"JB" <JBCatRB@coldman.com> wrote in message
news:budv5u$uha$1@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
> "Ron" <can@the.spam> wrote in message
> news:aLnOb.76512$sv6.176491@attbi_s52...
> > On Sun, 18 Jan 2004 13:33:24 +1000,
> <snip>
>
> > I don't know why I'm setting myself up for a lashing by the AA
> faithful,
> > but I must say, I'm a fair weather friend to AA. I take what I can
> use,
> > and leave the rest. I'm not looking for a sponsor; nor do I place
> any
> > stock in steps 2, 3, 6, 7, 11, or 12.
>
> <snip>
>
> Hi Ron,
>
> At this time, I want to try and explain what Step 2 means to me.
> Firstly, some background info
>
> I believe that I speak the truth when I say that I have made serious
> attempts to give up drinking only twice since I began to drink in the
> late 1970's.
>
> When I gave up drinking in the early 1990's, I thought that no-one
> could help me with the life issues that were then deeply troubling me.
> When I asked for help, sometimes I benefited for a short time from
> what I received. However, at that time, I did not realise that what
> I was doing was not addressing the underlying cause of my problems,
> namely, my inability to accept life on it's terms. Inevitably, when
> life again became too much for me to bear, I again sought escape from
> it through booze.
>
> When I gave up drinking in June 2003 and was deciding how to give
> myself the best chance of never drinking again, I quickly became
> convinced that relying only on myself was not a good idea. Why ?
> Because I'd let myself down once before. I therefore decided to seek
> help.
>
> At that time, I could not bring myself to seek help through
> face-to-face talking. When I found this NG it seemed like the answer
> to my prayers. For a time it was all I relied on. When I found that I
> needed more help than it could provide, I followed some of its members
> advice and joined AA.
>
> I have learnt very many valuable lessons since joining these two
> groups. I've learnt that I have very little control over what happens
> in my life and that if I want to live more at ease with myself I need
> to always remember that I'm not able to make life always perfect for
> me. I've also learnt that if I drink on account of being frustrated
> or angered or example, by life, I am giving life a power over me that
> could harm me, maybe even kill me.
>
> When I think about Step 2, I think about this NG, my AA groups and my
> Sponsor . Why ? Because I'm convinced that by having them on my side
> and turning to them for help whenever I've needed to, I've found it
> easier to stay sober. I'm also convinced that if it hadn't been for
> the lessons I've learnt from them I would never be able to say today
> that I see I've changed since this time last year in ways which I
> consider to be changes for the better.
>
> As you know, Step 2 says:
>
> "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us
> to sanity".
>
> At this time, I believe that this NG, AA, my Sponsor and my HP are
> powers greater than myself. Why ? Because I'm convinced that their
> collective wisdom has given me - and will continue to give me - the
> additional strength I need to be able to not drink and also to be able
> to cope with life. And when I don't drink and when I'm able to cope
> with life, I have peace of mind. And when I have peace of mind, IMO,
> this means that I am restored to sanity.
> .
> Best regards
>
> JB
>

JB, your post reminded me of my own struggles coming to terms with step two.
Having experienced a psychic change from day one, when it dawned on my
alcohol befogged mind that possibly I need never drink again, I temporarily
"rewrote" step two, and changed the word "sanity" to the words "emotional
maturity."

After a little study, I recognised that in context, the "insanity" of step
two referred to the insanity of taking the first drink, repeatedly, despite
disastrous consequences.

Rewriting "insanity" back where it belonged, I then realised the operative
word of the entire step was "could" (possibly) as distinct from "would"
(assuredly.)

I ultimately ruled out the option you chose, collective wisdom, probably on
the grounds that all that supposed collective wisdom, came with an equal and
opposite collective absurdity.

The end result of all those mental gymnastics, for me, was that in taking,
as fearlessly and thoroughly as possible, the most positive steps I was
aware of to continue my newfound abstinence, my spark of hope was nurtured.
Coincidental with that continued hope, my mind remained open to the
possibility I could access an as yet unrealised resource. The resource that
others choose to call "God"

By practicing the principles I discovered in the steps, I learned how to
access that previously neglected resource, and hope became reality.

"Trust that resource, ("God") then clean house, (steps four through ten.)
Then, open my psyche to all options, including options previously rejected
due to unresolved guilts, insane resentments and fears (prayer), and query
that inner resource, (meditation - step eleven.)

In other words, trust "God" clean house, open house, ask "God." Trust "God,"
clean house, open house, ask "God." Trust "God," clean house, open house,
ask "God," ad infinitum.

Bob