Thanks
Thanks for the good advice.
We booked him into a very good rehab, for hopefully six months, yesterday
and he has our word that he is not coming back to us unless clean and sober.
It was his choice. The choice was the streets or rehab and he strangely
enough picked rehab. Listening to the counselor I realised that a person
needs a 'new' chance. A place away from home, family and friends. A fresh
start.
Will have to see how it goes but one thing is for sure. I am powerless over
alcohol in myself and in other people.
Kind regards
Mias
"Blue Moon" <mfoco@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:sp3qg0ht4q0qdl635k2fmlfjkno3c741co@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 1 Aug 2004 06:15:16 +0200, "Mias"
> <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote:
>
> >Thank you all for advice. Will run it one day at a time. It is bad when
> >alcohol starts ruining your life once more without drinking self! It is 6
am
> >now and my stepson went god knows where last night, without money,
returning
> >3 am and sloshed. My wife and I can only take so much lying awake and
> >wondering what is going on.
>
> It seems to me that, in some ways, this can drive a person more insane
> than if they were drinking... at least booze took off the "edge" for a
> while
>
> If junior is big enough to go out alone at night and get sloshed, he's
> big enough to feed, clothe and house himself.
>
> Until that day arrives, I'm afraid that even with the best of
> intentions what your wife and yourself are doing is called "enabling".
> Until that day arrives, you can expect more sleepless nights.
>
> Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to "let go".
>
> --
> Blue Moon

"Mias" <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote in message
news:ceko2t$asl$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> Thanks
> Thanks for the good advice.
> We booked him into a very good rehab, for hopefully six months, yesterday
> and he has our word that he is not coming back to us unless clean and
sober.
> It was his choice. The choice was the streets or rehab and he strangely
> enough picked rehab. Listening to the counselor I realised that a person
> needs a 'new' chance. A place away from home, family and friends. A fresh
> start.
> Will have to see how it goes but one thing is for sure. I am powerless
over
> alcohol in myself and in other people.
> Kind regards
> Mias

Mias
I'm glad he chose rehab, I've seen many who didn't.
God Bless
John

what a BIG, POSITIVE and LOVING STEP you and your family have made!
be sure you insist on the family therapy offered also
mias................EVERYONE will benefit!

--

just another republican witch hunt!
http://www.truthout.org/docs_04/080104A.shtml













"Mias" <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote in message
news:ceko2t$asl$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
: Thanks
: Thanks for the good advice.
: We booked him into a very good rehab, for hopefully six months,
yesterday
: and he has our word that he is not coming back to us unless clean
and sober.
: It was his choice. The choice was the streets or rehab and he
strangely
: enough picked rehab. Listening to the counselor I realised that a
person
: needs a 'new' chance. A place away from home, family and friends.
A fresh
: start.
: Will have to see how it goes but one thing is for sure. I am
powerless over
: alcohol in myself and in other people.
: Kind regards
: Mias
: "Blue Moon" <mfoco@hotmail.com> wrote in message
: news:sp3qg0ht4q0qdl635k2fmlfjkno3c741co@4ax.com...
: > On Sun, 1 Aug 2004 06:15:16 +0200, "Mias"
: > <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote:
: >
: > >Thank you all for advice. Will run it one day at a time. It is
bad when
: > >alcohol starts ruining your life once more without drinking
self! It is 6
: am
: > >now and my stepson went god knows where last night, without
money,
: returning
: > >3 am and sloshed. My wife and I can only take so much lying
awake and
: > >wondering what is going on.
: >
: > It seems to me that, in some ways, this can drive a person more
insane
: > than if they were drinking... at least booze took off the "edge"
for a
: > while
: >
: > If junior is big enough to go out alone at night and get
sloshed, he's
: > big enough to feed, clothe and house himself.
: >
: > Until that day arrives, I'm afraid that even with the best of
: > intentions what your wife and yourself are doing is called
"enabling".
: > Until that day arrives, you can expect more sleepless nights.
: >
: > Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to "let go".
: >
: > --
: > Blue Moon
:
:

Hang in there, Mias. I know how helpless you feel. If only we could do it
for them but, we can't. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I am
glad he chose rehab.
All the best,
Gail

"Mias" <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote in message
news:ceko2t$asl$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> Thanks
> Thanks for the good advice.
> We booked him into a very good rehab, for hopefully six months, yesterday
> and he has our word that he is not coming back to us unless clean and
sober.
> It was his choice. The choice was the streets or rehab and he strangely
> enough picked rehab. Listening to the counselor I realised that a person
> needs a 'new' chance. A place away from home, family and friends. A fresh
> start.
> Will have to see how it goes but one thing is for sure. I am powerless
over
> alcohol in myself and in other people.
> Kind regards
> Mias
> "Blue Moon" <mfoco@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:sp3qg0ht4q0qdl635k2fmlfjkno3c741co@4ax.com...
> > On Sun, 1 Aug 2004 06:15:16 +0200, "Mias"
> > <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote:
> >
> > >Thank you all for advice. Will run it one day at a time. It is bad when
> > >alcohol starts ruining your life once more without drinking self! It is
6
> am
> > >now and my stepson went god knows where last night, without money,
> returning
> > >3 am and sloshed. My wife and I can only take so much lying awake and
> > >wondering what is going on.
> >
> > It seems to me that, in some ways, this can drive a person more insane
> > than if they were drinking... at least booze took off the "edge" for a
> > while
> >
> > If junior is big enough to go out alone at night and get sloshed, he's
> > big enough to feed, clothe and house himself.
> >
> > Until that day arrives, I'm afraid that even with the best of
> > intentions what your wife and yourself are doing is called "enabling".
> > Until that day arrives, you can expect more sleepless nights.
> >
> > Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to "let go".
> >
> > --
> > Blue Moon
>
>

"Mias" <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote in message
news:cefruc$q4e$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> Hi all
> My stepson has sort of accepted going to re-hab as an option. Does
anyone
> here know if re-hab work and what is the scenario for it to work,
if so?
> Kind regards
> Mias
>

"We learned from experience that the program is defeated in
institutions where the majority of inmates are repeaters" Sister
(Ignacia) said. "It creates an atmosphere of pessimism and
discouragement." Doctor Bob and the Good Oldtimers p191

Mias, that punches a dent in my opposition to your osmosis theory,
doesn't it. On the other hand, that your stepson did not recover in
your own home punches a dent in your theory.

Perhaps I'm remiss in not recalling the AA opinion earlier, however
to consider a change in facilities may be important to your wife and
yourself, should the majority at the chosen facility prove to be
"repeaters."

Better late than never Bob

Thanks Bob - we do not have all that much choice of rehabs in South Africa.
The problem seems to be related to recovered alcoholics/addicts turning
counselor and then slipping while counseling, on the one side and counselors
with no experience for themselves in for a few thousand quick medical aid or
daddies bucks on the other. I do acknowledge that family are too close and
subjective to assist in a meaningful manner. I am not a counselor in any
case, only walking proof that there is a way.
The rehab that we chose is run by a very dedicated Christian Pastor. The
worst result I am hoping for is reinforcement of 'I am in this predicament
because of drugs and alcohol' and the best scenario is 'there is a way out
and I am going that way'. However, depression, suicidal tendencies,
Hepatitis, HIV and personality problems do make a potent brew for denial. I
have given up and admit that I am powerless over alcohol and if I want to
save his life I have to admit it and let others get on with what they do
best. When a depressed, hung over, just out of attempted suicide bundle of
self-pity explain to you that he is not taking the anti-depressants
prescribed because 'it makes him sleepy' (And NO, I am NOT going to the
nuthouse!) you just get that feeling that you are being manipulated into
running in circles. The choice of certification is IMHO the last resort but
a very difficult decision because one does not really know where the line is
between able / unable to decide for better with alcoholics and drug addicts.
I know that certification would possibly not have worked for me and I might
have lapsed into a state-cared for institutionalized zombie. It does
happen... I was on the verge of being a total drain on society and that is
what society eventually does.
Kind regards
Mias
"Robert McGregor" <robert_mcgregor@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:2n7petFtogakU1@uni-berlin.de...
>
> "Mias" <emiasno@spamnetactivetome.co.za> wrote in message
> news:cefruc$q4e$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net...
> > Hi all
> > My stepson has sort of accepted going to re-hab as an option. Does
> anyone
> > here know if re-hab work and what is the scenario for it to work,
> if so?
> > Kind regards
> > Mias
> >
>
> "We learned from experience that the program is defeated in
> institutions where the majority of inmates are repeaters" Sister
> (Ignacia) said. "It creates an atmosphere of pessimism and
> discouragement." Doctor Bob and the Good Oldtimers p191
>
> Mias, that punches a dent in my opposition to your osmosis theory,
> doesn't it. On the other hand, that your stepson did not recover in
> your own home punches a dent in your theory.
>
> Perhaps I'm remiss in not recalling the AA opinion earlier, however
> to consider a change in facilities may be important to your wife and
> yourself, should the majority at the chosen facility prove to be
> "repeaters."
>
> Better late than never Bob
>
>
>