Am looking for insight from recovering people.

Thank you

On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 19:32:05 GMT, someone in need <nobody@nowhere.com>
wrote:

>Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>
>Thank you


I will get back to you after I kick some ass

Regards
Daveb

"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>
> Thank you

Given that anger and/or resentment can easily be observed in most if
not all species from ants to elephants, that merits a "co-dependency
is a disease" medallion for arguably the most absurd question ever
posted here.

Bob

On Sat, 17 Sep 2005 06:53:41 +1000, "Robert McGregor"
<robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote:

:|
:|"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
:|news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com. ..
:|> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
:|>
:|> Thank you
:|
:|Given that anger and/or resentment can easily be observed in most if
:|not all species from ants to elephants, that merits a "co-dependency
:|is a disease" medallion for arguably the most absurd question ever
:|posted here.
:|
:|Bob
:|
:|
Agreed... I for one don't feel that anger and/or resentment is any more
"pervasive" amongst alcoholics or addicts than in the population in general.
Furthermore, I will have a serious resentment towards anyone who disagrees
with this opinion.

Bryce L. Martin

"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>
> Thank you

Someone,
I think that there is a good reason why angers and resentments are the
first things that we need to analyze when we are working our way through our
4th step personal inventories. I believe that because I see anger and
resentment as being the unthinking, emotional, irrational reaction to most
kinds of disappointment or hurt. It seems to be wired in as part of our
"fight or flight" reaction to threats.
The way past that reaction is supposed to be rational consideration of
what really happened or is happening. Sadly, most people don't learn to
cope with disappointment or threat with rational thought.
Even more sadly, most of us drunks have learned to cope with
disappointment or threat by self medicating with ethanol. So, what we do is
seal in that anger and resentment and let it fester and grow until it
blossoms into a standard and built in response to almost every stimulus that
comes along, even the ones that aren't necessarily disappointing or
threatening. If we start snarling soon enough no one, even ourselves, can
see just how cowed we really are deep down inside.
I think that this response becomes so ingrained that we keep doing it
even when we stop drinking. That's why we see the "dry drunk" phenomenon.
Unless the alkie has honestly worked the 4th and continued to do it with new
things as they arise, he still doesn't face disappointment or threat (or
even any other stimulus) rationally. Instead, he reverts to (or perhaps
simply remains with) the learned behavior of lashing out at anything that
moves.
On the other hand, I could be full of crap, but that's the way it looks
to me.
Dan

"dan mcgown" <dmcgown@adelphia.net> wrote in message
news:T7adnYk9iaIwqrbeRVn-jg@adelphia.com...
>
> "someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
> news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
>> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>>
>> Thank you
>
> Someone,
> I think that there is a good reason why angers and resentments
> are the first things that we need to analyze when we are working
> our way through our 4th step personal inventories. I believe that
> because I see anger and resentment as being the unthinking,
> emotional, irrational reaction to most kinds of disappointment or
> hurt. It seems to be wired in as part of our "fight or flight"
> reaction to threats.
> The way past that reaction is supposed to be rational
> consideration of what really happened or is happening. Sadly, most
> people don't learn to cope with disappointment or threat with
> rational thought.
> Even more sadly, most of us drunks have learned to cope with
> disappointment or threat by self medicating with ethanol. So, what
> we do is seal in that anger and resentment and let it fester and
> grow until it blossoms into a standard and built in response to
> almost every stimulus that comes along, even the ones that aren't
> necessarily disappointing or threatening. If we start snarling
> soon enough no one, even ourselves, can see just how cowed we
> really are deep down inside.
> I think that this response becomes so ingrained that we keep
> doing it even when we stop drinking. That's why we see the "dry
> drunk" phenomenon. Unless the alkie has honestly worked the 4th and
> continued to do it with new things as they arise, he still doesn't
> face disappointment or threat (or even any other stimulus)
> rationally. Instead, he reverts to (or perhaps simply remains
> with) the learned behavior of lashing out at anything that moves.
> On the other hand, I could be full of crap, but that's the way
> it looks to me.
> Dan

Dan, if you had spoken for yourself, that post would have closely
gelled with my own experience.

I've watched several AA myths dissipate in inverse proportion to the
growth of Usenet. The Sainthood of Bill W, and the "common solution"
being examples.

Nevertheless, the "quality sobriety"/"dry drunk" judgements linger on
as a popular if intellectually dishonest way of lauding/deprecating
others with whom one agrees/disagrees. (Fortunately, the "quality
sobriety" half of the equation seems to be disappearing from this
arena)

Amongst people in general, emotional intelligence seems to be
dispersed as inconsistently as intellectual intelligence. Amongst
newies to AA, "sanity" that can be an established given for one, can
take a lifetime, if not several incarnations, for another to acquire.

Thus we do have situations where, on sobering up, one person
responds appropriately to an obvious adversity without having
bothered with any pesky steps. Another, sober for an equal
period, but diligently taking the steps, can be crumbled by the same
adversity; then denigrated by more fortunate peers.

HTH

Bob

On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 17:22:55 -0400, "dan mcgown"
<dmcgown@adelphia.net> wrote:

>
>"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com.. .
>> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>>
>> Thank you
>
>Someone,
> I think that there is a good reason why angers and resentments are the
>first things that we need to analyze when we are working our way through our
>4th step personal inventories. I believe that because I see anger and
>resentment as being the unthinking, emotional, irrational reaction to most
>kinds of disappointment or hurt. It seems to be wired in as part of our
>"fight or flight" reaction to threats.
> The way past that reaction is supposed to be rational consideration of
>what really happened or is happening. Sadly, most people don't learn to
>cope with disappointment or threat with rational thought.
> Even more sadly, most of us drunks have learned to cope with
>disappointment or threat by self medicating with ethanol. So, what we do is
>seal in that anger and resentment and let it fester and grow until it
>blossoms into a standard and built in response to almost every stimulus that
>comes along, even the ones that aren't necessarily disappointing or
>threatening. If we start snarling soon enough no one, even ourselves, can
>see just how cowed we really are deep down inside.
> I think that this response becomes so ingrained that we keep doing it
>even when we stop drinking. That's why we see the "dry drunk" phenomenon.
>Unless the alkie has honestly worked the 4th and continued to do it with new
>things as they arise, he still doesn't face disappointment or threat (or
>even any other stimulus) rationally. Instead, he reverts to (or perhaps
>simply remains with) the learned behavior of lashing out at anything that
>moves.
> On the other hand, I could be full of crap, but that's the way it looks
>to me.
> Dan
>


Dan,

Thank you so much. i am learning as much as I possibly can to help me
deal with the alcoholic i love. I guess family are not too well
received especially if they have made open offers for treatment.
Perhaps denial converts to more angry hurtful language. This in
addition to ZERO enabling.

Alanon teaches us to accept having no control over the addict, however
as i learn more about this it seems (to me) the real tragedy is that
the person drinking does not have control of their OWN life.

My prayer is that our young child will get to know the wonderful
mother she has.

Take care

Bryce L. Martin <nothere@anymore.net> écrivit dans le message
<13dmi11sl95chg9nt4l4i90tbjukdiptv4@4ax.com>:

> On Sat, 17 Sep 2005 06:53:41 +1000, "Robert McGregor"
> <robert_mcgregor@knickers.yahoo.com.au> wrote:
>
>>>
>>> "someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
>>> news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
>>>> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>>>>
>>>> Thank you
>>>
>>> Given that anger and/or resentment can easily be observed in most if
>>> not all species from ants to elephants, that merits a "co-dependency
>>> is a disease" medallion for arguably the most absurd question ever
>>> posted here.
>>>
>>> Bob
>>>
>>>
> Agreed... I for one don't feel that anger and/or resentment is any
> more "pervasive" amongst alcoholics or addicts than in the population
> in general. Furthermore, I will have a serious resentment towards
> anyone who disagrees with this opinion.
>
> Bryce L. Martin

C'est sûr que tout le monde sont pas intelligent comme vous, hein?

i don't believe that alcoholics suffer from anger and resentment anymore
than "normies/pedestrians"..................................imo,
recovery is all about how we handle those emotions.

--

"no duh!"
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/10/bus....ap/index.html





"someone in need" <nobody@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:rc7mi1pcpl0oferdralpamrosvllrlhbi6@4ax.com...
> Am looking for insight from recovering people.
>
> Thank you

alt.recovery.family+friends is a newsgroup that was started for those in
ALANON..................it is NOT active, but i think it would be a
great idea if it was.

--

"no duh!"
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/10/bus....ap/index.html