Hey!

First, sorry for the lack of posting the past month or so, I'm about to
get into the "why" of it.

As I think I posted a couple times back in teh fall, I had fallen back
into the bottle for a while after drying out for a (short) while over teh
summer. I can honestly say that I had learned nothing for the tools that
where available to me (AA, a very short stint in a detox, here, etc.). On
Friday, I came home after being in a full-blown rehab for a month. I've
got (only) 33 days sober now, but I've realized the two major things that
(I think) fueled my awakening up after a few more months of 24/7 drinking
again:

1) I wasn't really using the tools available - I wasn't regular at all
with meetings, facing my issues, etc.

2) *I* didn't change - the *only* thing that changed was I wasn't sitting
around with a bottle in my hand anymore. I didn't change my head or
life any. That's the biggest part of the puzzle.


I haven't had any unbearable cravings thus far, but I've only been home a
couple days now, so we'll see what the future brings to me. I'm going to
a local community college on Tuesday and Wednesday to take some entrance
exams to try and get my stagnant mind back in school to get it going again
and to help get a job that I actually enjoy doing as opposed to one that
I'm just good at doing (I've been a Network Administrator for 8 or 9 years
now). I'm honestly not exactly sure what it is I want to do, but, I need
to start somewhere and going back to school to help get my head working
again is a start in my eyes. I'm 30 now so a lot of the stuff on the
tests I'm sure I won't do all that great at, but we'll see.

Anyway, I just wanted to say HI again, and to just quick mention where I'm
at these days.

P.S.
I don't know how responsive I'll still be in posting or replying and what
not. I'm trying not to spend as much time in front of my machines as I
was while I was just sitting around drinking all the damn time...