Resolving Fear

[JB]

The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try
for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then
we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal
constructively with whatever fears remains - As Bill Sees It, page 61

Recently, a lady who I've come to know through attending f2f AA
meetings, has expressed fears about a forthcoming trip abroad that she
and her husband have decided to make. This lady is struggling to stay
not drinking and often finds life both when she is and is not
drinking, very difficult to cope with. In the few months that have
passed since our first meeting, she has twice attempted to commit
suicide. From what I know about her, it appears to me that AA's 12
Steps and other AA teachings have yet to make a significant difference
to her life.

While thinking about this lady; about the advice she's been given when
she has expressed fears; and about the possibility that only a power
greater than human power can take away our fears, I got to thinking
about the possibility that you guys have fears. Also, whether you have
today fewer fears than in the past and if so why, and also, whether
you've ever used fear as an excuse to drink alcohol.

Rightly or wrongly, I'm having thoughts that if this post generates
responses, maybe some of those responses could provide info from which
someone could gain benefit.

Yours in friendship

JB

[John Royer]

It seems to me that this lady is not confronting the issues that make her
want to drink in the first place. Yes, God can do it all but most of the
time he wants us to do some of the work too. It reminds me of the old joke
about the person who prays to God to win the lottery but never does win. In
frustration he prays one more time and asks why his request was not granted.
A voice from above says " Do me a favour my son, BUY A TICKET!"
Well we can pray for help but it's up to us to buy the ticket.
Dontcha think?

JR
Nov 03 2004
And I've NEVER looked back.
But I'm doing the work I need to do to make sure that I don't.

[Robert McGregor]

"John Royer" <john.royer2@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:4JEFd.32556$b64.1016877@news20.bellglobal.com ...
> It seems to me that this lady is not confronting the issues that
> make her want to drink in the first place. Yes, God can do it all
> but most of the time he wants us to do some of the work too. It
> reminds me of the old joke about the person who prays to God to win
> the lottery but never does win. In frustration he prays one more
> time and asks why his request was not granted. A voice from above
> says " Do me a favour my son, BUY A TICKET!"
> Well we can pray for help but it's up to us to buy the ticket.
> Dontcha think?
>
> JR
> Nov 03 2004
> And I've NEVER looked back.

Really? And how did you determine those "issues" without ever looking
back?


Bob, who is less than cynical about those assuming sufficient
equality with "God" to generalise what "God" wants.

[[[]]]

"JB" <JBCatRB@coldman.com> wrote in message
news:cs6k2v$n97$1@newsg3.svr.pol.co.uk...
> The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try
> for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then
> we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal
> constructively with whatever fears remains - As Bill Sees It, page 61
>
> Recently, a lady who I've come to know through attending f2f AA
> meetings, has expressed fears about a forthcoming trip abroad that she
> and her husband have decided to make. This lady is struggling to stay
> not drinking and often finds life both when she is and is not
> drinking, very difficult to cope with. In the few months that have
> passed since our first meeting, she has twice attempted to commit
> suicide. From what I know about her, it appears to me that AA's 12
> Steps and other AA teachings have yet to make a significant difference
> to her life.
>
> While thinking about this lady; about the advice she's been given when
> she has expressed fears; and about the possibility that only a power
> greater than human power can take away our fears, I got to thinking
> about the possibility that you guys have fears. Also, whether you have
> today fewer fears than in the past and if so why, and also, whether
> you've ever used fear as an excuse to drink alcohol.
>
> Rightly or wrongly, I'm having thoughts that if this post generates
> responses, maybe some of those responses could provide info from which
> someone could gain benefit.
>
> Yours in friendship
>
> JB


JB- (thanks for bringing this forward) All I had in the end before getting
sober were my fears and booze. They seemed to chase each others tail without
end until finally and gratefully, I spun out of (my hopeless) control.

Today as hard as it is for me, I try to grab on to my fears; try them on,
feel them through and try to image the worst my fears could bring me. Facing
the worst makes my fears seem a lot less frightening...almost exciting in a
strange way, knowing now I have the tools to face them honestly and head-on
without running down the neck of another bottle.

-Steve

[rosie readandpost]

its an interesting observation JB.
perhaps the lady your talking about needs MORE than just AA?
often "the 12 steps" must be put on hold, while mental health is
attended to!


--
rosie

search for WMD is over............quietly!
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1802&e=9&u=/washpost/20050112/ts_washpost/a2129_2005jan11




"[[]]" <[[]]@[[]].com> wrote in message
news:ebGFd.54117$xx1.41102@fe22.usenetserver.com.. .
:
: "JB" <JBCatRB@coldman.com> wrote in message
: news:cs6k2v$n97$1@newsg3.svr.pol.co.uk...
: > The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to
try
: > for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain.
Then
: > we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal
: > constructively with whatever fears remains - As Bill Sees It,
page 61
: >
: > Recently, a lady who I've come to know through attending f2f AA
: > meetings, has expressed fears about a forthcoming trip abroad
that she
: > and her husband have decided to make. This lady is struggling to
stay
: > not drinking and often finds life both when she is and is not
: > drinking, very difficult to cope with. In the few months that
have
: > passed since our first meeting, she has twice attempted to
commit
: > suicide. From what I know about her, it appears to me that AA's
12
: > Steps and other AA teachings have yet to make a significant
difference
: > to her life.
: >
: > While thinking about this lady; about the advice she's been
given when
: > she has expressed fears; and about the possibility that only a
power
: > greater than human power can take away our fears, I got to
thinking
: > about the possibility that you guys have fears. Also, whether
you have
: > today fewer fears than in the past and if so why, and also,
whether
: > you've ever used fear as an excuse to drink alcohol.
: >
: > Rightly or wrongly, I'm having thoughts that if this post
generates
: > responses, maybe some of those responses could provide info from
which
: > someone could gain benefit.
: >
: > Yours in friendship
: >
: > JB
:
:
: JB- (thanks for bringing this forward) All I had in the end before
getting
: sober were my fears and booze. They seemed to chase each others
tail without
: end until finally and gratefully, I spun out of (my hopeless)
control.
:
: Today as hard as it is for me, I try to grab on to my fears; try
them on,
: feel them through and try to image the worst my fears could bring
me. Facing
: the worst makes my fears seem a lot less frightening...almost
exciting in a
: strange way, knowing now I have the tools to face them honestly
and head-on
: without running down the neck of another bottle.
:
: -Steve
:
:
:
:

[rosie readandpost]

steve,
often times when fears pop up, i like to play:
"what's the worst that can happen"
game............................usually the fear is resolved.

--
rosie

search for WMD is over............quietly!
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1802&e=9&u=/washpost/20050112/ts_washpost/a2129_2005jan11




"[[]]" <[[]]@[[]].com> wrote in message
news:ebGFd.54117$xx1.41102@fe22.usenetserver.com.. .
:
:
: JB- (thanks for bringing this forward) All I had in the end before
getting
: sober were my fears and booze. They seemed to chase each others
tail without
: end until finally and gratefully, I spun out of (my hopeless)
control.
:
: Today as hard as it is for me, I try to grab on to my fears; try
them on,
: feel them through and try to image the worst my fears could bring
me. Facing
: the worst makes my fears seem a lot less frightening...almost
exciting in a
: strange way, knowing now I have the tools to face them honestly
and head-on
: without running down the neck of another bottle.
:
: -Steve
:
:
:
:

[Nat]

> It reminds me of the old joke about the person who prays to God to win the
> > lottery but never does win.

> A voice from above says " Do me a favour my son, BUY A TICKET!"

More than once I heard in a meeting, "If you're hungry, don't sit in the
closet and pray...GET A JOB!"

nat

[John Royer]

Counselling, introspection and honesty with myself and with others. I don't
know where you got the idea that I KNOW what God wants. I do know we are
born with free will. So that we could do some of the work ourselves.
Cynicism can be healthy, but in this case misplaced. Why so confrontational?
Or do people who actually can make it, bother you?

[rosie readandpost]

i always liked:

"HP, doesn't do our footwork for us!"
i like to remind folks who say they are "turning it over" that we
need to do the footwork FIRST!

--
rosie

http://www.truthout.org/fyi/



"Nat" <n515hoop@centurytel.net> wrote in message
news:T86dncEVx_0Yt3XcRVn-jg@centurytel.net...
: > It reminds me of the old joke about the person who prays to God
to win the
: > > lottery but never does win.
:
: > A voice from above says " Do me a favour my son, BUY A TICKET!"
:
: More than once I heard in a meeting, "If you're hungry, don't sit
in the
: closet and pray...GET A JOB!"
:
: nat
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:

[jim]

That's what Robert does,he confronts everybody except himself.
"John Royer" <john.royer2@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:TvYFd.50184$TN6.1889502@news20.bellglobal.com ...
> Counselling, introspection and honesty with myself and with others. I
> don't know where you got the idea that I KNOW what God wants. I do know we
> are born with free will. So that we could do some of the work ourselves.
> Cynicism can be healthy, but in this case misplaced. Why so
> confrontational? Or do people who actually can make it, bother you?
>

[jim]

and usually the worst that can happen is in fact the worst thing that could
happen which could really be a bad thing when you think about it.
" rosie readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:lgQFd.116129$NO5.111413@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> steve,
> often times when fears pop up, i like to play:
> "what's the worst that can happen"
> game............................usually the fear is resolved.
>
> --
> rosie
>
> search for WMD is over............quietly!
> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1802&e=9&u=/washpost/20050112/ts_washpost/a2129_2005jan11
>
>
>
>
> "[[]]" <[[]]@[[]].com> wrote in message
> news:ebGFd.54117$xx1.41102@fe22.usenetserver.com.. .
> :
> :
> : JB- (thanks for bringing this forward) All I had in the end before
> getting
> : sober were my fears and booze. They seemed to chase each others
> tail without
> : end until finally and gratefully, I spun out of (my hopeless)
> control.
> :
> : Today as hard as it is for me, I try to grab on to my fears; try
> them on,
> : feel them through and try to image the worst my fears could bring
> me. Facing
> : the worst makes my fears seem a lot less frightening...almost
> exciting in a
> : strange way, knowing now I have the tools to face them honestly
> and head-on
> : without running down the neck of another bottle.
> :
> : -Steve
> :
> :
> :
> :
>
>

[james]

jim wrote:

> That's what Robert does,he confronts everybody except himself.
> "John Royer" <john.royer2@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
> news:TvYFd.50184$TN6.1889502@news20.bellglobal.com ...
>> Counselling, introspection and honesty with myself and with others. I
>> don't know where you got the idea that I KNOW what God wants. I do know
>> we are born with free will. So that we could do some of the work
>> ourselves. Cynicism can be healthy, but in this case misplaced. Why so
>> confrontational? Or do people who actually can make it, bother you?
>>
testing