I am new to the concept of "Recovery" and Addiction. I have been a heavy
drinker for the last 25 years, and have finally sought professional
counseling (Last 2 months). Man, this is by far the hardest thing I have
ever had to deal with so far in my life. (I am 45) I am going to give AA
a try, and see if that works for me. I am single, and have no one I want
to burden with this. I do have some close friends, but most are non
drinkers, who would just not understand.

The emotional element to alcoholism is huge, much bigger than even
perhaps the physical one. I am established in both career and financial
situations, I have worked very hard to get to this point in my life, but
am scared I might be heading off the proverbial cliff. To blow my life
away because of booze is a frightening thought. To admit this to myself
has been, the most terrifying thing. This coming from a guy that has
cheated death so many ways, Illness, Surgery, Car Accidents, Skull
Fracture, and even Skydiving (Twice)!

I feel like such a sap, unloading on a very public forum like this, but,
I really do not have any other outlet at this time. No other mind
bending substances I have ever done have had nearly the impact of
Alcohol. I guess "Everyone has his Poison" and alcohol has been mine.

I have read some of the heartfelt posts on this group, and the feelings
are genuine, and mirror my situation. It is just a shame it takes so
long to clue into what is going on.

Bill.