skylashai@gmail.com wrote:
<SNIP>
> I hate alcohol. I don't need it in my life, don't want it. My
> doctor told me I was self-medicating for mild anxiety. I read a lot
> and I know how dangerous it is, how it works, how insidious it is. I
> have tried AA twice and left very quickly. I decided I needed help
> but the people at AA were smoking, and around their babies.

"How to Quit Drinking without AA by Jerry Dorsman lists alternates from
Rational Recovery, SOS to do-it-yourselferism. I am reading it now. It
discusses why some people do not use AA.





> This was
> the most backwards thing I have ever seen aside from when I look into
> the mirror. People are trying to save themselves from alcoholism and
> they are smoking? The second time, somebody tried to arrange a
> sponsor for me. So, I'm speaking with this man on the phone, and you
> know, he was kind of a jerk. I never called him back. It just made
> me feel like I should not be trying to rely on somebody else to solve
> this for me. I know how bad it is and it's my responsibility to end
> it.
> Especially after the nightmare I experienced with DT, it is
> astonishing that I would even go near alcohol. I have considered
> stopping talking to my friend, whom I mentioned earlier, but I am
> afraid of hurting his feelings. We've known each other for 16 years,
> been best friends. Maybe it's no small coincidence that 16 years is
> also the time I have had a drinking problem. But I can't blame him or
> anybody else.
> The only solace I have found is in the last place I looked, which is
> in faith and God. I spent part of my evening last night reading the
> various posts on this group and the stories I read sound so familiar,
> it's eerie.
> Some people can have a drink now and then. I can't. I have applied
> to volunteer at a hospital, and told my mom I am available for her
> church when they go out and help people. I'm afraid that no matter
> what I do, this can come back and nail me at any given time. It's
> scary. I can be sober for over a year and I know I'll always be at
> risk. Both of my dad's parents died from it, which pretty clearly
> shows I am genetically predisposed to this affliction.
> Curse this disease. Thank you for listening.