I'll take a different angle at this because it's already been said that your
wife won't get help until she decides to get help. That's the truth. But
let me add something different..



I am an insomniac. As with being an alcoholic, insomnia brings such
impressions as "weakness of will", "poor lifestyle", "improper diet" and
other failures of human character. I denied my insomnia and tried to fight
it-exhausted every day and taking sick days off of work to catch-up on my
sleep. I learned to fear and even hate the bed. The only thing that helped
me was drinking myself senseless and then crawling into bed. I couldn't
sleep without the booze and that had to change.



By this time, I knew I was an alcoholic, but I also had to admit that I was
an insomniac. Admitting "the insomnia problem" was somehow harder. For me,
it was easier to come out to friends as an alcoholic. But when it comes to
the insomnia, what are they going to say? "Great, look at what you
discovered. You need to take a pill every night to live a normal life."
And then you can almost hear them thinking, "You pussy. You can't
tough-it-out." But yes, I take a pill every night and I can work,
concentrate, and not drink.



I'm not saying that insomnia is your wife's problem; and if it is, "sleep
disorders" are a huge medical can-of-worms. You and your wife will have a
lot to learn. I am, however, saying you should face the alcohol, but you
also need to find the other issues that possibly led your wife to compound
this problem.



Best of luck,



--Devon



"Hank" <noguru@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:47ae5fba$0$22798$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
> Married 36 years, wife was active and healthy. In last
> couple of years she's slid into heavy drinking late at
> night, when I'm asleep. She'll then nap during the day.
> There is no risk of driving drunk, and with others she's
> sober. She doesn't seem depressed, and still manages the
> family's real estate competently.
>
> We have had no conflict about it. Her comment: "Yes, I
> sometimes drink too much." On a three week cruise she
> drank very little, but once we returned home she was
> back on schedule. Three hours of heavy drinking from
> 1-4AM, sleeping from 1-4PM, then up to make dinner. A
> crazy schedule, difficult life, and I feel terrible
> about it.
>
> I have no idea as to what might be done. She doesn't see
> a need to do anything at all. We love and respect each
> other, but this can ruin a long marriage.
>
> ???