Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> > If she can avoid drinking for one day all she has to do is just string
> > together a whole bunch of those days.
>
> I've suggested to her that she say every day "I will not drink TODAY!".

That is great advice. Have her ask someone (another woman) to be her
temporary sponsor. Also, have her collect phone numbers at meetings. When
she has an urge to drink, she can pick up the phone. This really works.

Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> JoeRaisin wrote:
>
>> Tim Bruening wrote:
>>> jimbo wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Feb 2, 7:38 pm, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>>>>> What medications, if any, do you take to reduce your cravings for
>>>>> alcohol?
>>>> I've never taken a medication to reduce craving nor have I ever heard
>>>> of one that works. Her best best would be to consult a physician.
>>>> Jimbo
>>> How then do you resist the urge to drink?
>>>
>> I couldn't - at least not for very long. That was until I began working
>> a program in AA.
>>
>> AA taught me to draw strength from my higher power in order to avoid
>> that first drink. By staying sober for more than a few days to a few
>> weeks at a time I continued working the steps and developed a new
>> perspective on myself - a perspective that meant I could look at myself
>> in the mirror without loathing. Once I became comfortable with who I
>> was, avoiding the first drink became a lot less difficult.
>>
>> I will offer to you a perspective you may not have considered. If your
>> friend's wife is an alcoholic she is not drinking for the same reasons
>> as you or most other social drinkers. Most people drink because they
>> like the way it makes them feel, alcoholics drink because they don't
>> like the way they feel when they are not drinking.
>>
>> Slogans won't change that, nor will medications.
>>
>> If AA isn't her cup of tea, she could try Rational Recovery which
>> utilizes "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" in order to stave off
>> cravings. The only caveat with RR is to try and avoid the anger that
>> the program is darned near built upon. While reading the small book I
>> get the impression that RR sobriety is more a case of staying sober 'at'
>> AA rather than being sober to better one's life.
>>
>> In the end, however, it boils down to whether or not she 'wants' to quit
>> drinking. If not, nothing you (or even your friend) can do to get her
>> to stop.
>
> After nearly losing her husband last week, I believe that she now wants to
> quit. The problem is that she gets a strong craving for alcohol after a few
> days. Often, her stepdad shows up and takes her to a bar to drink double
> vodkas. I was hoping to find drugs to reduce that craving so that her will
> power would be enough to resist the reduced craving.

Glucose tablets.

Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>
> What happens if the alcoholic is an atheist?
> How would he draw on a "Higher Power"?

Get down on his knees and ask God for help!
..
..
--

Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> JoeRaisin wrote:
>
>> Tim Bruening wrote:
>>> Tex wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:58:41 -0800, Tim Bruening
>>>> <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> JoeRaisin wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Tim Bruening wrote:
>>>>>>> jimbo wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On Feb 2, 7:38 pm, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> What medications, if any, do you take to reduce your cravings for
>>>>>>>>> alcohol?
>>>>>>>> I've never taken a medication to reduce craving nor have I ever heard
>>>>>>>> of one that works. Her best best would be to consult a physician.
>>>>>>>> Jimbo
>>>>>>> How then do you resist the urge to drink?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>> I couldn't - at least not for very long. That was until I began working
>>>>>> a program in AA.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> AA taught me to draw strength from my higher power in order to avoid
>>>>>> that first drink. By staying sober for more than a few days to a few
>>>>>> weeks at a time I continued working the steps and developed a new
>>>>>> perspective on myself - a perspective that meant I could look at myself
>>>>>> in the mirror without loathing. Once I became comfortable with who I
>>>>>> was, avoiding the first drink became a lot less difficult.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I will offer to you a perspective you may not have considered. If your
>>>>>> friend's wife is an alcoholic she is not drinking for the same reasons
>>>>>> as you or most other social drinkers. Most people drink because they
>>>>>> like the way it makes them feel, alcoholics drink because they don't
>>>>>> like the way they feel when they are not drinking.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Slogans won't change that, nor will medications.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> If AA isn't her cup of tea, she could try Rational Recovery which
>>>>>> utilizes "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" in order to stave off
>>>>>> cravings. The only caveat with RR is to try and avoid the anger that
>>>>>> the program is darned near built upon. While reading the small book I
>>>>>> get the impression that RR sobriety is more a case of staying sober 'at'
>>>>>> AA rather than being sober to better one's life.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> In the end, however, it boils down to whether or not she 'wants' to quit
>>>>>> drinking. If not, nothing you (or even your friend) can do to get her
>>>>>> to stop.
>>>>> After nearly losing her husband last week, I believe that she now wants to
>>>>> quit. The problem is that she gets a strong craving for alcohol after a few
>>>>> days. Often, her stepdad shows up and takes her to a bar to drink double
>>>>> vodkas. I was hoping to find drugs to reduce that craving so that her will
>>>>> power would be enough to resist the reduced craving.
>>>> Sounds like she doesn't want to lose her husband which ain't
>>>> necessarily the same as wanting to quit.
>>> I believe that the threat of losing her husband got her attention and caused her
>>> to make up her mind to quit.
>>>
>> Then all she has to do when her step dad shows up is say no.
>>
>> I can't speak to how an atheist works with the program since I am not
>> one, but I can tell you that I know of many atheists who have stayed
>> sober using AA.
>>
>> If she can avoid drinking for one day all she has to do is just string
>> together a whole bunch of those days.
>
> I've suggested to her that she say every day "I will not drink TODAY!".
>

But have you offered her anything in place of what she is getting from
the drinking?

Its tough to say, I know you are getting some sort of benefit from this
and you feel as though you need it - but just stop.

That is what AA offered me. When I was drunk I didn't feel inadequate
to the challenge of day-to-day life. AA showed me a way of diminishing
the negative self perception and helped me re-build my confidence.

Check the promises...

"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:47A50CF2.6C5C8CF5@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
When she drinks, she turns violent, forcing her husband to move out.

How about she moves out?? This would probably solve the problem.

Dan from Boston wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>
> >
> > What happens if the alcoholic is an atheist? How would he draw on a
> > "Higher Power"?
>
> Tim, I'm an atheist and I've been sober in AA for nearly 29 years. Your
> higher power can be anything you select, and it can change over time. It is
> essentially something outside of yourself. Many people, including me, call
> AA itself their higher power, but that's up to the individual.
>
> I'm glad this woman is going to AA. She should keep going, no matter what.
> Some people 'get it' right away; others take time. I went for two years
> before getting sober, but I'm more stubborn than most (grin).

Yesterday morning, she went to a 6:30 am AA meeting by walking in the cold, as
she had lost the keys to her truck, and doesn't have a bike. When I last
talked to her, she was about to go to a 6:30 pm meeting. Fortunately, she got
new keys for her truck yesterday during the day, as she had gotten a cold from
walking in the cold.

Dan from Boston wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> > After nearly losing her husband last week, I believe that she now wants
> > to quit. The problem is that she gets a strong craving for alcohol after
> > a few days. Often, her stepdad shows up and takes her to a bar to drink
> > double vodkas. I was hoping to find drugs to reduce that craving so that
> > her will power would be enough to resist the reduced craving.
>
> She will have to stay away from the stepdad for awhile (he sounds like a
> real winner). As far as I know there are no drugs to help. More meetings,
> have her get a sponsor (a woman, not a man), and not go anywhere alcohol is
> sold or served.

She has a sponsor, I don't know what sex.

"F.H." wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > JoeRaisin wrote:
> >
> >> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>> jimbo wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> On Feb 2, 7:38 pm, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >>>>> What medications, if any, do you take to reduce your cravings for
> >>>>> alcohol?
> >>>> I've never taken a medication to reduce craving nor have I ever heard
> >>>> of one that works. Her best best would be to consult a physician.
> >>>> Jimbo
> >>> How then do you resist the urge to drink?
> >>>
> >> I couldn't - at least not for very long. That was until I began working
> >> a program in AA.
> >>
> >> AA taught me to draw strength from my higher power in order to avoid
> >> that first drink. By staying sober for more than a few days to a few
> >> weeks at a time I continued working the steps and developed a new
> >> perspective on myself - a perspective that meant I could look at myself
> >> in the mirror without loathing. Once I became comfortable with who I
> >> was, avoiding the first drink became a lot less difficult.
> >>
> >> I will offer to you a perspective you may not have considered. If your
> >> friend's wife is an alcoholic she is not drinking for the same reasons
> >> as you or most other social drinkers. Most people drink because they
> >> like the way it makes them feel, alcoholics drink because they don't
> >> like the way they feel when they are not drinking.
> >>
> >> Slogans won't change that, nor will medications.
> >>
> >> If AA isn't her cup of tea, she could try Rational Recovery which
> >> utilizes "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" in order to stave off
> >> cravings. The only caveat with RR is to try and avoid the anger that
> >> the program is darned near built upon. While reading the small book I
> >> get the impression that RR sobriety is more a case of staying sober 'at'
> >> AA rather than being sober to better one's life.
> >>
> >> In the end, however, it boils down to whether or not she 'wants' to quit
> >> drinking. If not, nothing you (or even your friend) can do to get her
> >> to stop.
> >
> > After nearly losing her husband last week, I believe that she now wants to
> > quit. The problem is that she gets a strong craving for alcohol after a few
> > days. Often, her stepdad shows up and takes her to a bar to drink double
> > vodkas. I was hoping to find drugs to reduce that craving so that her will
> > power would be enough to resist the reduced craving.
>
> Glucose tablets.

How do glucose tablets work?

"(David P.)" wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> > What happens if the alcoholic is an atheist?
> > How would he draw on a "Higher Power"?
>
> Get down on his knees and ask God for help!

But he doesn't believe in God, so how can he ask God for help?

JoeRaisin wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > JoeRaisin wrote:
> >
> >> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>> Tex wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> On Mon, 04 Feb 2008 00:58:41 -0800, Tim Bruening
> >>>> <tsbrueni@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>> JoeRaisin wrote:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>>>>>> jimbo wrote:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> On Feb 2, 7:38 pm, Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> What medications, if any, do you take to reduce your cravings for
> >>>>>>>>> alcohol?
> >>>>>>>> I've never taken a medication to reduce craving nor have I ever heard
> >>>>>>>> of one that works. Her best best would be to consult a physician.
> >>>>>>>> Jimbo
> >>>>>>> How then do you resist the urge to drink?
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>> I couldn't - at least not for very long. That was until I began working
> >>>>>> a program in AA.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> AA taught me to draw strength from my higher power in order to avoid
> >>>>>> that first drink. By staying sober for more than a few days to a few
> >>>>>> weeks at a time I continued working the steps and developed a new
> >>>>>> perspective on myself - a perspective that meant I could look at myself
> >>>>>> in the mirror without loathing. Once I became comfortable with who I
> >>>>>> was, avoiding the first drink became a lot less difficult.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I will offer to you a perspective you may not have considered. If your
> >>>>>> friend's wife is an alcoholic she is not drinking for the same reasons
> >>>>>> as you or most other social drinkers. Most people drink because they
> >>>>>> like the way it makes them feel, alcoholics drink because they don't
> >>>>>> like the way they feel when they are not drinking.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Slogans won't change that, nor will medications.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> If AA isn't her cup of tea, she could try Rational Recovery which
> >>>>>> utilizes "Addictive Voice Recognition Technique" in order to stave off
> >>>>>> cravings. The only caveat with RR is to try and avoid the anger that
> >>>>>> the program is darned near built upon. While reading the small book I
> >>>>>> get the impression that RR sobriety is more a case of staying sober 'at'
> >>>>>> AA rather than being sober to better one's life.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> In the end, however, it boils down to whether or not she 'wants' to quit
> >>>>>> drinking. If not, nothing you (or even your friend) can do to get her
> >>>>>> to stop.
> >>>>> After nearly losing her husband last week, I believe that she now wants to
> >>>>> quit. The problem is that she gets a strong craving for alcohol after a few
> >>>>> days. Often, her stepdad shows up and takes her to a bar to drink double
> >>>>> vodkas. I was hoping to find drugs to reduce that craving so that her will
> >>>>> power would be enough to resist the reduced craving.
> >>>> Sounds like she doesn't want to lose her husband which ain't
> >>>> necessarily the same as wanting to quit.
> >>> I believe that the threat of losing her husband got her attention and caused her
> >>> to make up her mind to quit.
> >>>
> >> Then all she has to do when her step dad shows up is say no.
> >>
> >> I can't speak to how an atheist works with the program since I am not
> >> one, but I can tell you that I know of many atheists who have stayed
> >> sober using AA.
> >>
> >> If she can avoid drinking for one day all she has to do is just string
> >> together a whole bunch of those days.
> >
> > I've suggested to her that she say every day "I will not drink TODAY!".
> >
>
> But have you offered her anything in place of what she is getting from
> the drinking?

I am giving her emotional support and encouragement, and I got her husband to return to
her and give her his love.

> Its tough to say, I know you are getting some sort of benefit from this
> and you feel as though you need it - but just stop.
>
> That is what AA offered me. When I was drunk I didn't feel inadequate
> to the challenge of day-to-day life. AA showed me a way of diminishing
> the negative self perception and helped me re-build my confidence.
>
> Check the promises...