Buddy H.
07-09-2003, 09:10 PM
Narcissistic Immunity
(faq page 45)
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq45.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
Aren't narcissists deterred by the outcomes of their actions and
behaviour?
Answer:
In many respects, narcissists are children. Like children, they
engage in magical thinking. They feel omnipotent. They feel that
there is nothing they couldn't do or achieve had they only really
wanted to. They feel omniscient – they rarely admit that there is
anything that they do not know. They believe that all knowledge
resides within them. They are haughtily convinced that
introspection is a more important and more efficient (not to
mention easier to accomplish) method of obtaining knowledge than
the systematic study of outside sources of information in
accordance with strict (read: tedious) curricula. To some extent,
they believe that they are omnipresent because they are either
famous or about to become famous. Deeply immersed in their
delusions of grandeur, they firmly believe that their acts have –
or will have – a great influence on mankind, on their firm, on
their country, on others. Having learned to manipulate their human
environment to a masterly extent – they believe that they will
always "get away with it".
Narcissistic immunity is the (erroneous) feeling, harboured by the
narcissist, that he is immune to the consequences of his actions.
That he will never be effected by the results of his own
decisions, opinions, beliefs, deeds and misdeeds, acts, inaction
and by his membership of certain groups of people. That he is
above reproach and punishment (though not above adulation). That,
magically, he is protected and will miraculously be saved at the
last moment.
What are the sources of this unrealistic appraisal of situations
and chains of events?
The first and foremost source is, of course, the False Self. It is
constructed as a childish response to abuse and trauma. It is
possessed of everything that the child wishes he had in order to
retaliate: power, wisdom, magic – all of them unlimited and
instantaneously available. The False Self, this Superman, is
indifferent to abuse and punishment inflicted upon it. This way,
the True Self is shielded from the harsh realities experienced by
the child. This artificial, maladaptive separation between a
vulnerable (but not punishable) True Self and a punishable (but
invulnerable) False Self is an effective mechanism. It isolates
the child from the unjust, capricious, emotionally dangerous world
that he occupies. But, at the same time, it fosters a false sense
of "nothing can happen to me, because I am not there, I cannot be
punished because I am immune".
The second source is the sense of entitlement possessed by every
narcissist. In his grandiose delusions, the narcissist is a rare
specimen, a gift to humanity, a precious, fragile, object.
Moreover, the narcissist is convinced both that this uniqueness is
immediately discernible – and that it gives him special rights.
The narcissist feels that he is protected under some cosmological
law pertaining to "endangered species". He is convinced that his
future contribution to humanity should (and does) exempt him from
the mundane: daily chores, boring jobs, recurrent tasks, personal
exertion, orderly investment of resources and efforts and so on.
The narcissist is entitled to "special treatment": high living
standards, constant and immediate catering to his needs, the
avoidance of any encounter with the mundane and the routine, an
all-engulfing absolution of his sins, fast track privileges (to
higher education, in his encounters with the bureaucracy).
Punishment is for ordinary people (where no great loss to humanity
is involved). Narcissists are entitled to a different treatment
and they are above it all.
The third source has to do with their ability to manipulate their
(human) environment. Narcissists develop their manipulative skills
to the level of an art form because that is the only way they
could have survived their poisoned and dangerous childhood. Yet,
they use this "gift" long after its usefulness is over.
Narcissists are possessed of inordinate abilities to charm, to
convince, to seduce and to persuade. They are gifted orators. In
many cases, they ARE intellectually endowed. They put all this to
the bad use of obtaining Narcissistic Supply. Many of them are
con-men, politicians, or artists. Many of them do belong to the
social and economic privileged classes. They mostly do get
exempted many times by virtue of their standing in society, their
charisma, or their ability to find the willing scapegoats. Having
"got away with it" so many times – they develop a theory of
personal immunity, which rests on some kind of societal and even
cosmic "order of things". Some people are just above punishment,
the "special ones", the "endowed or gifted ones". This is the
"narcissistic hierarchy".
But there is a fourth, simpler, explanation:
The narcissist just does not know what he is doing. Divorced from
his True Self, unable to empathise (to understand what it is like
to be someone else), unwilling to empathise (to constrain his
actions in accordance with the feelings and needs of others) – he
is in a constant dreamlike state. His life to him is a movie,
autonomously unfolding, guided by a sublime (even divine)
director. He is a mere spectator, mildly interested, greatly
entertained at times. He does not feel that his actions are his.
He, therefore, emotionally, cannot understand why he should be
punished and when he is, he feels grossly wronged.
To be a narcissist is to be convinced of a great, inevitable
personal destiny. The narcissist is preoccupied with ideal love,
the construction of brilliant, revolutionary scientific theories,
the composition or authoring or painting of the greatest work of
art ever, the founding of a new school of thought, the attainment
of fabulous wealth, the reshaping of the fate of a nation,
becoming immortalised and so on. The narcissist never sets
realistic goals to himself. He is forever floating amidst
fantasies of uniqueness, record breaking, or breathtaking
achievements. His speech reflects this grandiosity and is
interlaced with such expressions. So convinced is the narcissist
that he is destined to great things – that he refuses to accept
setbacks, failures and punishments. He regards them as temporary,
as someone else's errors, as part of the future mythology of his
rise to power/brilliance/wealth/ideal love, etc. A punishment is a
diversion of scarce energy and resources from the all-important
task of fulfilling his mission in life. This over-riding goal is a
divine certainty: a higher order has pre-ordained the narcissist
to achieve something lasting, of substance, of import in this
world, in this life. How could mere mortals interfere with the
cosmic, the divine, scheme of things? Therefore, punishment is
impossible and will not happen – is the narcissist's conclusion.
The narcissist is pathologically envious of people – and projects
his feelings unto them. He is always over-suspicious, on guard,
ready to fend off an imminent attack. A punishment to the
narcissist is a major surprise and a nuisance but it also proves
to him and validates what he suspected all the time: that he is
being persecuted. Strong forces are poised against him. People are
envious of his achievements, angry at him, out to get him. He
constitutes a threat to the accepted order. When required to
account for his (mis)deeds, the narcissist is always disdainful
and bitter. He feels like Gulliver, a giant, chained to the ground
by teeming dwarves while his soul soars to a future, in which
people will recognise his greatness and applaud it.
(faq page 45)
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Personality_Disorders/narcissism/faq45.html
http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
Question:
Aren't narcissists deterred by the outcomes of their actions and
behaviour?
Answer:
In many respects, narcissists are children. Like children, they
engage in magical thinking. They feel omnipotent. They feel that
there is nothing they couldn't do or achieve had they only really
wanted to. They feel omniscient – they rarely admit that there is
anything that they do not know. They believe that all knowledge
resides within them. They are haughtily convinced that
introspection is a more important and more efficient (not to
mention easier to accomplish) method of obtaining knowledge than
the systematic study of outside sources of information in
accordance with strict (read: tedious) curricula. To some extent,
they believe that they are omnipresent because they are either
famous or about to become famous. Deeply immersed in their
delusions of grandeur, they firmly believe that their acts have –
or will have – a great influence on mankind, on their firm, on
their country, on others. Having learned to manipulate their human
environment to a masterly extent – they believe that they will
always "get away with it".
Narcissistic immunity is the (erroneous) feeling, harboured by the
narcissist, that he is immune to the consequences of his actions.
That he will never be effected by the results of his own
decisions, opinions, beliefs, deeds and misdeeds, acts, inaction
and by his membership of certain groups of people. That he is
above reproach and punishment (though not above adulation). That,
magically, he is protected and will miraculously be saved at the
last moment.
What are the sources of this unrealistic appraisal of situations
and chains of events?
The first and foremost source is, of course, the False Self. It is
constructed as a childish response to abuse and trauma. It is
possessed of everything that the child wishes he had in order to
retaliate: power, wisdom, magic – all of them unlimited and
instantaneously available. The False Self, this Superman, is
indifferent to abuse and punishment inflicted upon it. This way,
the True Self is shielded from the harsh realities experienced by
the child. This artificial, maladaptive separation between a
vulnerable (but not punishable) True Self and a punishable (but
invulnerable) False Self is an effective mechanism. It isolates
the child from the unjust, capricious, emotionally dangerous world
that he occupies. But, at the same time, it fosters a false sense
of "nothing can happen to me, because I am not there, I cannot be
punished because I am immune".
The second source is the sense of entitlement possessed by every
narcissist. In his grandiose delusions, the narcissist is a rare
specimen, a gift to humanity, a precious, fragile, object.
Moreover, the narcissist is convinced both that this uniqueness is
immediately discernible – and that it gives him special rights.
The narcissist feels that he is protected under some cosmological
law pertaining to "endangered species". He is convinced that his
future contribution to humanity should (and does) exempt him from
the mundane: daily chores, boring jobs, recurrent tasks, personal
exertion, orderly investment of resources and efforts and so on.
The narcissist is entitled to "special treatment": high living
standards, constant and immediate catering to his needs, the
avoidance of any encounter with the mundane and the routine, an
all-engulfing absolution of his sins, fast track privileges (to
higher education, in his encounters with the bureaucracy).
Punishment is for ordinary people (where no great loss to humanity
is involved). Narcissists are entitled to a different treatment
and they are above it all.
The third source has to do with their ability to manipulate their
(human) environment. Narcissists develop their manipulative skills
to the level of an art form because that is the only way they
could have survived their poisoned and dangerous childhood. Yet,
they use this "gift" long after its usefulness is over.
Narcissists are possessed of inordinate abilities to charm, to
convince, to seduce and to persuade. They are gifted orators. In
many cases, they ARE intellectually endowed. They put all this to
the bad use of obtaining Narcissistic Supply. Many of them are
con-men, politicians, or artists. Many of them do belong to the
social and economic privileged classes. They mostly do get
exempted many times by virtue of their standing in society, their
charisma, or their ability to find the willing scapegoats. Having
"got away with it" so many times – they develop a theory of
personal immunity, which rests on some kind of societal and even
cosmic "order of things". Some people are just above punishment,
the "special ones", the "endowed or gifted ones". This is the
"narcissistic hierarchy".
But there is a fourth, simpler, explanation:
The narcissist just does not know what he is doing. Divorced from
his True Self, unable to empathise (to understand what it is like
to be someone else), unwilling to empathise (to constrain his
actions in accordance with the feelings and needs of others) – he
is in a constant dreamlike state. His life to him is a movie,
autonomously unfolding, guided by a sublime (even divine)
director. He is a mere spectator, mildly interested, greatly
entertained at times. He does not feel that his actions are his.
He, therefore, emotionally, cannot understand why he should be
punished and when he is, he feels grossly wronged.
To be a narcissist is to be convinced of a great, inevitable
personal destiny. The narcissist is preoccupied with ideal love,
the construction of brilliant, revolutionary scientific theories,
the composition or authoring or painting of the greatest work of
art ever, the founding of a new school of thought, the attainment
of fabulous wealth, the reshaping of the fate of a nation,
becoming immortalised and so on. The narcissist never sets
realistic goals to himself. He is forever floating amidst
fantasies of uniqueness, record breaking, or breathtaking
achievements. His speech reflects this grandiosity and is
interlaced with such expressions. So convinced is the narcissist
that he is destined to great things – that he refuses to accept
setbacks, failures and punishments. He regards them as temporary,
as someone else's errors, as part of the future mythology of his
rise to power/brilliance/wealth/ideal love, etc. A punishment is a
diversion of scarce energy and resources from the all-important
task of fulfilling his mission in life. This over-riding goal is a
divine certainty: a higher order has pre-ordained the narcissist
to achieve something lasting, of substance, of import in this
world, in this life. How could mere mortals interfere with the
cosmic, the divine, scheme of things? Therefore, punishment is
impossible and will not happen – is the narcissist's conclusion.
The narcissist is pathologically envious of people – and projects
his feelings unto them. He is always over-suspicious, on guard,
ready to fend off an imminent attack. A punishment to the
narcissist is a major surprise and a nuisance but it also proves
to him and validates what he suspected all the time: that he is
being persecuted. Strong forces are poised against him. People are
envious of his achievements, angry at him, out to get him. He
constitutes a threat to the accepted order. When required to
account for his (mis)deeds, the narcissist is always disdainful
and bitter. He feels like Gulliver, a giant, chained to the ground
by teeming dwarves while his soul soars to a future, in which
people will recognise his greatness and applaud it.