Hank wrote:

> Married 36 years, wife was active and healthy. In last
> couple of years she's slid into heavy drinking late at
> night, when I'm asleep. She'll then nap during the day.
> There is no risk of driving drunk, and with others she's
> sober. She doesn't seem depressed, and still manages the
> family's real estate competently.
>
> We have had no conflict about it. Her comment: "Yes, I
> sometimes drink too much." On a three week cruise she
> drank very little, but once we returned home she was
> back on schedule. Three hours of heavy drinking from
> 1-4AM, sleeping from 1-4PM, then up to make dinner. A
> crazy schedule, difficult life, and I feel terrible
> about it.
>
> I have no idea as to what might be done. She doesn't see
> a need to do anything at all. We love and respect each
> other, but this can ruin a long marriage.

One of my co-workers has the same problem. When his wife drinks, she
becomes violent. She has just been drinking for several days, so he has
decided to leave her for the second time and restructure their
relationship. I feel like going to her and yelling "You have just
destroyed your marriage by continuing to drink!!! Are you proud of
yourself????"