Day one

[jimf@ev1.net]

Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety. I was going for 60
days and came up a bit short. I am not worried about today, but I am
worried about tomorrow. Tomorrow will either be day two of drinking
or day one of a new sobriety. I've been taking it a day at a time,
trying to plan my day to not drink. To fill the time, I've been
reading books I really didn't want to read and seeing movies I really
didn't want to see. Doing nothing sober was better than having a
great time drunk was my plan.

However, I messed up today. I have been worried about today for a
while and take full responsibility for it. I work at home and had
today off (MLK day). My routine was disrupted and I used this as an
excuse to drink. I can't justify it. It is what it is.

If it matters, I am a 34 year old married male, no children. I have
been drinking for about 18 years. I am a binge drinker. My drink of
choice is vodka, and usually a lot of it. I have been through the
misery of withdrawal several times and I sincerely don't want to go
through that again. My wife doesn't drink.

I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six
weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next week,
and next month, but now I have reason to worry.

Thanks for your time.

Jim in Houston

[DaveB]

On Mon, 17 Jan 2005 20:45:04 GMT, jimf@ev1.net wrote:

>
>Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety. I was going for 60
>days and came up a bit short. I am not worried about today, but I am
>worried about tomorrow. Tomorrow will either be day two of drinking
>or day one of a new sobriety. I've been taking it a day at a time,
>trying to plan my day to not drink. To fill the time, I've been
>reading books I really didn't want to read and seeing movies I really
>didn't want to see. Doing nothing sober was better than having a
>great time drunk was my plan.
>
>However, I messed up today. I have been worried about today for a
>while and take full responsibility for it. I work at home and had
>today off (MLK day). My routine was disrupted and I used this as an
>excuse to drink. I can't justify it. It is what it is.
>
>If it matters, I am a 34 year old married male, no children. I have
>been drinking for about 18 years. I am a binge drinker. My drink of
>choice is vodka, and usually a lot of it. I have been through the
>misery of withdrawal several times and I sincerely don't want to go
>through that again. My wife doesn't drink.
>
>I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
>yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six
>weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next week,
>and next month, but now I have reason to worry.
>
>Thanks for your time.
>
>Jim in Houston


Jim

Your only human and do what alcoholics do best (drink) as soon as you
learn to live in the day that you are in and not yesterday, it will be
easier.

Dont have any expectations (get you drunk) take it easy and keep it
simple.

Good Luck

>
>

Daveb

[Joe Jared]

jimf@ev1.net wrote:
>
> I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
> yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six

You don't have to. Suffering is optional. You can minimize the problem
by getting sober again.

> weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next week,
> and next month, but now I have reason to worry.

One suggestion might be to plan out your meetings in the same way you
planned out your drinking. Lately I'm facing my most difficult
challenges ever, of the nature of accepting my limitations, and putting
1 foot in front of the other, however small the step. I'm almost
through to the other side, but it has been the most painful experience
ever, and one that has growth attached to it. If I drank, at this
point, I would lose everything. When I hear some of the silly reasons
people drink, I have to laugh, because that's how I am.

It's not a traumatic event that gets me drinking. It's some terminally
stupid idea. Here are a few of them

In 1999, I had this brilliant idea. "I think I'll drink instead of
smoke". That one got me.
About 6 months after a girlfriend left, who was an alanon, self though,
"She's gone, I can probably drink okay now." That one got me.
At around 6 months sober, "Maybe I don't have to include marijuana in my
sobriety". That time, the secretary of a meeting asked me to lead, and
I told on myself, and the thought passed without incident. On Day 412,
I had a coffee with creamer that reminded me of Irish Cream and coffee,
and caught myself romancing that drink. Near miss. My next drink will
involve something extremely important, like a hang nail. It wont be
that my wife is ill, as working through her illness requires that I stay
sober. Today, I'm at 581 days.

[rosie readandpost]

: >
: >I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
: >yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from
ruining six
: >weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next
week,
: >and next month, but now I have reason to worry.
: >
: >Thanks for your time.
: >
: >Jim in Houston
:
:

jim,
the first thing i would advise is to STOP beating yourself
up......................all that mental injury will only convince
you that you must drink again, to stop the pain!

when my behavior becomes alcoholic in nature, i always ask
myself....................."what's the payoff"
so jim, what's yours?

((((((((((((((((((jim)))))))))))))))))))))))
start today by sobering up and finding an AA meeting where you can
talk FACE TO FACE with others in recovery!

rosie

[Mias]

Hi Jim
It is not important how many time you fall. It IS important however that you
get up the LAST time...
Today is the first day of the rest of your life...
Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, Tomorrow is a prommisory not. Today is
CASH!
Start today. Live it one day at a time. It works. Has brought me to about
5680 plus days one day at a time.
Every day not drinking is glorious to me.
Every day it gets better, even now.
Kind regards
Do it!
Mias
<jimf@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:6u8ou05ab80oeffr3k4d7rqfuvvc3mkcce@4ax.com...
>
> Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety. I was going for 60
> days and came up a bit short. I am not worried about today, but I am
> worried about tomorrow. Tomorrow will either be day two of drinking
> or day one of a new sobriety. I've been taking it a day at a time,
> trying to plan my day to not drink. To fill the time, I've been
> reading books I really didn't want to read and seeing movies I really
> didn't want to see. Doing nothing sober was better than having a
> great time drunk was my plan.
>
> However, I messed up today. I have been worried about today for a
> while and take full responsibility for it. I work at home and had
> today off (MLK day). My routine was disrupted and I used this as an
> excuse to drink. I can't justify it. It is what it is.
>
> If it matters, I am a 34 year old married male, no children. I have
> been drinking for about 18 years. I am a binge drinker. My drink of
> choice is vodka, and usually a lot of it. I have been through the
> misery of withdrawal several times and I sincerely don't want to go
> through that again. My wife doesn't drink.
>
> I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
> yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six
> weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next week,
> and next month, but now I have reason to worry.
>
> Thanks for your time.
>
> Jim in Houston
>
>

[Bobby L]

<jimf@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:6u8ou05ab80oeffr3k4d7rqfuvvc3mkcce@4ax.com...
>
> Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety.

Great Jim...

Let us know when you decide to take your last drink instead of just your
latest.

Bobby L

[Nat]

<jimf@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:6u8ou05ab80oeffr3k4d7rqfuvvc3mkcce@4ax.com...
>
> Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety. I was going for 60
> days and came up a bit short.

> ...I messed up today. I have been worried about today for a
> while and take full responsibility for it. I work at home and had
> today off (MLK day). My routine was disrupted and I used this as an
> excuse to drink. I can't justify it. It is what it is.

> If it matters, I am a 34 year old married male, no children. I have
> been drinking for about 18 years. I am a binge drinker. My drink of
> choice is vodka, and usually a lot of it.

> I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
> yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six
> weeks of work? >
> Jim

Hi Jim:
I don't see anything ruined. I sobered up originally in 1986. Had 14 years
of service connected sobriety. Then (to shorten the story) I decided I was
"cured" and stopped going to meetings. A year later I resumed drinking. This
time it took only 3 years to put me back into a treatment center in Searcy,
AR. I've been sober now about 7 months.

Did I "ruin" the 14 years? Certainly not...it all came flooding back to me
in treatment when I sat listening to a guest AA speaker; Max, the man who
had sobered up 2 years after me and I used to call "A beginner".

All that was ruined was my overblown ego. I now know for SURE that I can
NOT handle sobriety on my own. IOW: my recent drinking bout was a learning
experience that greatly improved my sobriety.

Hang in there, Jim. It DOES get better.

Nat
Oxford, Arkansas

[Mark]

Hey Jim, I can identify with you. I have a problem with binge drinking
Vodka and also "messed up" this last weekend. I went 2 months without a
drink and without any major cravings since my last slip up...then out
of the blue it hit me. The hardest part for me is that I can't figure
out why. I was not sad, happy, bored or lonely. (prior excuses)

Thankfully I only drank for two days (Sunday and Monday) so I don't
think I am going to go through the horror of withdrawal this time.

Do you go to AA meetings? I have never tried AA, thought I could do
this on willpower but now I am open to any suggestion as I seem to be
failing on my own.

[John Royer]

Maybe this will help.



Main : Attitude : Worry
Two Days We Should Not Worry
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown


There are two days in every week about which we should not
worry,
two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise,
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will
rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful
eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened
Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.




<jimf@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:6u8ou05ab80oeffr3k4d7rqfuvvc3mkcce@4ax.com...
>
> Today is day 42 of my latest attempt at sobriety. I was going for 60
> days and came up a bit short. I am not worried about today, but I am
> worried about tomorrow. Tomorrow will either be day two of drinking
> or day one of a new sobriety. I've been taking it a day at a time,
> trying to plan my day to not drink. To fill the time, I've been
> reading books I really didn't want to read and seeing movies I really
> didn't want to see. Doing nothing sober was better than having a
> great time drunk was my plan.
>
> However, I messed up today. I have been worried about today for a
> while and take full responsibility for it. I work at home and had
> today off (MLK day). My routine was disrupted and I used this as an
> excuse to drink. I can't justify it. It is what it is.
>
> If it matters, I am a 34 year old married male, no children. I have
> been drinking for about 18 years. I am a binge drinker. My drink of
> choice is vodka, and usually a lot of it. I have been through the
> misery of withdrawal several times and I sincerely don't want to go
> through that again. My wife doesn't drink.
>
> I guess my question is this... How in the hell do you forgive
> yourself for such a slip? How do you prevent ONE DAY from ruining six
> weeks of work? I fully expect to be sober tomorrow, and next week,
> and next month, but now I have reason to worry.
>
> Thanks for your time.
>
> Jim in Houston
>
>