I wrote not too long ago about wanting to take a drink and being scared
about it, then the next day I wasn't feeling scared. Well, I should
reiterate that I will always be scared about taking that next drink.
It's something I don't want to do but there's always something flashing
in the back of my mind telling me there would be NO HARM AND NO FOUL in
taking one more drink.

I guess being an alcoholic and admitting to a problem is expressing that
we're powerless to alcohol and we will always have cravings and desires
to take "YET ANOTHER DRINK" even when the will to not drink overpowers
the will to submit and drink. That's what's scary. I guess I'll always
be scared in that sense.

My goal for this year is to keep from drinking. My goal for the first
year of sobriety was to stop drinking and I proved to myself that one
year is possible. After one year, I feel I need help to keep up the
momentum and to stay away from anything alcoholic and to change my
lifestyle. If I can last 2 years, I can last 5, if I can last 5, I can
last 10, if I can last 10, I can live my life.

Happy and healthy life to everyone.

Monty