My husband checked himself back into the hosptial yesterday. He called
me to let me know where he was & we talked for a couple of minutes. He
said he was sorry for hurting me & that he'd never hurt me again (this
is a promise no human being could keep), that he's ready to get
treatment, & that he loves me. He said he doesn't remember anything
that happened on November 2nd except that he took a whole bunch of
pills to try & kill himself.

I have mixed emotions about this. I'm happy he checked himself in but
does he really want help? Or is he just doing it to try & lull me into
thinking he's serious this time? I still care about him--do I want to
wait to see what happens for a week or so do should I just push on &
get a divorce lawyer right away?

I'm so confused. Of course, I don't know what he wants. Maybe he
doesn't want to stay married anymore.

dreamspinner3 wrote:
> My husband checked himself back into the hosptial yesterday. He called
> me to let me know where he was & we talked for a couple of minutes. He
> said he was sorry for hurting me & that he'd never hurt me again (this
> is a promise no human being could keep), that he's ready to get
> treatment, & that he loves me. He said he doesn't remember anything
> that happened on November 2nd except that he took a whole bunch of
> pills to try & kill himself.
>
> I have mixed emotions about this. I'm happy he checked himself in but
> does he really want help? Or is he just doing it to try & lull me into
> thinking he's serious this time? I still care about him--do I want to
> wait to see what happens for a week or so do should I just push on &
> get a divorce lawyer right away?
>
> I'm so confused. Of course, I don't know what he wants. Maybe he
> doesn't want to stay married anymore.
>
sounds like he's trying to do the right thing

I think he is, but I don't know. He is not a stupid person & he knows
how to play the system to get what he wants. He's done it before. He
knows me very well, he knows just what to say & do to get me thinking
things are different this time. But he has never checked himself into
the hospital before.

dreamspinner3 wrote:
> I think he is, but I don't know. He is not a stupid person & he knows
> how to play the system to get what he wants. He's done it before. He
> knows me very well, he knows just what to say & do to get me thinking
> things are different this time. But he has never checked himself into
> the hospital before.
>
either way a little sobriety won't hurt him. If
anything it'll help clear is head.

Yes, it will. But what about my head, LOL? Seriously, I'm going to
take a few days & think things over before I take any action. I've got
the breathing room right now to just relax & think about things now
that I don't feel like I'm in crisis-mode anymore.

Go to an alannon meeting. discuss your situation with someone that has
experience, that helps me with any problem that I have(Well no the
alannon part). If you have a Big Book try reading chapter "To Wives"
and "To the Family Afterwards" They were very helpfull to my family.

you will get all kinds of advice. some advice will stem out of hate
and other out of love.

no one can make the decision for you.



i have a newly alcoholic wife that i love very much. we split
physically. if she asks to come back i will say OK but ONLY after she
completes at least 3 months of rehab. I believe when dealing with an
addict, albeit a loved one, you must look at their actions and not
words.

i can say what i would do in your shoes. i would play it by ear and
observe her actions over the next few months. if she can prove herself
truly sober than i accept her wholeheartedly.

On 7 Nov 2005 11:28:59 -0800, "dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmx.net>
wrote:

>I think he is, but I don't know. He is not a stupid person & he knows
>how to play the system to get what he wants. He's done it before. He
>knows me very well, he knows just what to say & do to get me thinking
>things are different this time. But he has never checked himself into
>the hospital before.

dreamspinner3 wrote:

> My husband checked himself back into the hosptial yesterday. He called
> me to let me know where he was & we talked for a couple of minutes. He
> said he was sorry for hurting me & that he'd never hurt me again (this
> is a promise no human being could keep), that he's ready to get
> treatment, & that he loves me. He said he doesn't remember anything
> that happened on November 2nd except that he took a whole bunch of
> pills to try & kill himself.
>
> I have mixed emotions about this. I'm happy he checked himself in but
> does he really want help? Or is he just doing it to try & lull me into
> thinking he's serious this time? I still care about him--do I want to
> wait to see what happens for a week or so do should I just push on &
> get a divorce lawyer right away?
>
> I'm so confused. Of course, I don't know what he wants. Maybe he
> doesn't want to stay married anymore.
>


Only you can decide Kim. I went through the same mental gyrations
when my husband entered a 4 month rehab program. The best thing
I can say about that is that is gives you a period of calm to assess
your situation. There is a great feeling of relief, and hope that maybe
this is the time it will work. Sometimes it does, sometimes it
doesn't. For me, at least I knew where he was and what he
(wasn't) doing. It worked for awhile, but didn't seem to last. God
knows why, but I sure don't.

What do you want? Do you want to stay married and take the
chance? It was also the first time he had ever made the decision
to check in on his own. I thought that would make a difference.
Apparently, it was only me that it made a difference to in the long run.


Kai

"dreamspinner3" <dreamspinner3@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:1131391739.428772.184200@z14g2000cwz.googlegr oups.com...
>I think he is, but I don't know. He is not a stupid person & he
>knows
> how to play the system to get what he wants. He's done it before.
> He
> knows me very well, he knows just what to say & do to get me
> thinking
> things are different this time. But he has never checked himself
> into
> the hospital before.
>

Checkmate would have to be your decision, but he's now countered your
move, and called :- Check!

Bob

On Tue, 8 Nov 2005 10:40:42 +1000, "Robert McGregor"
<robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote:

>Checkmate would have to be your decision, but he's now countered your
>move, and called :- Check!

I'm going to stay the course, let him make his own decisions. There
is nothing else I can do.
-----
Kim/Dreamspinner3
Visit My Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/dreamspinner3/