Seventeen months ago I began going to AA. I 'sort of' thought I was an
alcoholic, and had done so for about 8-10 years. Yet, I functioned,
never had the more obvious signals, and in many respects had life pretty
good. Yet, my wife and I were having trouble, and it'd become an issue.
So, I agreed to go. Deep down, I didn't really think I'd do more than
go for awhile, until 'the heat was off' on the homefront.

Somehow I managed to go to enough meetings, and read enough, and to
discuss enough, that I began to understand a few truths. Such as, there
was no 'sort of' about it; I _AM_ and have been for a long time an
alcoholic. I had lost control of how much and how often I drank, even
if I did manage to hide it most of the time. It had infected my
marriage, which came as a big surprise to me, since I'd long felt that
there was no harm in me drinking a few glasses of wine each night (O.K.,
it got to be frequently more than a few, and I frequently resorted to
strategies to hide how much I'd drunk the night before. I broke
promises to myself routinely regarding how much I'd allow myself to
drink in an evening. I even started to have trouble remembering all the
details of what I'd done the evening before when I awoke the next
morning.

Today, thanks to AA, life is pretty good once again, and fast getting
better. My marriage has been rejuvenated. A lot of my pride in myself
is coming back. I try to live the life of 'rigorous honesty',
continually looking at the ways that _I_ brought about my troubles.
Refusing to blame others for my own flaws, and working daily at 'fixing'
myself, rather than just drifting.

Surprising to me, people have told me that "you're a new man" and I see
that they're sincere.

Life's becoming a much, much happier place to be.

It can be for you also.

Maybe taking the plunge, . . fully, . . can lead to you getting your
life back to where you want it to be.

I'm just grateful that AA was there for me, and that its members shared
themselves with me, guided me, helped me, kicked me in the butt, etc. as
I needed them to do.

I never want to go back to where I was, even if that was was seemingly
successful in lots of its aspects.

HH



In article <kywth.180490$hn.133380@edtnps82>,
Zoloft <Zoloft@hotmail.com> wrote:

> I am new to the concept of "Recovery" and Addiction. I have been a heavy
> drinker for the last 25 years, and have finally sought professional
> counseling (Last 2 months). Man, this is by far the hardest thing I have
> ever had to deal with so far in my life. (I am 45) I am going to give AA
> a try, and see if that works for me. I am single, and have no one I want
> to burden with this. I do have some close friends, but most are non
> drinkers, who would just not understand.
>
> The emotional element to alcoholism is huge, much bigger than even
> perhaps the physical one. I am established in both career and financial
> situations, I have worked very hard to get to this point in my life, but
> am scared I might be heading off the proverbial cliff. To blow my life
> away because of booze is a frightening thought. To admit this to myself
> has been, the most terrifying thing. This coming from a guy that has
> cheated death so many ways, Illness, Surgery, Car Accidents, Skull
> Fracture, and even Skydiving (Twice)!
>
> I feel like such a sap, unloading on a very public forum like this, but,
> I really do not have any other outlet at this time. No other mind
> bending substances I have ever done have had nearly the impact of
> Alcohol. I guess "Everyone has his Poison" and alcohol has been mine.
>
> I have read some of the heartfelt posts on this group, and the feelings
> are genuine, and mirror my situation. It is just a shame it takes so
> long to clue into what is going on.
>
> Bill.