Yes Bill, good luck!
Definately give AA a try and continue with counseling. Find someone in AA
and give a go at them 12 Steps(speak up at meetings, tell your gonna die)!
Immerse
yourself into reading the Big Book (a story in the back a bit reminds
me of you), begin a morning devotion/quite time. Alcohol can easily push you
off that cliff!
web

>>I am new to the concept of "Recovery" and Addiction. I have been a heavy
>>drinker for the last 25 years, and have finally sought professional
>>counseling (Last 2 months). Man, this is by far the hardest thing I have
>>ever had to deal with so far in my life. (I am 45) I am going to give AA a
>>try, and see if that works for me. I am single, and have no one I want to
>>burden with this. I do have some close friends, but most are non drinkers,
>>who would just not understand.
>> The emotional element to alcoholism is huge, much bigger than even
>> perhaps the physical one. I am established in both career and financial
>> situations, I have worked very hard to get to this point in my life, but
>> am scared I might be heading off the proverbial cliff. To blow my life
>> away because of booze is a frightening thought. To admit this to myself
>> has been, the most terrifying thing. This coming from a guy that has
>> cheated death so many ways, Illness, Surgery, Car Accidents, Skull
>> Fracture, and even Skydiving (Twice)!
>> I feel like such a sap, unloading on a very public forum like this, but,
>> I really do not have any other outlet at this time. No other mind bending
>> substances I have ever done have had nearly the impact of Alcohol. I
>> guess "Everyone has his Poison" and alcohol has been mine.
>> I have read some of the heartfelt posts on this group, and the feelings
>> are genuine, and mirror my situation. It is just a shame it takes so long
>> to clue into what is going on.
>> Bill.