January 5, 2005


Daily Reflections

TOTAL ACCEPTANCE

He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152

Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
statement like this one. The double standard that held
me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had
ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary
one if I was to succeed in this program.

" rosie readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:wg%Cd.170789$ye4.53001@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> January 5, 2005
>
>
> Daily Reflections
>
> TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
>
> He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
> be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
> it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
> be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
> ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152
>
> Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
> statement like this one. The double standard that held
> me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
> terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
> to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
> going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
> ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
> acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
> whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
> my recovery.

------------

So, those who believe themselves to be alcoholics who
argue/claim/suggest that it is not possible to recover from
alcoholism, have not totally accepted their alcoholism ?

JB

>> Daily Reflections
>>
>> TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
>>
>> He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
>> be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
>> it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
>> be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
>> ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152
>>
>> Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
>> statement like this one. The double standard that held
>> me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
>> terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
>> to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
>> going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
>> ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
>> acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
>> whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
>> my recovery.
>
> ------------
>
> So, those who believe themselves to be alcoholics who
> argue/claim/suggest that it is not possible to recover from
> alcoholism, have not totally accepted their alcoholism ?
>
> JB

I don't think that's what it's saying. Isn't it just telling how so many
reach that final stage of bewilderment where there seemed to be no workable
solution? Some grab hold of the AA program - others die.

nat

"JB" <JBCatRB@coldman.com> wrote in message
news:cri4ha$t6d$1@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
>
> " rosie readandpost" <readandpost@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:wg%Cd.170789$ye4.53001@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> > January 5, 2005
> >
> >
> > Daily Reflections
> >
> > TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
> >
> > He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
> > be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
> > it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
> > be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
> > ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152
> >
> > Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
> > statement like this one. The double standard that held
> > me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
> > terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
> > to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
> > going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
> > ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
> > acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
> > whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
> > my recovery.
>
> ------------
>
> So, those who believe themselves to be alcoholics who
> argue/claim/suggest that it is not possible to recover from
> alcoholism, have not totally accepted their alcoholism ?
>
> JB
>
>
>

Perhaps focusing on what this passage means to each of us personally versus
what it means to a general discussion of alcoholism as a whole was the
intent of the Daily Reflection. That may be the reason the word
"reflection" is used in the title of the book.

For me, while it may sound a bit general in the "only an alcoholic," for me
that passage on page 152 is very accurate to one who has reached this
jumping-off place -- where we don't want to drink but we don't want to die.
For this (the one writing above) alcoholic and for me, it was not until we
had finally reached this point that we could accept that we were alcoholics
"with no reservations whatsoever" and that acceptance was absolutely
essential for my recovery also. It was not essential for me to accept this
on some esoteric level -- it essential for me to accept this "period" IF I
was to have any hope of recovery.

Until I had come to the realization that I was well and truly an alcoholic
and that I was going to die, there was no hope for my recovery. I know a
few alcoholics who will "state" they do not believe it is possible to
recover from alcoholism. These few have nearly identical traits when it
comes to this issue. They have not reached that jumping-off point. These
are not folks I simply know in passing, but folks I have known closely for
many years. They simply have not reached a point where they desperately did
not want to drink and knew they could not live without a drink, but did not
want to die and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that drinking was killing
them. Sometimes one -- other times the other - but never both
simultaneously. Having reached this point myself, it filled me with such
fear and loss that the actual confusion is difficult to describe. I simply
did not know what to do -- I thought perhaps I wanted to die, but faced with
the immense weight of that decision, I found the truth was that I
desperately wanted to live, but truly and faithfully believed I would die if
I drank and die if I didn't.



Bobby L