I went to my Dr. I have had General anxiety since 13. I can not be
around more then 3-4 people at once unless I know them. (Mom Dad Brother
close friends. I hide. I started drinking at 15-16 and i felt great. Of
course this just numbed me. I took librium (librax) it worked for many
years at 10 mgs. Dr said that is a low dose. And it helped my stomach.
Time went on and I increased my alcohol to MD 20/20/ Everyday. Never
drank hard liquore. Sometimes beer 12 a day. Never drank in the morning
or after noon. Only from 7 pm until 11. This went on for 35 years. My
stomach was bad so I took prilosec, nexium (another coverup) I was
depressed alot except at work where i enjoyed working. My BP went to
average of 155/98 cholesterol 266. I had a stress test and it was normal
excect a tiny heart murmur. Dr said just live your life. @-3 times I
stopped drink for 8 days and 20 day and 5 days. In over 30 years. I felt
more energy my somach did not bother me, I could walk in a store without
a panic. But I always went back at night to the alcohol. My sisters are
alcohhics. I tryed antabused. The dose was 250mg aday/ I took 500mg.
after 5 days a drank and the antabuse was like a sugar pill. Nothing
happened. I dont date because im afraid and nervouse. I have some
friends that are great and think Im great. I help people when they need
me. I have financial problem as work is slow. Now i feel like doing
nothing. I want to taper off each meds and alcohol. But I dont have
money or have a place to go as its far. I have a 2 bedroom home and once
had a friend live there for 2 days he said he could not stop drinking
and left, He mad it 2 days as I did. Any Ideas? In scared to death of
groups like AA... I beleive in it buut I cant. Is there a place to go
and get clean? My neighbor said she would pay for it. Is it better to
taper of alcohol first and then xanax or both equally. I tryes cold
turkey and got heart palputations. Well Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you. Dan

Hey Dan; sounds oh so familiar! Almost identical to my story.
I got on Paxil after 30+ years of SAD, social anxiety
disorder! Panic attacks and the like. Of course I couldn't go into AA.
Finally, I fell some-
where in Texas, after dt's found myself in a little sober house. The house
sent all the members
to an AA oriented doctor. I told him of my problems and he put me on Paxil.
It was a '
wonder drug!! I could go and do anything others could do, finally!
Now, thinking about getting back on it for a time, just to get over this
fear thats inside of me.
The fear you feel when hungover, that paranoid feeling!
My drinking is tapered finally. I've reached that point where it doesn't do
nothing for me.
I have several bottles of MD 20/20 "maddog" hidden about the house, and it
just sits there.
I may have some on ice and wind up pouring back into the bottle. I know
this little phase
is short lived. The alcoholic spirit is on me.
As for rehab, sure try it...maybe long term. I've been in many and always
celebrate on my
release! Rehab's didn't work for me as well as AA and the
fellowship/sponsors...and working
the steps. What really gave me sobriety one time was my great relationship
with my HP.
I walked alot, DUI, etc,,and everywhere I went, I was in communication with
my HP.
It worked for awhile till I let up on the program etc.
I still take Prevacid for my stomach/ulcers.


>I went to my Dr. I have had General anxiety since 13. I can not be
> around more then 3-4 people at once unless I know them. (Mom Dad Brother
> close friends. I hide. I started drinking at 15-16 and i felt great. Of
> course this just numbed me. I took librium (librax) it worked for many
> years at 10 mgs. Dr said that is a low dose. And it helped my stomach.
> Time went on and I increased my alcohol to MD 20/20/ Everyday. Never
> drank hard liquore. Sometimes beer 12 a day. Never drank in the morning
> or after noon. Only from 7 pm until 11. This went on for 35 years. My
> stomach was bad so I took prilosec, nexium (another coverup) I was
> depressed alot except at work where i enjoyed working. My BP went to
> average of 155/98 cholesterol 266. I had a stress test and it was normal
> excect a tiny heart murmur. Dr said just live your life. @-3 times I
> stopped drink for 8 days and 20 day and 5 days. In over 30 years. I felt
> more energy my somach did not bother me, I could walk in a store without
> a panic. But I always went back at night to the alcohol. My sisters are
> alcohhics. I tryed antabused. The dose was 250mg aday/ I took 500mg.
> after 5 days a drank and the antabuse was like a sugar pill. Nothing
> happened. I dont date because im afraid and nervouse. I have some
> friends that are great and think Im great. I help people when they need
> me. I have financial problem as work is slow. Now i feel like doing
> nothing. I want to taper off each meds and alcohol. But I dont have
> money or have a place to go as its far. I have a 2 bedroom home and once
> had a friend live there for 2 days he said he could not stop drinking
> and left, He mad it 2 days as I did. Any Ideas? In scared to death of
> groups like AA... I beleive in it buut I cant. Is there a place to go
> and get clean? My neighbor said she would pay for it. Is it better to
> taper of alcohol first and then xanax or both equally. I tryes cold
> turkey and got heart palputations. Well Thank you for listening to me.
> Thank you. Dan

Wow. Very familiar story.
I was "the wierd kid" that every high school has. Started drinking when I
was 14 which, of course, made me "the wierder kid"
The only things my fridge had in it for years were milk and beer
To make a long story short I am 47 years old, now out of jail, on parole, I
quit cold turkey, and have not had a drink for 60 days.
When I first stopped drinking the anxiety attacks and such got much worse.
Both my shrink and my doctor told me to keep taking my anti-depressants
(Effexor and Remoron) and tough it out. I only have attacks now when I think
of how bleak my future COULD be.
I have 2 things to say about AA.
I HATE AA. I hate the people. I hate the meetings. I hate everything about
it.
But.
The principles of AA wok very well if you keep it simple and do as your
told. And by what I can see works very well into the long term.
Good luck.

"Joe Simi" <Dandrinks@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:25832-4647F17F-240@storefull-3131.bay.webtv.net...
>I went to my Dr. I have had General anxiety since 13. I can not be
> around more then 3-4 people at once unless I know them. (Mom Dad Brother
> close friends. I hide. I started drinking at 15-16 and i felt great. Of
> course this just numbed me. I took librium (librax) it worked for many
> years at 10 mgs. Dr said that is a low dose. And it helped my stomach.
> Time went on and I increased my alcohol to MD 20/20/ Everyday. Never
> drank hard liquore. Sometimes beer 12 a day. Never drank in the morning
> or after noon. Only from 7 pm until 11. This went on for 35 years. My
> stomach was bad so I took prilosec, nexium (another coverup) I was
> depressed alot except at work where i enjoyed working. My BP went to
> average of 155/98 cholesterol 266. I had a stress test and it was normal
> excect a tiny heart murmur. Dr said just live your life. @-3 times I
> stopped drink for 8 days and 20 day and 5 days. In over 30 years. I felt
> more energy my somach did not bother me, I could walk in a store without
> a panic. But I always went back at night to the alcohol. My sisters are
> alcohhics. I tryed antabused. The dose was 250mg aday/ I took 500mg.
> after 5 days a drank and the antabuse was like a sugar pill. Nothing
> happened. I dont date because im afraid and nervouse. I have some
> friends that are great and think Im great. I help people when they need
> me. I have financial problem as work is slow. Now i feel like doing
> nothing. I want to taper off each meds and alcohol. But I dont have
> money or have a place to go as its far. I have a 2 bedroom home and once
> had a friend live there for 2 days he said he could not stop drinking
> and left, He mad it 2 days as I did. Any Ideas? In scared to death of
> groups like AA... I beleive in it buut I cant. Is there a place to go
> and get clean? My neighbor said she would pay for it. Is it better to
> taper of alcohol first and then xanax or both equally. I tryes cold
> turkey and got heart palputations. Well Thank you for listening to me.
> Thank you. Dan
>