"Xanadu" <xanadu@inorbit.com> wrote in message
newsan.2004.01.04.21.30.50.400062@inorbit.com...
> Hey!
>
> First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm about to
> get into the "why" of it.
>
> As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen back
> into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while over teh
> summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the tools that
> where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here, etc.). On
> Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month. I've
> got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major things that
> (I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7 drinking
> again:
>
> 1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at all
> with meetings, facing my issues, etc.
>
> 2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't sitting
> around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head or
> life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.
>
>
> I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been home a
> couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm going to
> a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some entrance
> exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it going again
> and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to one that
> I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or 9 years
> now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but, I need
> to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head working
> again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on the
> tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.
>
> Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention where I'm
> at these days.
>
> P.S.
> I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying and what
> not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines as I
> was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...
>
>
>

Xanadu,

Glad you made it back. Whatever path you choose I hope it works out for
you. One of the MYTHS of AA is "just don't drink and go to meetings." I'm
not sure where that developed but it is nowhere in the text. If you're
gonna try AA, I suggest you

a - get a sponsor, WHO HAS A SPONSOR
b - go to meetings (if you don't like the meeting you go to, then find
another - it's not we ever had trouble finding another drink, another bar,
another drinking buddy)
c - work the steps -- to the best of your ability today - it ain't gotta be
perfect - just a little better.(oh yeah, there is a reason they are
numbered).

If you try something else, then do whatever that program suggests you do.

For what it's worth,

Bobby L