The Compulsive Acts of a Narcissist
(faq page 30)

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communit...ism/faq30.html

http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm

Question:

Are there any compulsive acts typical only to a narcissist?

Answer:

The short and the long of it is: no. In general, there is a strong
compulsive strand in the narcissist's behaviour. He is driven to
exorcise internal demons by means of ritualistic acts. His very
pursuit of Narcissistic Supply is compulsive. The narcissist seeks
to recreate and replay old traumas, ancient, unresolved conflicts
with figures of (primary) importance in his life. He feels guilty
and that he should be punished. He makes sure that he is. These
all possess the tint and hue of compulsion. In many respects,
narcissism can be defined as an obsessive-compulsive disorder gone
berserk. Like the magician's apprentice, it did not know where and
when to stop and it took over the whole edifice. The narcissist's
original personality was consumed by it.

The narcissist is faced with difficult conditions in his
childhood: neglect, abandonment, capriciousness, arbitrariness,
strictness, sadistic behaviour, abuse (physical, psychological, or
verbal) or doting, "annexation" and "appropriation" by a
narcissistic and frustrated parent. He develops a unique defence
mechanism: a story, a narrative, another self. This False Self is
possessed of all the qualities that can insulate the child from
his predicament. It is close to perfect: it is omnipotent,
omniscient, omnipresent. In short: it is divine. A religion
follows: rites, mantras, scriptures, spiritual and physical
exercises. The child worships this new deity. He succumbs to what
he perceives to be its wishes and its needs. He makes sacrifices
of Narcissistic Supply to it. He is awed by it because it
possesses many of the traits of the hallowed tormentors, the
parents. The child reduces his True Self, minimises it. He is
looking to appease the new Divinity – not to incur its wrath. He
does so by adhering to strict schedules, ceremonies, by reciting
texts, by self-imposition of self-discipline. Hitherto, the child
is transformed into the servant of his False Self. Daily, he
caters to its needs and offers to it Narcissistic Supply. And he
is rewarded for his efforts: he feels elated when in compliance
with the creed, he emulates the characteristics of this entity.
Suffused with Narcissistic Supply, his False Self content, the
child feels omnipotent, untouchable, invulnerable, immune to
threats and insults and omniscient. On the other hand, when
Narcissistic Supply is lacking – the child feels guilty,
miserable, unworthy. The Superego takes over: sadistic, ominous,
cruel, suicidal – it chastises the child for having failed, for
having sinned, for being guilty. It demands a self-inflicted
punishment to cleanse, to atone, to let go. Caught between these
two deities – the child is compulsively forced to seek
Narcissistic Supply. Success in this pursuit holds both the
promises of emotional reward and of protection from the murderous
Superego.

Throughout all this, the child maintains the rhythms of
regenerating his conflicts and traumas in order to try and resolve
them. Such resolution can be either in the form of punishment or
in the form of healing. But since healing means letting go of his
system of beliefs and deities – the child is more likely to elect
the punishment. He strives to re-live old traumas. For instance,
he behaves in ways that make people abandon him. Or he becomes
rebellious in order to be punished by figures of authority. Or he
defies social edicts or even engages in criminal activities. This
underlying axis of self-defeating behaviour is permanent and
interacts with the False Self.

The False Self breeds compulsive acts. The narcissist looks for
his Narcissistic Supply compulsively. He is seeking to be punished
compulsively. He generates resentment or hatred, switches sexual
partners, becomes eccentric, he writes articles and makes
scientific discoveries – all compulsively. There is no joy in his
life or in his actions. Just the feeling of relief, momentary
liberation and engulfing protection that he enjoys following a
compulsive act. Pressure builds inside, threatening the precarious
balance of his personality. It is as though he is warned that a
danger is imminent. He reacts by developing an acute anxiety,
which can be alleviated only by a compulsive act. If this act
fails to materialise, the emotional outcome could be anything from
absolute terror to deep-set depression. The narcissist knows that
his very life is at risk, that in his Superego lurks a mortal
enemy. He knows that only the False Self can stand up to it (the
True Self is small, frozen in time, immature and dilapidated). The
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an obsessive-compulsive
disorder writ large.

Narcissists engage in all manner of and impulsive actions:
bingeing, shopping, gambling, drinking, reckless driving, hand
washing. But what sets them apart from other compulsives is
twofold:

The compulsive acts constitute a part of a larger "grandiose"
picture. If a narcissist shops – it is in order to build up a
unique collection. If he gambles – it is to prove right a method
that he has developed or to demonstrate his amazing mental or
psychic powers. If he climbs mountains or races cars – it is to
establish new records and if he binges – it is part of
constructing a universal diet or bodybuilding and so on. The
narcissist never engages in simple, straightforward activities –
these are too mundane, not sufficiently grandiose. A contextual
narrative has to be invented in order to lend outstanding
proportion, context and purpose to the most common acts, including
the compulsive ones. Where the regular compulsive patient feels
that the compulsive act restores his control over himself and over
his life – the narcissist feels that the compulsive act restores
his control over his environment and secures his future
Narcissistic Supply.

The compulsive acts enhance the reward – penalty cycle. At their
inception and for as long as they are committed – they reward the
narcissist emotionally in the ways described above. But they also
supply him with fresh ammunition against himself. Sinning by
indulging himself leads the narcissist down the path of
self-inflicted punishment.

Finally, "normal" compulsions can be effectively treated with
behaviourist therapeutic methods. The therapist can de-condition
the patient and reinforce his disengagement from his constricting
rituals. This works only partly with the narcissist. His
compulsive acts are part of the much larger, much more complicated
picture of his personality. They are the sick tips of very
abnormal icebergs. Shaving them off does nothing to ameliorate the
narcissist's titanic inner struggle.

The Narcissist’s Reaction to Deficient Narcissistic Supply
(faq page 28)

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communit...ism/faq28.html

http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm

Question:

How does the narcissist react when not in receipt of sufficient
Narcissistic Supply?

Answer:

Very much as a drug addict would react to the absence of his
particular drug. The narcissist constantly consumes (really, preys
upon) adoration, admiration, approval, applause, attention and
other forms of Narcissistic Supply. When lacking or deficient, a
Narcissistic Deficiency Dysphoria sets in. The narcissist looks
depressed, his movements slow down, his sleep patterns are
disturbed (he either sleeps too much or becomes insomniac), his
eating patterns change (he gorges on food or is unable even to
look at it). He is be constantly dysphoric (sad), anhedonic (finds
no interest in the world, no pleasure in anything or in any of his
former pursuits and interests). He is subjected to violent mood
swings (mainly rage attacks) and all his (visible and painful)
efforts at self-control fail. He may compulsively and ritually
resort to an alternative addiction – alcohol, drugs, reading. This
constitutes a futile effort of the narcissist both to escape his
predicament – and to sublimate his aggressive urges. His whole
behaviour seems constrained, artificial, full of effort and toil.
The narcissist gradually turns more and more mechanical, detached,
unreal. His thoughts constantly wander or become obsessive and
repetitive, his speech may falter, he appears to be far away, in a
world of his narcissistic fantasies, where Narcissistic Supply is
aplenty. He withdraws from this painful world which knows not how
to appreciate his greatness, special skills and talents,
potential, or achievements. The narcissist thus ceases to bestow
himself upon a cruel universe, punishing it for its shortcomings,
its inability to realise how unique the narcissist is. A schizoid
mode sets in: the narcissist isolates himself, a hermit in the
kingdom of his hurt. He minimises his social interactions and uses
"messengers" to communicate with the outside. Devoid of energy,
the narcissist can no longer pretend or succumb to social
conventions. His former compliance gives way to open withdrawal (a
rebellion of sorts). His former smiles are transformed to frowns,
courtesy becomes rudeness, emphasised etiquette used as a weapon,
an outlet of aggression, an act of violence.

The narcissist, blinded by pain, seeks to restore his balance, to
take another sip of the narcissistic nectar. In his quest, the
narcissist turns to and upon those nearest to him. His real
attitude emerges: for him, they are but tools, one-dimensional
instruments on the path to gratification, Sources of Supply or
pimps of such supply, catering to his narcissistic lusts. He
regards them as shallow, no longer functioning objects. In his
wrath, he tries to mend them by forcing them to perform again, to
function. This is coupled with horrendous and torrential
self-flagellation, a deservedly self-inflicted punishment, or so
the narcissist feels. In extreme cases of deprivation, the
narcissist may entertain suicidal thoughts, this is how deeply he
loathes his self and his condition.

Through all this, the narcissist is beset by a pervading sense of
nostalgia. It is a malignant variety, harking back to a past,
which never existed except in the thwarted grandiosity of the
narcissist. The longer the lack of Narcissistic Supply, the more
this past is glorified, re-written, missed and mourned. This
serves to enhance all the other negative feelings. Put together,
it already amounts to what might be clinically described as
depression. The narcissist then glides into the shores of
paranoia. From his mental closet, he draws a model of a
prosecuting world, incorporating in it those around him and events
in his recent life. This gives meaning to what is erroneously
perceived by the narcissist as a sudden shift from over supply to
under or to no supply (such over and under valuations are typical
of him). The apparent diminishing of the Narcissistic Supply is
best explained by a theory of conspiracy. The narcissist then – in
pain, in despair, in fear – embarks upon an orgy of
self-destruction intended to generate "alternative Supply Sources"
(attention) at any cost. The narcissist is poised to commit the
ultimate narcissistic act: self-destruction in the service of
self-aggrandisement.

When deprived of Narcissistic Supply – primary AND secondary – the
narcissist feels annulled. It feels much like being hollowed out,
mentally disembowelled or watching oneself die. It is evaporation,
disintegration into molecules of terrified anguish, helplessly and
inexorably.

Without Narcissistic Supply – the narcissist crumbles, like the
zombies or the vampires one sees in horror movies. It is
terrifying and the narcissist will do anything to avoid it. Think
about the narcissist as a drug addict. His withdrawal symptoms are
identical: delusions, physiological effects, irritability,
emotional lability.

Narcissists often experience brief, decompensatory psychotic
episodes when their psyche is disassembled – either deliberately
in therapy or following a life-crisis accompanied by a major
narcissistic injury.

These psychotic episodes may be closely allied to another feature
of narcissism: magical thinking. Narcissists are like children in
this sense. Many, for instance, fully believe in two things: that
whatever happens – they will prevail and that good things will
always happen to them. It is more than a belief, really.
Narcissists just KNOW it, the same way one knows gravity –
directly, immediately and surely.

The narcissist believes that, no matter what he does, he will
always be forgiven, always prevail and triumph, always come on
top. The narcissist is, therefore, fearless in a manner perceived
by others to be both admirable and insane. He attributes to
himself divine and cosmic immunity – he cloaks myself in it, it
renders him invisible to his enemies and to the powers of "evil".
It is a childish phantasmagoria – but to the narcissist it is very
real.

The narcissist knows with religious certainty that good things
will happen to him. With equal certitude, the more self-aware of
them know that they will squander their good fortune time and
again in a bedevilled effort to defeat themselves.

So, no matter what serendipity, what lucky circumstance, what
blessing the narcissist receives – he always strives with blind
fury to deflect them, to deform and to ruin.

In article <3F456BCA.11A1E6E6@earthlink2001.net>, Buddy H.
<buddy-51@earthlink2001.net> wrote:

> ... Put together,
> it already amounts to what might be clinically described ...

Apparently, if nothing else.

On Fri, 22 Aug 2003 01:09:03 GMT, "Buddy H." <buddy-51@earthlink2001.net> wrote:

>The Narcissist’s Reaction to Deficient Narcissistic Supply
>(faq page 28)
>
>http://www.healthyplace.com/Communit...ism/faq28.html
>
>http://www2.cddc.vt.edu/gutenberg/etext03/malsl10h.htm
>
>Question:
>
>How does the narcissist react when not in receipt of sufficient
>Narcissistic Supply?
>
>Answer:
>

Goes out and buys a new mirror.
aa#2106