Bonnie
05-08-2005, 07:32 PM
*
I think a moment of clarity just knocked me over the head BIG time.
something popped into my mind about emotional hangovers. I don't know
what happened, all of a sudden stuff just started coming to mind in a
different kind of way, it just keeps hitting me in the head, and quickly,
one right after another.
first the thing about emotional hangovers, then someone replied from
the ng and said this...
***************************************
FIRST A BIT OF HISTORY...
>
> 2 years ago in July 2003, (snip snip)
> ~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^
> "May the road always lead, where you need to be."
> ~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv
I dunno Bonnie. Been sitting here thinking about your post for a
couple of
hours and just a minute ago for some reason opened up my browser and
typed
into my Google Bar the following phrase...
"volunteer opportunities to make other's lives better"
and got 220,000 hits. Perhaps that may be a road to where you need to
be at
present.
************************************************** **
and then my brain started talking to me on a different level than it
has in a long time,
it says, thinks, however you want to put it....
yes, service work, out of self and into others, then it said... pour
me, pour me, pour me another drink, and then it said out of the problem and
into the solution and you have been so caught up in the forest that you
couldn't see the trees, one thing at a time bonnie, and you haven't been
able to do anything or feel good enough to do anything because you aren't
spiritually right and that you are worrying about not overdoing it coz you
don't want to end up flat on your back in bed again, so you don't do
anything, but that isn't the answer, you don't have to worry about overdoing
it if you just do one thing at a time, what is right in front of you to
do... and then... for some reason the story that I use to share of my ESH
with others popped into my mind and played itself to me and then other
stuff, like in a meeting when someone would share what was going onwith them
and I would think, if you just say the 3rd step prayer over it and let it
go, it's no big deal and you can suffer as long as you choose too etc... and
then it said, you've been sober before and you know what it takes to be
sober and you know what going to any lengths entails and you have been in
your own way because you have been thinking about it all wrong, you have
been thinking it is too hard and you have been setting yourself up to fail
because the easier softer way is to go to any lengths... when you moved to
orlando in sept 2001, you had no job and no car, your's was broke down and
you were in a rental and you had no money and no place to live. You got a
job within a week and a hotel room within a week... you made it and when
your car got fixed and it kept breaking down on the way to work and you had
to leave 2 hours early to get to a job that was only 20 minutes away from
where you lived, you didn't get mad, you got out your meditation books and
read them as you kept turning the key over until the car started and you did
the 3rd step prayer on every aspect of your life and before you knew it you
had an apt of your own and then a roommate... and what's wrong with you
goofball, did you forget that the hardest way to do it is the way you have
been doing it for the past couple of years since you relapsed. sheesh..
okay... that said, I have to get off of here and finish cooking my
supper. I have some AA work to do PLUS I have to call the AA hotline and
find the meeting closest to me and the days and times and then I have to get
there. If there isn't one tonite, there will be one tomorrow, I have my
alarm set on my cell phone for a daily reminder at 9:20 that there is an
online meeting at 9:30 and I am going to share if all I do is say hi...
where has all this clarity been, why did it go away... oh well that
doesn't matter, why is a management question and I'm not in management, mine
is to just do and not question... I remember that from before too.
thanks for listening,
hugs
bonnie
**
*
*
*-- *
*~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^*
*"May the road always lead, where you need to be."*
*~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv
I think a moment of clarity just knocked me over the head BIG time.
something popped into my mind about emotional hangovers. I don't know
what happened, all of a sudden stuff just started coming to mind in a
different kind of way, it just keeps hitting me in the head, and quickly,
one right after another.
first the thing about emotional hangovers, then someone replied from
the ng and said this...
***************************************
FIRST A BIT OF HISTORY...
>
> 2 years ago in July 2003, (snip snip)
> ~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^
> "May the road always lead, where you need to be."
> ~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv
I dunno Bonnie. Been sitting here thinking about your post for a
couple of
hours and just a minute ago for some reason opened up my browser and
typed
into my Google Bar the following phrase...
"volunteer opportunities to make other's lives better"
and got 220,000 hits. Perhaps that may be a road to where you need to
be at
present.
************************************************** **
and then my brain started talking to me on a different level than it
has in a long time,
it says, thinks, however you want to put it....
yes, service work, out of self and into others, then it said... pour
me, pour me, pour me another drink, and then it said out of the problem and
into the solution and you have been so caught up in the forest that you
couldn't see the trees, one thing at a time bonnie, and you haven't been
able to do anything or feel good enough to do anything because you aren't
spiritually right and that you are worrying about not overdoing it coz you
don't want to end up flat on your back in bed again, so you don't do
anything, but that isn't the answer, you don't have to worry about overdoing
it if you just do one thing at a time, what is right in front of you to
do... and then... for some reason the story that I use to share of my ESH
with others popped into my mind and played itself to me and then other
stuff, like in a meeting when someone would share what was going onwith them
and I would think, if you just say the 3rd step prayer over it and let it
go, it's no big deal and you can suffer as long as you choose too etc... and
then it said, you've been sober before and you know what it takes to be
sober and you know what going to any lengths entails and you have been in
your own way because you have been thinking about it all wrong, you have
been thinking it is too hard and you have been setting yourself up to fail
because the easier softer way is to go to any lengths... when you moved to
orlando in sept 2001, you had no job and no car, your's was broke down and
you were in a rental and you had no money and no place to live. You got a
job within a week and a hotel room within a week... you made it and when
your car got fixed and it kept breaking down on the way to work and you had
to leave 2 hours early to get to a job that was only 20 minutes away from
where you lived, you didn't get mad, you got out your meditation books and
read them as you kept turning the key over until the car started and you did
the 3rd step prayer on every aspect of your life and before you knew it you
had an apt of your own and then a roommate... and what's wrong with you
goofball, did you forget that the hardest way to do it is the way you have
been doing it for the past couple of years since you relapsed. sheesh..
okay... that said, I have to get off of here and finish cooking my
supper. I have some AA work to do PLUS I have to call the AA hotline and
find the meeting closest to me and the days and times and then I have to get
there. If there isn't one tonite, there will be one tomorrow, I have my
alarm set on my cell phone for a daily reminder at 9:20 that there is an
online meeting at 9:30 and I am going to share if all I do is say hi...
where has all this clarity been, why did it go away... oh well that
doesn't matter, why is a management question and I'm not in management, mine
is to just do and not question... I remember that from before too.
thanks for listening,
hugs
bonnie
**
*
*
*-- *
*~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~^^^^^*
*"May the road always lead, where you need to be."*
*~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv~~~~~vvvvv