Advice wanted

[Jim]

Hello everyone.

I have been reaing this news group for a while on behalf of my wife.

I wanted to understand what she was going through.

This has been very difficult for me because...
I had a cocaine problem.

And I beat it.

I had a food problem.

And I beat it.

I had an alcohol problem...

And I thought I beat it.

Since my wife got sober I have had a harder and harder time staying sober.

I gave her an ultimatum.

Get sober or I am out of here!!!

I haven't been able to stay sober since then.

I hide alcohol( usually Vodka so she can't smell it.)

I just don't get it.

I was able to stay sober when she was drinking but can't now.

She called today from work. I'm pretty sure she knew I was drunk. And kept
asking me if anything was wrong.

Of course I said no.

Why is it so hard for me to say sober all of a sudden???
Why can't I take the advice that I keep giving my wife on staying sober.

And why do I keep hittng the a button so hard that it keeps -printing aa
instead of a.

I tried aa many years ago. It only made me want to drink more. I am happy
that it has worked for my wife. I just want to know why I can't get sober
all of aa sudden.

Any one out there with any ideas???

[Robert McGregor]

"Jim" <bzdadde@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:9NXTa.4146$Sp3.1360@newssvr17.news.prodigy.co m...
> Hello everyone.
>
> I have been reaing this news group for a while on behalf of my wife.
>
> I wanted to understand what she was going through.
>
> This has been very difficult for me because...
> I had a cocaine problem.
>
> And I beat it.
>
> I had a food problem.
>
> And I beat it.
>
> I had an alcohol problem...
>
> And I thought I beat it.
>
> Since my wife got sober I have had a harder and harder time staying sober.
>
> I gave her an ultimatum.
>
> Get sober or I am out of here!!!
>
> I haven't been able to stay sober since then.
>
> I hide alcohol( usually Vodka so she can't smell it.)
>
> I just don't get it.
>
> I was able to stay sober when she was drinking but can't now.
>
> She called today from work. I'm pretty sure she knew I was drunk. And kept
> asking me if anything was wrong.
>
> Of course I said no.
>
> Why is it so hard for me to say sober all of a sudden???
> Why can't I take the advice that I keep giving my wife on staying sober.
>
> And why do I keep hittng the a button so hard that it keeps -printing aa
> instead of a.
>
> I tried aa many years ago. It only made me want to drink more. I am happy
> that it has worked for my wife. I just want to know why I can't get sober
> all of aa sudden.
>
> Any one out there with any ideas???
>

Did you try the AA meetings, or the AA program?

Bob

My guess and perhaps educated at that ... is that you don't want to (stay
sober) I wish you good luck and hard work.Sounds like you need to (deserve
to) stop your digging and or stop your running around in your hole.
Don't you think that in order to really stop you 'll need to not deny you
have a problem. I think that anyone who has started to learn about any
serious recovery program that it's not sensible to say I HAD a problem
with...drugs,alcohol ect.
I myself have not to this day gone to anything else but AA meetings for a
few 24 hours. But the advice out there when you share with the right people
could let you know to go to other meetings that assist the alcoholic to get
a foothold,toehold,fingerhold or whatever to stay sober.
I say this again,as it always has been dangerous for some to drink and even
more dangerous for others.I wish you and others like yourself the best.
But you have to go work for it.

"Jim" <bzdadde@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:9NXTa.4146$Sp3.1360@newssvr17.news.prodigy.co m...
> Hello everyone.
>
> I have been reaing this news group for a while on behalf of my wife.
>
> I wanted to understand what she was going through.
>
> This has been very difficult for me because...
> I had a cocaine problem.
>
> And I beat it.
>
> I had a food problem.
>
> And I beat it.
>
> I had an alcohol problem...
>
> And I thought I beat it.
>
> Since my wife got sober I have had a harder and harder time staying sober.
>
> I gave her an ultimatum.
>
> Get sober or I am out of here!!!
>
> I haven't been able to stay sober since then.
>
> I hide alcohol( usually Vodka so she can't smell it.)
>
> I just don't get it.
>
> I was able to stay sober when she was drinking but can't now.
>
> She called today from work. I'm pretty sure she knew I was drunk. And kept
> asking me if anything was wrong.
>
> Of course I said no.
>
> Why is it so hard for me to say sober all of a sudden???
> Why can't I take the advice that I keep giving my wife on staying sober.
>
> And why do I keep hittng the a button so hard that it keeps -printing aa
> instead of a.
>
> I tried aa many years ago. It only made me want to drink more. I am happy
> that it has worked for my wife. I just want to know why I can't get sober
> all of aa sudden.
>
> Any one out there with any ideas???
>
>

[Gail]

tomsteelerman@bluefrog.biz wrote:
> My guess and perhaps educated at that ... is that you don't want to
> (stay sober) I wish you good luck and hard work.Sounds like you need
> to (deserve to) stop your digging and or stop your running around in
> your hole. Don't you think that in order to really stop you 'll need
> to not deny you have a problem. I think that anyone who has started
> to learn about any serious recovery program that it's not sensible to
> say I HAD a problem with...drugs,alcohol ect.
> I myself have not to this day gone to anything else but AA meetings
> for a few 24 hours. But the advice out there when you share with the
> right people could let you know to go to other meetings that assist
> the alcoholic to get a foothold,toehold,fingerhold or whatever to
> stay sober. I say this again,as it always has been dangerous for
> some to drink and even more dangerous for others.I wish you and
> others like yourself the best. But you have to go work for it.
>
> "Jim" <bzdadde@prodigy.net> wrote in message
> news:9NXTa.4146$Sp3.1360@newssvr17.news.prodigy.co m...
>> Hello everyone.
>>
>> I have been reaing this news group for a while on behalf of my wife.
>>
>> I wanted to understand what she was going through.
>>
>> This has been very difficult for me because...
>> I had a cocaine problem.
>>
>> And I beat it.
>>
>> I had a food problem.
>>
>> And I beat it.
>>
>> I had an alcohol problem...
>>
>> And I thought I beat it.
>>
>> Since my wife got sober I have had a harder and harder time staying
>> sober.
>>
>> I gave her an ultimatum.
>>
>> Get sober or I am out of here!!!
>>
>> I haven't been able to stay sober since then.
>>
>> I hide alcohol( usually Vodka so she can't smell it.)
>>
>> I just don't get it.
>>
>> I was able to stay sober when she was drinking but can't now.
>>
>> She called today from work. I'm pretty sure she knew I was drunk.
>> And kept asking me if anything was wrong.
>>
>> Of course I said no.
>>
>> Why is it so hard for me to say sober all of a sudden???
>> Why can't I take the advice that I keep giving my wife on staying
>> sober.
>>
>> And why do I keep hittng the a button so hard that it keeps
>> -printing aa instead of a.
>>
>> I tried aa many years ago. It only made me want to drink more. I am
>> happy that it has worked for my wife. I just want to know why I
>> can't get sober all of aa sudden.
>>
>> Any one out there with any ideas???

Hey. Have you and your wife drank all the time you have been married? If so,
neither of you ever got to know the real you's. When one of the two sober's
up, the other doesn't know how to deal with the sober person. Life as
changed for both of you. She is learning and doing what she has to do to
stay sober. Are you feeling resentment towards her for being able to do it?
When I got sober, my kids said they liked me better when I was drunk. That
was because I gave them money and shit just to make them happy or get out of
my hair so that I could drink to oblivian. She may have gotten sober because
of your ultimatum and found out that she wanted to sta sober for her. You
are going to have to want to get sober and do what ever it takes even if it
means going to meetings and working the steps of AA and doing what is
suggested. Hell, I hate meetings and they are not what is keeping me sober
or making me want to drink. If I drink, it is because I choose to. All the
program of AA requires of you is to have the desire not to drink. Hope you
will give it another go..;) I listen to the suggestions of people who have
gotten and are sober and do what they suggest to do. Believe me, that ain't
easy for this ole gal. I want to do it my way all to often.
Best,
Gail