Checking Back In

Hey!

First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm about to
get into the "why" of it.

As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen back
into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while over teh
summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the tools that
where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here, etc.). On
Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month. I've
got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major things that
(I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7 drinking
again:

1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at all
with meetings, facing my issues, etc.

2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't sitting
around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head or
life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.


I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been home a
couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm going to
a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some entrance
exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it going again
and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to one that
I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or 9 years
now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but, I need
to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head working
again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on the
tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.

Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention where I'm
at these days.

P.S.
I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying and what
not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines as I
was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...

hey there,
congratulations you're back :-)
I think mistakes 1) and 2) are common, I did them both prolly a number of
times until I surrendered around 9 months ago. I've changed alot since then,
just thinking about the past year over xmas. I do go to meetings alot. Funny
you're an IT guy, alcoholism doesn't seem to be uncommon in our line of
work, I know a few IT types I've met in recovery

think xmas 2004 and how you want to look back on this year, stay focused
even if/when it hurts, one day at a time of course. Make some sober friends

craig

"Xanadu" <xanadu@inorbit.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.01.04.21.30.50.400062@inorbit.com...
> Hey!
>
> First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm about to
> get into the "why" of it.
>
> As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen back
> into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while over teh
> summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the tools that
> where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here, etc.). On
> Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month. I've
> got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major things that
> (I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7 drinking
> again:
>
> 1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at all
> with meetings, facing my issues, etc.
>
> 2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't sitting
> around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head or
> life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.
>
>
> I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been home a
> couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm going to
> a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some entrance
> exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it going again
> and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to one that
> I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or 9 years
> now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but, I need
> to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head working
> again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on the
> tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.
>
> Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention where I'm
> at these days.
>
> P.S.
> I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying and what
> not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines as I
> was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...
>
>
>

welcome back...........................sounds like you have a great
start on your new sobriety.
take life and its changes slowly, lots of meetings, and hang with
sober folks!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

"Hell they won't lie to me/ Not on my own damn TV/ But how much is a
liar's word worth/ And whatever happened to peace on earth?"
.....................................Willie Nelson
REGIME CHANGE BEGINS AT HOME
****VOTE****



"Xanadu" <xanadu@inorbit.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.01.04.21.30.50.400062@inorbit.com...
> Hey!
>
> First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm
about to
> get into the "why" of it.
>
> As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen
back
> into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while
over teh
> summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the
tools that
> where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here,
etc.). On
> Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month.
I've
> got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major
things that
> (I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7
drinking
> again:
>
> 1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at
all
> with meetings, facing my issues, etc.
>
> 2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't
sitting
> around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head
or
> life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.
>
>
> I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been
home a
> couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm
going to
> a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some
entrance
> exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it
going again
> and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to
one that
> I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or
9 years
> now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but,
I need
> to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head
working
> again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on
the
> tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.
>
> Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention
where I'm
> at these days.
>
> P.S.
> I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying
and what
> not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines
as I
> was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...
>
>
>

"Xanadu" <xanadu@inorbit.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.01.04.21.30.50.400062@inorbit.com...
> Hey!
>
> First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm about to
> get into the "why" of it.
>
> As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen back
> into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while over teh
> summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the tools that
> where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here, etc.). On
> Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month. I've
> got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major things that
> (I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7 drinking
> again:
>
> 1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at all
> with meetings, facing my issues, etc.
>
> 2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't sitting
> around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head or
> life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.
>
>
> I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been home a
> couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm going to
> a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some entrance
> exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it going again
> and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to one that
> I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or 9 years
> now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but, I need
> to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head working
> again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on the
> tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.
>
> Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention where I'm
> at these days.
>
> P.S.
> I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying and what
> not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines as I
> was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...
>
>
>

Xanadu,

Glad you made it back. Whatever path you choose I hope it works out for
you. One of the MYTHS of AA is "just don't drink and go to meetings." I'm
not sure where that developed but it is nowhere in the text. If you're
gonna try AA, I suggest you

a - get a sponsor, WHO HAS A SPONSOR
b - go to meetings (if you don't like the meeting you go to, then find
another - it's not we ever had trouble finding another drink, another bar,
another drinking buddy)
c - work the steps -- to the best of your ability today - it ain't gotta be
perfect - just a little better.(oh yeah, there is a reason they are
numbered).

If you try something else, then do whatever that program suggests you do.

For what it's worth,

Bobby L

On Mon, 5 Jan 2004 22:41:52 -0500, "Bobby L."
<BobbyL2000nospam@bellsouth.net> wrote:

>a - get a sponsor, WHO HAS A SPONSOR

Why the caps? I'd take any sponsor who's actually worked the program
over a co-dependent sponsor who hasn't.

My first sponsor had a sponsor, and yet he relapsed after something
like 3 weeks of working with me. My next sponsor had once had a
sponsor but he moved away. I'm glad I didn't pass him by on the basis
of him having no current sponsor, 'cos he was exactly the right person
to help me recover.

>b - go to meetings (if you don't like the meeting you go to, then find
>another - it's not we ever had trouble finding another drink, another bar,
>another drinking buddy)

I drank alone But it's true to say I would go to any lengths to
find the next store that would supply booze.

>c - work the steps -- to the best of your ability today - it ain't gotta be
>perfect - just a little better.(oh yeah, there is a reason they are
>numbered).

Absolutely

--
Blue Moon