Re: Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply And Sources of Supply

[The Reiterator]

Virtualoso wrote:
> In article <3F149B58.4198B666@earthlink2001.net>, Buddy H.
> <buddy-51@earthlink2001.net> wrote:
>
>> Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply And Sources of Supply
>> (faq page 76)
>>
>>
>> [snip]
>>
>> The narcissist ... are usually also connected to past unresolved
>> conflicts with important Primary Objects (parents or caregivers).
>> They invoke these conflicts, encourage transference and provoke
>> the onset ...
>>

[Mercy snip]

Yawn.....

Psychobabble

Keep coming back

[Buddy H.]

The Reiterator wrote:
> Keep coming back



Self Love and Narcissism
(faq page 23)

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq23.html

http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm

Question:

What is the difference between self-love and narcissism and how
does it affect the capacity to love others?

Answer:

There are two differences: (a) in the ability to tell reality from
fantasy, and (b) in the ability to empathise and, indeed, to fully
and maturely love others. As we said, the narcissist possesses no
self-love. It is because he has very little True Self to love.
Instead, a monstrous, malignant construct – the False Self –
encroaches upon his True Self and devours it.

The narcissist loves an image which he projects unto others and
which is affirmed by them. The projected image is reflected back
at the narcissist and, thus, he is reassured both of its existence
and of the boundaries of his Ego. This continuous process blurs
all distinctions between reality and fantasy.

A False Self leads to false assumptions and to a contorted
personal narrative, to a false worldview, and to a grandiose,
inflated sense of being. The latter is rarely grounded in real
achievements or merit. The narcissist's feeling of entitlement is
all-pervasive, demanding and aggressive. It easily deteriorates
into open verbal, psychological and physical abuse of others.
Maintaining a distinction between what we really are and what we
dream of becoming, knowing our limits, our advantages and faults
and having a sense of true, realistic achievements in our life are
of paramount importance in the establishment and maintenance of
our self-esteem, sense of self-worth and self-confidence. Reliant
as he is on outside judgement – the narcissist feels miserably
inferior and dependent. He rebels against this degrading state of
things by partly escaping into a world of make-belief,
daydreaming, pretensions and delusions of grandeur. The narcissist
knows little about himself – and finds what he knows to be
unacceptable.

The second difference is even more important. Our experience of
what it is like to be human – our very humanness – depends largely
on our self-knowledge and on our experience of our selves. In
other words: only through being himself and through experiencing
his self – can a human being fully appreciate the humanness of
others. The narcissist has precious little experience of his self.
Instead, he lives in an invented world, of his own design, where
he is a fictitious figure in a grandiose script. He, therefore,
possesses no tools which enable him to cope with other human
beings, share their emotions, put himself in their place
(=empathise) and, of course, love them – the most demanding task
of inter-relating. He just does not know what it means to be
human. He is a predator, rapaciously preying on others for the
satisfaction of his narcissistic cravings and appetites for
admiration, adoration, applause, affirmation and attention. Humans
are Narcissistic Supply Sources and are (over- or de-) valued
according to their evaluated contribution to this end.

Self-love is a precondition for the experience and expression of
mature love. One cannot truly love someone else if one does not
first love one's True Self. If we never loved ourselves – we never
experienced unconditional love and, therefore, do not know how to
love. If we keep living in a world of fantasy – how could we
notice the very real people around us who ask for our love and who
deserve it? The narcissist wants to love. In the rare moments of
self-awareness that he has he feels ego-dystonic (unhappy with his
situation and with his relationships with others). This is his
predicament: he is sentenced to eternal isolation precisely
because he needs people too much.

[rock ooont roll]

On Wed, 16 Jul 2003 23:41:21 +0100, "The Reiterator"
<ahem@nospaminpark.net> wrote:

>Virtualoso wrote:
>> In article <3F149B58.4198B666@earthlink2001.net>, Buddy H.
>> <buddy-51@earthlink2001.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply And Sources of Supply
>>> (faq page 76)
>>>
>>>
>>> [snip]
>>>
>>> The narcissist ... are usually also connected to past unresolved
>>> conflicts with important Primary Objects (parents or caregivers).
>>> They invoke these conflicts, encourage transference and provoke
>>> the onset ...
>>>
>
>[Mercy snip]
>
>Yawn.....
>
>Psychobabble
>
>Keep coming back
>
>
correct. Narcisst crappola.who bloody cares?