
> > Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
>
>

[dreamspinner3]

I'm looking to detach completely. I am seeing a therapist & will
continue going to Alanon meetings.

He called me last night & I had to tell him that our dog killed one of
our parrots that had gotten out of its cage while I was at work
yesterday. I also told him I am going to file for divorce & that he
was going to be committed. He didn't become upset until I told him the
last part. His doctor told me that the only thing he's gotten upset
about is when he was told they are going to put him into treatment. So
it seems that he still doesn't believe that he's in need of serious
inpatient treatment.

[stuart]

rosie read n' post <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:JU4af.21564$1A1.9818@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>
> "stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
> news:LzT9f.96578$ir4.96575@edtnps90...
> >
> > "Robert McGregor" <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote in
> message
> > news:4366f9fd_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
> > >
> > > "Dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:54qdm1p206m00mi3vi3nqubqg5oheirnra@4ax.com...
> > >> Last night my alcoholic husband was taken away by the police. I
> had
> > >> to call them because he was so out of control & claimed he taken
> all
> > >> of his medication & that he would soon be dead. He didn't attack
> me
> > >> but he did try to rip one phone out of the wall when I was using it
> &
> > >> he lunged at me on the bed & grabbed me when I used my cell phone
> to
> > >> call 911.
> > >>
> > >> The police came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance to
> > >> take him away. He resisted the cops & got cut in the process on
> his
> > >> face. He was totally out of it & I was afraid for my safety. I
> did
> > >> what had to be done.
> > >>
> > >> He is being held for the next 72 hours on a psych hold & I've been
> > >> asked if I would sign commitment papers if need be, which I said I
> > >> would do. However I have also reached my bottom and have decided I
> > >> want out of our marriage. I can't keep living this way anymore,
> not
> > >> if I want to survive sane & unhurt.
> > >>
> > >> I've spent 18 years, as of tomorrow, living with this man. He is
> the
> > >> only man I've loved. And now, I finally know it is over. The
> > >> insanity of last night opened my eyes and has made it all to clear
> to
> > >> me that he is on the road to death. It will take a miracle to save
> > >> him because he doesn't want to get better.
> > >>
> > >> I've made some calls about getting a restraining order & making
> > >> arrangements to stay elsewhere if need be. The problem is I have
> six
> > >> pet bird, large ones, and a dog. I will leave them here if it
> comes
> > >> down to saving my life, but I must also try to think of them.
> > >>
> > >> I am just so overwhelmed with what I must do. I went to an Alanon
> > >> meeting tonight and I see my therapist tomorrow. I've spoken with
> my
> > >> family about financial help to get me out of this mess--my
> finances,
> > >> our finances are a total mess, we're in Chapter 13 right now. The
> > >> only property we have is the house, which has equity in it. No
> > >> children, thank God.
> > >>
> > >> Please consider praying for me because I'm going to need it. I
> must
> > >> be strong.
> > >> -----
> > >> Kim/Dreamspinner3
> > >> Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/
> > >
> > > Thanks for sharing your times with us. Certainly timely reminders of
> my
> > > own history, so saying a prayer for you and your pets in new and
> perhaps
> > > daunting freedom was a healthy moment, at least it was for me.
> > >
> > > Kim, wishing you strength to grasp the best of a future that holds
> good
> > > things in store for you, trust you can drop by occasionally and tell
> us
> > > about some of them,
> > >
> > > Bob
> >
> > I knew all along you were actually a pretty decent fellow, Bob. Thanks
> for
> > sharing that....
> >
> >
>
> "that's what i'm saying"
> ;)
I gotta quit yanking his yingyang. Not to say Bob can't defend himself.
He's a capable fellow.:-)

[Kai]

I'm so sorry, Kim.

Kai

[nomarriage.com]

On Tue, 01 Nov 2005 14:01:58 GMT, "rosie read n' post"
<readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote:

>
>"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>>
>> I am going on one year with an alcoholic wife and starting to think a
>> trensfer to Iraq would be the less stressful choice.
>>
>
>
>now THERE is a drastic choice!
>try ALANON first!
>
>
I am a grateful alanon member thank you. Just a little levity

[nomarriage.com]

On Wed, 02 Nov 2005 01:36:50 GMT, "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote:

>
>dreamspinner3 <dreamspinner3@gmx.net> wrote in message
>news:1130869003.732590.34610@z14g2000cwz.googlegro ups.com...
>> My husband has done outpatient recovery many, many times & had in & out
>> of AA throughout our relationship. He's never had inpatient treatment,
>> although I begged the doctors to commit him to it when he was in the
>> hospital earlier this year after having a surgery & breaking bones in
>> his face. He found out at that point that he's a diabetic as well.
>>
>> I feel guilty for wanting out, for some reason! It is just terrible
>> the grip alcohol can gain over people & those around them. I really
>> doubt my husband will ever get better even though he is going to be
>> committed for treatment of alcoholism & mental illness according to his
>> doctor. He has a death wish, I really believe it.
>
>
>No he doesn't. If he is an alcoholic, he is powerless over alcohol.
>


Not completely true because when the alcoholic decides to get his/her
life back many succeed. In doing so empower themselves against
alcohol.

[nomarriage.com]

On 2 Nov 2005 10:05:22 -0800, "dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmx.net>
wrote:

>I'm looking to detach completely. I am seeing a therapist & will
>continue going to Alanon meetings.
>
>He called me last night & I had to tell him that our dog killed one of
>our parrots that had gotten out of its cage while I was at work
>yesterday. I also told him I am going to file for divorce & that he
>was going to be committed. He didn't become upset until I told him the
>last part. His doctor told me that the only thing he's gotten upset
>about is when he was told they are going to put him into treatment. So
>it seems that he still doesn't believe that he's in need of serious
>inpatient treatment.
>

Denial is amazing and perhaps the most difficult stumbling block to
recovery.

[dreamspinner3]

I hope my husband does decide to get his life back, but he will have to
do it without me. I cannot see any future with him in my life that has
a positive outcome.

[dreamspinner3]

Denial is indeed amazing. It has often blinded me to how really bad my
life had become but no more. My eyes are open now & I need to save
myself. That is all I can do.

[Robert McGregor]

"stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:Tv7af.96254$Io.57049@clgrps13...
>
> rosie read n' post <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:JU4af.21564$1A1.9818@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
>>
>> "stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
>> news:LzT9f.96578$ir4.96575@edtnps90...
>> >
>> > I knew all along you were actually a pretty decent fellow, Bob.
>> > Thanks
>> for
>> > sharing that....
>> >
>> >
>>
>> "that's what i'm saying"
>> ;)
> I gotta quit yanking his yingyang. Not to say Bob can't defend
> himself.
> He's a capable fellow.:-)
>

Hahahaha, you two cunts do look funny using me as your dildo.
However, had you restrained yourselves 'till I got my nosepeg on, one
of you could have been tickled pink too!

((((((((((Bob))))))))))

[stuart]

Robert McGregor <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:4369503f_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
>
> "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
> news:Tv7af.96254$Io.57049@clgrps13...
> >
> > rosie read n' post <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:JU4af.21564$1A1.9818@tornado.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> >>
> >> "stuart" <ggo@feds.org> wrote in message
> >> news:LzT9f.96578$ir4.96575@edtnps90...
> >> >
> >> > I knew all along you were actually a pretty decent fellow, Bob.
> >> > Thanks
> >> for
> >> > sharing that....
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >> "that's what i'm saying"
> >> ;)
> > I gotta quit yanking his yingyang. Not to say Bob can't defend
> > himself.
> > He's a capable fellow.:-)
> >
>
> Hahahaha, you two cunts do look funny using me as your dildo.
> However, had you restrained yourselves 'till I got my nosepeg on, one
> of you could have been tickled pink too!
>
> ((((((((((Bob))))))))))

Hey Bob, this has nothing to do with the above conversation, but what does
the phrase/term "Fair dinkum" mean in Aussiespeak? Just curious...

[Robert McGregor]

"stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:zvgaf.96455$Io.83887@clgrps13...
>
> Hey Bob, this has nothing to do with the above conversation, but
> what does
> the phrase/term "Fair dinkum" mean in Aussiespeak? Just curious...
>

Hahahahahaha! Believing that inability to easily and adequately
explain indicates incomprehension of whatever the topic happens to
be, in this instance, I'll gladly permit paradox to predominate.

Fair dinkum, Stuart, if I ever learn how to explain real alcoholism
to a non alcoholic, or merely explain sight to a blind person, I
might even go an extra mile, and attempt explaining to you what fair
dinkum means.

Bob

[stuart]

Robert McGregor <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:4369af9f_1@news.iprimus.com.au...
>
> "stuart" <fred@nospam.com> wrote in message
> news:zvgaf.96455$Io.83887@clgrps13...
> >
> > Hey Bob, this has nothing to do with the above conversation, but
> > what does
> > the phrase/term "Fair dinkum" mean in Aussiespeak? Just curious...
> >
>
> Hahahahahaha! Believing that inability to easily and adequately
> explain indicates incomprehension of whatever the topic happens to
> be, in this instance, I'll gladly permit paradox to predominate.
>
> Fair dinkum, Stuart, if I ever learn how to explain real alcoholism
> to a non alcoholic, or merely explain sight to a blind person, I
> might even go an extra mile, and attempt explaining to you what fair
> dinkum means.
>
> Bob

HAHAHa. You are incredibly funny....Thought you'd see the irony in my
question....Witty man, thar' Bob.

[someone in need]

On 2 Nov 2005 13:19:20 -0800, "dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmx.net>
wrote:

>I hope my husband does decide to get his life back, but he will have to
>do it without me. I cannot see any future with him in my life that has
>a positive outcome.




My heart goes out to you. I have a 5 year old child and a lovely wife
both of which I adore. The wife has become alcoholic for about 12
months and I am doing the "detach with love" no enabling and hoping
she can somehow get into treatment. I will NOT do this for 18 years
though.

[dreamspinner3]

Put your child's welfare first. Growing up with an alcoholic parent is
no picnic, let me tell you. My mother was an alcoholic & it is very
obvious her illness had a profound effect on me. Please consider doing
whatever is necessary to get your daughter out of that situation, don't
think she is so young that it won't effect her because it will. She
WILL remember it, believe me.

[nat]

PLONK!


> Hahahaha, you two cunts do look funny using me as your dildo.
> However, had you restrained yourselves 'till I got my nosepeg on, one
> of you could have been tickled pink too!
>
> ((((((((((Bob))))))))))