A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she still
drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists and
psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot stop
drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used to
drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my research
on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but it
seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't even
suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year drinking. I
don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have sought
this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by this
situation and I'm desperate for any advice. Peter.

"Pike" <peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:gNYrb.2181$xI2.135522@news20.bellglobal.com.. .
> A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she
still
> drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists and
> psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot stop
> drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used to
> drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
> wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my
research
> on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but it
> seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't even
> suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year drinking.
I
> don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have
sought
> this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by this
> situation and I'm desperate for any advice. Peter.-


part of the insanity of the drink is that as bad as your friend has it, you
are getting thirsty.

can she stop drinking for one day?
>
>
>

"Pike" <peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:gNYrb.2181$xI2.135522@news20.bellglobal.com.. .
> A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she
still
> drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists and
> psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot stop
> drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used to
> drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
> wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my
research
> on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but it
> seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't even
> suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year drinking.
I
> don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have
sought
> this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by this
> situation and I'm desperate for any advice. Peter.
>
>

Wow.

I certainly don't envy you your situation. One thing I noted in your post
was that you feel "driven to drink". While I fully understand that feeling,
you know you won't be any good to your friend or her daughter if you are
blitzed. It undoubtedly will be easier for you to do whatever you have to
do if you aren't impaired. Despite how much you want to take your emotional
pain and stress away.

My first reaction was that you might seek out a local al-anon group.
(That's the group that supports the family and friends of drunks, as
distinct from AA itself,) There you might find some face to face local
support, some first hand experience from others who have dealt with the same
set of problems, and possibly advice that pertains to your particlular
province's laws if intervention is indicated.

Thanks for sharing with us. I'll hold out a good thought for you. Please
keep us posted on what is going on and let your friend know that she doesn't
have to live like that unless she wants to. There is a solution.

Good luck...and give the little girl a hug. I betcha she needs one.

((((((((((((((peter)))))))))))))\
you sound like you are trying to be a good friend..................
have you tried going to an alanon meeting in your area?
there you will learn new ways to approach your friend that just might
work.

*****In liver disease, ascites indicates a chronic or subacute disorder
and does not occur in acute conditions (eg, uncomplicated viral
hepatitis, drug reactions, biliary obstruction). The most common cause
is cirrhosis, especially from alcoholism.*****

there is a chance for the liver to regenerate
itself..........................(if alcohol is the cause and she stops
drinking.)
hang in there!

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

it ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
............................b.clinton

Hi peter, I'm with shaw. It took only a VERY short time (about a day or two)
after stopping drinking that I could start to see what an insane lifestyle I
had been leading.

Maybe she will respond better, dried out at least for a couple days, to
coherent, logical requests?

you are recovering too? Help from folks like that helped me a lot, as they
didn't let me get away with all this "you don't understand" bullshit--YES, they
DID understand, and so I never could view them as hypocrites.

tough situation, hang in there man.
John

[On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 22:35:01 -0500, "Pike"
<peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote:]

> A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she still
> drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists and
> psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot stop
> drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used to
> drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
> wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my research
> on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but it
> seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't even
> suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year drinking. I
> don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have sought
> this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by this
> situation and I'm desperate for any advice.

You may not take this advice, but I am trying to take it myself.

Get her to a good university-connected hospital. Now. Make a few
calls first, then load her up in the car and take her there.

I don't care what she says about this, she goes. Your bedside
demeanor will be important, but the main thing is that she goes.
Load and go. That's what they call it in the ambulance business.
Get her there. It will not be easy, but that *is* the thing to do.

I'm not kidding. Do it right now. Immediately. Otherwise she will
die.

Yep, You can be her friend or be her buddy -- but today you cannot be both.

Bobby L


"The Other Harry" <hc.me@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
newsun4rv4he6m5nir13fjhmosjj6t179e4tv@4ax.com...
> [On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 22:35:01 -0500, "Pike"
> <peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote:]
>
> > A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she
still
> > drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists
and
> > psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot
stop
> > drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used
to
> > drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> > year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
> > wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my
research
> > on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but
it
> > seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't
even
> > suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year
drinking. I
> > don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have
sought
> > this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by
this
> > situation and I'm desperate for any advice.
>
> You may not take this advice, but I am trying to take it myself.
>
> Get her to a good university-connected hospital. Now. Make a few
> calls first, then load her up in the car and take her there.
>
> I don't care what she says about this, she goes. Your bedside
> demeanor will be important, but the main thing is that she goes.
> Load and go. That's what they call it in the ambulance business.
> Get her there. It will not be easy, but that *is* the thing to do.
>
> I'm not kidding. Do it right now. Immediately. Otherwise she will
> die.

Thanks for your sincere replies, this is a fine group, I will weigh the
options and I know I must act, possbly print out these posts and give them
to her, and go to an AA meeting myself first. Thanks again, Peter.
"Bobby L." <BobbyL2000nospam@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:skzsb.21841$jA6.4715@bignews6.bellsouth.net.. .
> Yep, You can be her friend or be her buddy -- but today you cannot be
both.
>
> Bobby L
>
>
> "The Other Harry" <hc.me@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
> newsun4rv4he6m5nir13fjhmosjj6t179e4tv@4ax.com...
> > [On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 22:35:01 -0500, "Pike"
> > <peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote:]
> >
> > > A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she
> still
> > > drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists
> and
> > > psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot
> stop
> > > drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used
> to
> > > drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> > > year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but
I'm
> > > wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my
> research
> > > on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but
> it
> > > seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't
> even
> > > suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year
> drinking. I
> > > don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have
> sought
> > > this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by
> this
> > > situation and I'm desperate for any advice.
> >
> > You may not take this advice, but I am trying to take it myself.
> >
> > Get her to a good university-connected hospital. Now. Make a few
> > calls first, then load her up in the car and take her there.
> >
> > I don't care what she says about this, she goes. Your bedside
> > demeanor will be important, but the main thing is that she goes.
> > Load and go. That's what they call it in the ambulance business.
> > Get her there. It will not be easy, but that *is* the thing to do.
> >
> > I'm not kidding. Do it right now. Immediately. Otherwise she will
> > die.
>
>

[On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 21:17:05 -0500, "Pike"
<peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote:]

> Thanks for your sincere replies, this is a fine group, I will weigh the
> options and I know I must act, possbly print out these posts and give them
> to her, and go to an AA meeting myself first.

I have been debating whether your original message was a troll. I
hope it was. I can be very gullible, so perhaps that is the case.

If that is the case, then you are an asshole. It isn't funny.
There are people who are in situations like this who do need help.
Trolling it only deters serious replies -- which those people need.

If you are not trolling, doing things like printing out the
responses and giving them to her, going to an AA meeting, etc. is
absolute bullshit. You need to get her to a hospital.

One way or the other, you need to understand that these are not the
sort of things that you should fuck should around with. You have to
take them seriously.

Maybe you'll figure that out after your friend dies. Or someone
else. Kick back and have a beer.

"The Other Harry" <hc.me@ix.netcom.com> wrote in message
newsun4rv4he6m5nir13fjhmosjj6t179e4tv@4ax.com...
> [On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 22:35:01 -0500, "Pike"
> <peich@nospamsympatico.ca> wrote:]
>
> > A friend of mine has had a swollen abdomen for the last 6 months, she
still
> > drinks but much less (of course) She is dealing with liver specialists
and
> > psychiatrists but being debilitated and full of regret, simply cannot
stop
> > drinking at least in a maintenance mode. I am her last friend and used
to
> > drink with her and ex-husband 10 years ago. I'm the godfather of her 9
> > year-old daughter, and will inherit her -which I will gladly do, but I'm
> > wondering if there is any hope of avoiding this great loss. All my
research
> > on the web indicates that a liver transplant is the only solution, but
it
> > seems like such a long shot- she resists all confrontation - I can't
even
> > suggest that she play for time, like 5 years sober versus 1 year
drinking. I
> > don't write this easily, I participate in lots of newsgroups but have
sought
> > this one out this evening for the first time, I'm driven to drink by
this
> > situation and I'm desperate for any advice.
>
> You may not take this advice, but I am trying to take it myself.
>
> Get her to a good university-connected hospital. Now. Make a few
> calls first, then load her up in the car and take her there.
>
> I don't care what she says about this, she goes. Your bedside
> demeanor will be important, but the main thing is that she goes.
> Load and go. That's what they call it in the ambulance business.
> Get her there. It will not be easy, but that *is* the thing to do.
>
> I'm not kidding. Do it right now. Immediately. Otherwise she will
> die.

damn harry, good call.


>