Hi there, I am new to this NG, just found it. Great info and
discussions.

I knew I had a problem, but I did not know I was an alcoholic until I
stopped drinking 5 days ago. The day I stopped, I started going
through what I thought was one of the scariest most painful
experiences of my life.

I have been a "casual" drinker for about 5 years and it never has
caused any trouble. Over the past two years though, I began drinking a
little more (maybe 2 or 3 days per week swilling 3-4 beers per
sitting, more on the weekends) About once a month, I would go on a
drinking marathon on a weekend - killing off at least a bottle of
750ml Vodka or Whiskey by Sunday night. Still, by Monday morning I was
pretty much fine. Well, this last "binge" I took had me drinking that
amount per day for 4 days straight and I decided that's enough. I am
lucky to be alive and to still have my job! I saw some other posts
talking about you having to hit rock bottom before you can quit -
well, that was definitely the bottom for me!

When I decided to quit 5 days ago for good, I thought I must have the
flu. I started doing some research online about my symptoms and found
"alcohol withdrawal syndrome" by pure accident. I had never heard of
it but the symptoms fit to a tee what was happening to me. I've had
hangovers, but never anything like withdrawal. I had the shaking,
sweating, flushed face, wild heartbeat, total insomnia, anxiety, skin
crawling, scary images when I closed my eyes and very wild dreams (no
nightmares though). As I learned too late, I probaly should have gone
to a detox clinic - this shit can be deadly!

Well, now at day 5 it is all over. I feel fantastic. I am loving life.
I am sooooooo glad to have alcohol out of my system! I never ever want
to go through that again and I do not want to ever drink again - ever.

I have pondered that just like other painful things I have gone
through in my life, I might forget the severity and level of pain that
this caused me. I do not want to forget this. I want to remember how
bad it was. So, I decided to write a journal while I was going through
the withdrawal - I wrote on several pages in as much detail as I could
how horrible the withdrawal was day by day. The Horror! The Horror! If
(I guess I should say when) I feel like having a drink in the future,
I have the pain of withdrawal on paper to refer to. That's not my only
motivation to stay sober, but it will help.

Sorry for the long post, just thought I would share my experience.
Good luck to you all!

Day 12 for me and feeling good physically but am finding it difficult
handling "friends" who are still drinking and inviting me to join them. One
other thing is that during my last drinking bout one of these "friends"
stole a considerable amount of money from me. I don't have proof in the
legal sense but I am 100% sure. I have not confronted him as yet, he will
deny it and I can't accuse without proof. I really don't know what to do
here but I have got to resolve it some way. This is the type of thing I
would use as an excuse to drink again, I would get drunk and THEN confront
him leading to who knows what.

--

Kenny


"Mark" <mrollings327@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6a036ff0.0408242338.3ba49f5@posting.google.co m...
> Hi there, I am new to this NG, just found it. Great info and
> discussions.
>
> I knew I had a problem, but I did not know I was an alcoholic until I
> stopped drinking 5 days ago. The day I stopped, I started going
> through what I thought was one of the scariest most painful
> experiences of my life.
>
> I have been a "casual" drinker for about 5 years and it never has
> caused any trouble. Over the past two years though, I began drinking a
> little more (maybe 2 or 3 days per week swilling 3-4 beers per
> sitting, more on the weekends) About once a month, I would go on a
> drinking marathon on a weekend - killing off at least a bottle of
> 750ml Vodka or Whiskey by Sunday night. Still, by Monday morning I was
> pretty much fine. Well, this last "binge" I took had me drinking that
> amount per day for 4 days straight and I decided that's enough. I am
> lucky to be alive and to still have my job! I saw some other posts
> talking about you having to hit rock bottom before you can quit -
> well, that was definitely the bottom for me!
>
> When I decided to quit 5 days ago for good, I thought I must have the
> flu. I started doing some research online about my symptoms and found
> "alcohol withdrawal syndrome" by pure accident. I had never heard of
> it but the symptoms fit to a tee what was happening to me. I've had
> hangovers, but never anything like withdrawal. I had the shaking,
> sweating, flushed face, wild heartbeat, total insomnia, anxiety, skin
> crawling, scary images when I closed my eyes and very wild dreams (no
> nightmares though). As I learned too late, I probaly should have gone
> to a detox clinic - this shit can be deadly!
>
> Well, now at day 5 it is all over. I feel fantastic. I am loving life.
> I am sooooooo glad to have alcohol out of my system! I never ever want
> to go through that again and I do not want to ever drink again - ever.
>
> I have pondered that just like other painful things I have gone
> through in my life, I might forget the severity and level of pain that
> this caused me. I do not want to forget this. I want to remember how
> bad it was. So, I decided to write a journal while I was going through
> the withdrawal - I wrote on several pages in as much detail as I could
> how horrible the withdrawal was day by day. The Horror! The Horror! If
> (I guess I should say when) I feel like having a drink in the future,
> I have the pain of withdrawal on paper to refer to. That's not my only
> motivation to stay sober, but it will help.
>
> Sorry for the long post, just thought I would share my experience.
> Good luck to you all!

In article <cghv7c$h6c$1@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, me@privacy.net says...
> Day 12 for me and feeling good physically but am finding it difficult
> handling "friends" who are still drinking and inviting me to join them. One
> other thing is that during my last drinking bout one of these "friends"
> stole a considerable amount of money from me. I don't have proof in the
> legal sense but I am 100% sure. I have not confronted him as yet, he will
> deny it and I can't accuse without proof. I really don't know what to do
> here but I have got to resolve it some way. This is the type of thing I
> would use as an excuse to drink again, I would get drunk and THEN confront
> him leading to who knows what.
>
>
I've noticed that when I 'sober up' all those
good ole drinking buddies want to get their
hands on a little bit of your 'extra money'.
Drug dealers come out of the woodwork, too,
cuz they KNOW that you're craving something
to 'take the edge off'. Got to watch out
for all those 'friends' out there. Well;
I went for 100 days, crapped out for a
week and now am getting back on my feet
and already heard some sobstories from
some drugdealers who are just trying to
keep up on their fines. Goodtime buddies
and girlfriends always want your around
when they can 'suck you dry' err get you
to pay for the gas and food. Falling off
of the wagon is expensive enough as it
is and now I'm struggling just to get
some hours in during this payperiod so
I can float my bank account for all
the so-called 'pay day' loans to cover
bills which are coming up in a few
weeks again.
--
Set as Default Signature

In article <6a036ff0.0408242338.3ba49f5@posting.google.com> ,
mrollings327@yahoo.com says...
> Hi there, I am new to this NG, just found it. Great info and
> discussions.
>
> I knew I had a problem, but I did not know I was an alcoholic until I
> stopped drinking 5 days ago. The day I stopped, I started going
> through what I thought was one of the scariest most painful
> experiences of my life.
>
> I have been a "casual" drinker for about 5 years and it never has
> caused any trouble. Over the past two years though, I began drinking a
> little more (maybe 2 or 3 days per week swilling 3-4 beers per
> sitting, more on the weekends) About once a month, I would go on a
> drinking marathon on a weekend - killing off at least a bottle of
> 750ml Vodka or Whiskey by Sunday night. Still, by Monday morning I was
> pretty much fine. Well, this last "binge" I took had me drinking that
> amount per day for 4 days straight and I decided that's enough. I am
> lucky to be alive and to still have my job! I saw some other posts
> talking about you having to hit rock bottom before you can quit -
> well, that was definitely the bottom for me!
>
> When I decided to quit 5 days ago for good, I thought I must have the
> flu. I started doing some research online about my symptoms and found
> "alcohol withdrawal syndrome" by pure accident. I had never heard of
> it but the symptoms fit to a tee what was happening to me. I've had
> hangovers, but never anything like withdrawal. I had the shaking,
> sweating, flushed face, wild heartbeat, total insomnia, anxiety, skin
> crawling, scary images when I closed my eyes and very wild dreams (no
> nightmares though). As I learned too late, I probaly should have gone
> to a detox clinic - this shit can be deadly!

Usually, it's just really miserable. What kind of weird shit
did you see when you closed your eyes? I had very vivid images
of really horrible shit that's so offensive to me I don't even
wanna know how my brain could've generated! But I did meet
my demons and they're real!

>
> Well, now at day 5 it is all over. I feel fantastic. I am loving life.
> I am sooooooo glad to have alcohol out of my system! I never ever want
> to go through that again and I do not want to ever drink again - ever.

Becareful! It's usually at that point when you're feeling
great that you might wanna 'little nip' of gasoline from
the old liquor store. And they're always glad to see me
back after horrible bout of sobriety.


--
Set as Default Signature

: "Mark" <mrollings327@yahoo.com> wrote in message
: news:6a036ff0.0408242338.3ba49f5@posting.google.co m...
: > Hi there, I am new to this NG, just found it. Great info and
: > discussions.
: >
:

welcome mark.......................besides writing in a journal, are
you planning on doing anything else for your disease of alcoholism?

"Kenny" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:cghv7c$h6c$1@news7.svr.pol.co.uk...
: Day 12 for me and feeling good physically

that's great!



:but am finding it difficult
: handling "friends" who are still drinking and inviting me to join
them.



i made new friends when i started in recovery from alcoholism.





:................ This is the type of thing I
: would use as an excuse to drink again,


what are you doing to "treat" your alcoholism?
support group? AA meetings? what?

> Day 12 for me and feeling good physically but am finding it difficult
> handling "friends" who are still drinking and inviting me to join them.
One

Well, that's one that won't change. I have a good and well meaning friend
who sometimes tempts me just because he doesn't really undertsand.

Yesterday I had my 15 month birthday. He doesn't count the days, of course,
and I didn't mention the 15 months, but he knew that it had been more than a
year. He said: "Gee, you only got to drinking heavily because of your
marriage and now you've been divorced to six months and you're doing fine.
If you can just quit drinking for a year, you must be okay. You could
probably have a beer with us if you felt like it."

I didn't flash on him. I just said: "What if I could and I stopped there?
On the other hand, what if I couldn't and I went right back to drinking all
night, every night? A beer seems like a pretty small pleasure to justify
the risk."

That, he seemed to undertand.

>Usually, it's just really miserable. What kind of weird shit
> did you see when you closed your eyes?

I think I had the 'pre-DT's'. No hallucinations, but while resting, not
quite asleep, some kind of prehistoric bird suddenly came right at me so
fast it made me jump to avoid getting hit.


>Well, now at day 5 it is all over. I feel fantastic. I am loving life.
>I am sooooooo glad to have alcohol out of my system! I never ever want
>to go through that again and I do not want to ever drink again - ever.

My sentiments exactly. Now I'm trying to remember from each relapse just
what exactly tripped me up. In every case it was my thinking, not any
particular event. I always get my confidence back up after a month or so
dry, and quit going to meetings or these newsgroups. That's one action I'm
going to take this time around -stay close to the meetings and ng's, for a
constant reminder of the hell it was. -Fred

"Fred Exley" <fexly221@msn.com> wrote in message
news:10ipcj3r29i6hb3@corp.supernews.com...
.................. Now I'm trying to remember from each relapse just
: what exactly tripped me up. In every case it was my thinking, not
any
: particular event.

congrats to you fred, for reaching this point!
way to be!

rosie

"Fred Exley" <fexly221@msn.com> wrote in message
news:10ipcj3r29i6hb3@corp.supernews.com...
> >Usually, it's just really miserable. What kind of weird shit
> > did you see when you closed your eyes?
>
> I think I had the 'pre-DT's'. No hallucinations, but while resting,
not
> quite asleep, some kind of prehistoric bird suddenly came right at
me so
> fast it made me jump to avoid getting hit.
>
>
> >Well, now at day 5 it is all over. I feel fantastic. I am loving
life.
> >I am sooooooo glad to have alcohol out of my system! I never ever
want
> >to go through that again and I do not want to ever drink again -
ever.
>
> My sentiments exactly. Now I'm trying to remember from each relapse
just
> what exactly tripped me up. In every case it was my thinking, not
any
> particular event. I always get my confidence back up after a month
or so
> dry, and quit going to meetings or these newsgroups. That's one
action I'm
> going to take this time around -stay close to the meetings and ng's,
for a
> constant reminder of the hell it was. -Fred
>
Hi Fred,

Firstly, I hope that what I am about to say will not cause you to
become offended.

From comments you've posted here, I've got the impression that you
found Step 1 helpful. If you have chosen to follow the AA route to
recovery and think you have done Step 1 to your satisfaction, do you
think now would be a good time to move onto Step 2 ?

ATB

JB