I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered around
drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this shit, because
if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be gone. I
bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely. The
thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible thought, I
don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not connect
with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate that also
delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my lifestyle. I
should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are long gone.
I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep things going.
Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a step in the
right direction?

-M

yes, mike help from hardcore drinkers is EXACTLY what helped
me....................
please go back to AA and talk to someone about being new, and
feeling UNIQUE in your surroundings and feeling like you don't fit
it..

there is help for you,
rosie










"Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com> wrote in message
news:4ulTd.109819$mt.108901@fed1read03...
: I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered
around
: drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this
shit, because
: if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be
gone. I
: bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely.
The
: thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible
thought, I
: don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not
connect
: with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate
that also
: delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my
lifestyle. I
: should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are
long gone.
: I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep
things going.
: Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a
step in the
: right direction?
:
: -M
:
:
:
:
:

"Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com> wrote in message
news:4ulTd.109819$mt.108901@fed1read03...
>I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered
>around
> drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this
> shit, because
> if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be
> gone. I
> bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely.
> The
> thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible
> thought, I
> don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not
> connect
> with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate that
> also
> delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my
> lifestyle. I
> should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are
> long gone.
> I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep
> things going.
> Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a step
> in the
> right direction?
>
> -M

Are you completely insane?

Whey even think of AA and it's twelve steps when you can simply
grieve the long gone girl friend, best friend, lost potential, even
responsibility you could learn to handle if you were sober? Are you
even contemplating losing the losers in bars that stay with your
unfulfilled life on a comfortable, steady spiral; if even if it is a
downhill journey?

Bob

On Thu, 24 Feb 2005 06:26:09 -0800, "Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com>
wrote:

> The
>thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible thought, I
>don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not connect
>with anything that was happening there.

Former hardcore drinkers have the following to say - (it's probly
light-years away from where you're at, but it's ok if you know about
it anyway...being as you're a college grad and might have actual
comprehension skills...consider it educational material...it's
straight out of AA but most people who go to the meetings either
aren't aware of it or take pains to conceal it) ...google any phrase
to learn more...have a nice life.

---------
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to
shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the
alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but
usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried
these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we
have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars,
nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee
parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this
may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask
yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or
personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a
little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you
answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension.
Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid
spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is
thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the
occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you
had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing
about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase
the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to
your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to
eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are
not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place
explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do
this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were
drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are
getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to
withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

"Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com> wrote in message
news:4ulTd.109819$mt.108901@fed1read03...
>I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered around
> drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this shit,
> because
> if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be gone. I
> bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely. The
> thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible thought, I
> don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not connect
> with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate that also
> delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my lifestyle. I
> should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are long
> gone.
> I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep things
> going.
> Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a step in the
> right direction?
>
> -M

By the way you are talking, it doesn't sound like everyone you know and
everything you do, is turning your crank too good. Ever thought of wiping
the slate clean and starting a brand new sober exciting life filled with all
kinds of activities? Golf, bowling hiking camping skiing boating, sober jobs
etc??? new sober friends, and a new girlfriend who actually wants you?

AA doesn't work for me either. I have trouble with the whole higher
power thing and believing that I have no control over my problem. You
might want to give SMART a try at: http://www.smartrecovery.org

Hope to see you there.

-R

> I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered around
> drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this shit, because
> if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be gone. I
> bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely. The
> thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible thought, I
> don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not connect
> with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate that also
> delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my lifestyle. I
> should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are long gone.
> I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep things going.
> Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a step in the
> right direction?
>
> -M

>I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered around
> drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this shit,
> > because if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will
> be > gone.

I remember well a time when I was drinking and because of some kind of
trouble, tried to imagine living without booze. I could not. The idea of
coming home after work and NOT having a glassful of vodka was totally
unacceptable to me - so I continued drinking until I had no choice
whatsoever. I was lucky - I survived.

I also remember that some time after immersing myself in AA, hearing Clancy
I. explaining that when we quit drinking, we're giving up our best friend
who was always there to help us celebrate good stuff and ease the pain of
the bad. This leaves holes in our lives, and THAT'S why we need AA...to
replace alcohol. And what a delightful surprise it was to find that sobriety
was such an extraordinary improvement over our drinking days.

AA goes far beyond just helping us to quit drinking. It teaches us how to
live happily without the stuff.

I suggest you go to a few AA meetings and just listen. No one will make you
embarrass yourself, and just maybe you'll see what I'm talking about.

Take gentle care,

nat

I suggest therapy with a shrink, a real certified one not some self
proclaimed therapist. AA is a cult, plain and simple. Replacing
alcohol with a cult is not a step in the right direction, even if it
keeps you sober. AA members specialize in taking advantage of
new-comers because they're very impressionable, and vulnerable. They
will rip down any self esteem you have left, and if you try to stop
them they will say you're in denial and tell you that you will fail
without them. AA is extremely manipulative (it should be illegal).

Instead I strongly suggest self-empowering, positive reinforcement
therapy (with a real shrink). Do anything you can to get threw the
withdrawl. Personally I distracted myself, I cooked a lot, I did a lot
of housework, I took my dog outside a lot, I stayed very busy. This
doesn't work forever but withdrawl doesn't last forever either. For me
it took over 6 months before I wasn't thinking about alcohol 24/7. It
gets a little bit easier every day. Reward yourself with icecream, or
whatever, if it helps (but not too much). With all your new spare time
do things you enjoy, especially things that you can be proud of later.

After the withdrawl is over and your head starts to wind down to a
normal pace, then you can start working on the roots of your problems.
I think alcoholism is not much different than anger management,
compulsiveness, and a lot of other disfunctions, but I don't think its
a disease. Something caused you to drink, there's a million possible
reasons, that's what the shrink is for. If you don't like the first
shrink you find, don't be shy, just fire them and find a new one, but
don't give up on them all.

This is more or less what I did. I haven't seen a shrink yet, I just
started to look for one recently. I've been sober over 2 years.
Alcohol isn't a problem for me anymore, so now I reevaluate my issues
and am trying to fix my next biggest problem, which is resentment.

I think you know what you need to do, you just need to get yourself to
do it. Be patient with yourself, stay calm, and good luck.

" rosie readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<sDlTd.28593$0h5.3699@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com>...
> yes, mike help from hardcore drinkers is EXACTLY what helped
> me....................
> please go back to AA and talk to someone about being new, and
> feeling UNIQUE in your surroundings and feeling like you don't fit
> it..
>
> there is help for you,
> rosie
>
>
> "Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com> wrote in message
> news:4ulTd.109819$mt.108901@fed1read03...
> : I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered
> around
> : drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this
> shit, because
> : if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be
> gone. I
> : bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely.
> The
> : thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible
> thought, I
> : don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not
> connect
> : with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate
> that also
> : delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my
> lifestyle. I
> : should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are
> long gone.
> : I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep
> things going.
> : Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a
> step in the
> : right direction?
> :
> : -M
> :
> :
> :
> :
> :

Yeah AA is kinda like brainwashing huh, well I needed what little
brains I had after 30 years of alcohol and drugs washed .Problem I
found with shrinks was finding a sober one.

Btw, you dont get many good hugs at the shrinks!

Regards

On 24 Feb 2005 11:21:08 -0800, robert@linuxfromscratch.org (Robert
Connolly) wrote:

>I suggest therapy with a shrink, a real certified one not some self
>proclaimed therapist. AA is a cult, plain and simple. Replacing
>alcohol with a cult is not a step in the right direction, even if it
>keeps you sober. AA members specialize in taking advantage of
>new-comers because they're very impressionable, and vulnerable. They
>will rip down any self esteem you have left, and if you try to stop
>them they will say you're in denial and tell you that you will fail
>without them. AA is extremely manipulative (it should be illegal).
>
>Instead I strongly suggest self-empowering, positive reinforcement
>therapy (with a real shrink). Do anything you can to get threw the
>withdrawl. Personally I distracted myself, I cooked a lot, I did a lot
>of housework, I took my dog outside a lot, I stayed very busy. This
>doesn't work forever but withdrawl doesn't last forever either. For me
>it took over 6 months before I wasn't thinking about alcohol 24/7. It
>gets a little bit easier every day. Reward yourself with icecream, or
>whatever, if it helps (but not too much). With all your new spare time
>do things you enjoy, especially things that you can be proud of later.
>
>After the withdrawl is over and your head starts to wind down to a
>normal pace, then you can start working on the roots of your problems.
>I think alcoholism is not much different than anger management,
>compulsiveness, and a lot of other disfunctions, but I don't think its
>a disease. Something caused you to drink, there's a million possible
>reasons, that's what the shrink is for. If you don't like the first
>shrink you find, don't be shy, just fire them and find a new one, but
>don't give up on them all.
>
>This is more or less what I did. I haven't seen a shrink yet, I just
>started to look for one recently. I've been sober over 2 years.
>Alcohol isn't a problem for me anymore, so now I reevaluate my issues
>and am trying to fix my next biggest problem, which is resentment.
>
>I think you know what you need to do, you just need to get yourself to
>do it. Be patient with yourself, stay calm, and good luck.
>
>" rosie readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<sDlTd.28593$0h5.3699@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com>...
>> yes, mike help from hardcore drinkers is EXACTLY what helped
>> me....................
>> please go back to AA and talk to someone about being new, and
>> feeling UNIQUE in your surroundings and feeling like you don't fit
>> it..
>>
>> there is help for you,
>> rosie
>>
>>
>> "Mike B" <geldof@youwish.com> wrote in message
>> news:4ulTd.109819$mt.108901@fed1read03...
>> : I am coming to figure out that my entire life has been centered
>> around
>> : drinking now for about 14 years. I'm a bit scared to face this
>> shit, because
>> : if I try to give it up everyone I know and everything I do will be
>> gone. I
>> : bartend and hang out at bars and that has become my life entirely.
>> The
>> : thought of staying home, sober by myself, is such a terrible
>> thought, I
>> : don't know where to start. I tried a few AA meetings, but did not
>> connect
>> : with anything that was happening there. I'm a college graduate
>> that also
>> : delivers pizza because it is a night job that benefits my
>> lifestyle. I
>> : should be doing so much more.. My girlfriend and best friend are
>> long gone.
>> : I got a DUI in Dec and I am seriously wondering if I can keep
>> things going.
>> : Any help from former hardcore drinkers would be.. I dunno... a
>> step in the
>> : right direction?
>> :
>> : -M
>> :
>> :
>> :
>> :
>> :

Daveb

"Robert Connolly" <robert@linuxfromscratch.org> wrote in message
news:1bda4890.0502241121.44a2c@posting.google.com. ..
: I suggest therapy with a shrink, a real certified one not some
self
: proclaimed therapist. AA is a cult, plain and simple. Replacing
: alcohol with a cult is not a step in the right direction, even if
it
: keeps you sober. AA members specialize in taking advantage of
: new-comers because they're very impressionable, and vulnerable.
They
: will rip down any self esteem you have left, and if you try to
stop
: them they will say you're in denial and tell you that you will
fail
: without them. AA is extremely manipulative (it should be illegal).
:


robert,
i am soooooooooo glad that the AA that is in my life is NOT as you
describe.................
i would be dead!