Zoloft wrote:
> I am new to the concept of "Recovery" and Addiction. I have been a heavy
> drinker for the last 25 years, and have finally sought professional
> counseling (Last 2 months). Man, this is by far the hardest thing I have
> ever had to deal with so far in my life. (I am 45) I am going to give AA
> a try, and see if that works for me. I am single, and have no one I want
> to burden with this. I do have some close friends, but most are non
> drinkers, who would just not understand.
>
> The emotional element to alcoholism is huge, much bigger than even
> perhaps the physical one. I am established in both career and financial
> situations, I have worked very hard to get to this point in my life, but
> am scared I might be heading off the proverbial cliff. To blow my life
> away because of booze is a frightening thought. To admit this to myself
> has been, the most terrifying thing. This coming from a guy that has
> cheated death so many ways, Illness, Surgery, Car Accidents, Skull
> Fracture, and even Skydiving (Twice)!
>
> I feel like such a sap, unloading on a very public forum like this, but,
> I really do not have any other outlet at this time. No other mind
> bending substances I have ever done have had nearly the impact of
> Alcohol. I guess "Everyone has his Poison" and alcohol has been mine.
>
> I have read some of the heartfelt posts on this group, and the feelings
> are genuine, and mirror my situation. It is just a shame it takes so
> long to clue into what is going on.
>
> Bill.

Bill, you're in the same situation I'm in and believe me you're not
feeling anything different than what I felt when I stopped drinking.

I am single too, which means I don't have a family that is being
burdened with my alcoholic insecurities. I felt like a lightweight and a
"wimp" when I stopped drinking at first but after a while I thought
about these certain insecurities and I just had to laugh because a lot
of what was bothering me was due to what OTHER PEOPLE thought of me.

I had a friend who, in all fairness, is no friend anymore just because
he saw that he didn't have his drinking partner anymore. We just don't
talk to each other. In some ways, I feel bad for him because he's still
on a path of self destruction but all in all I feel good that I really
don't share his insecurities anymore. I think a lot of the reason I was
friends with him for so many years was because I cared about what he saw
in me as a drinking buddy.

I believe that you feeling like a "sap" is only contributable to the
aforementioned and that you need to look past what people think about
you and take stock in the fact that you're doing what you're doing for
yourself and you should be proud of that.

Happy health and life to you.

Take care,
Monty