I attended my first meeting in two months today and it was such a weight
off my shoulder. I even got a chance to speak a little on what stresses
I have been dealing with over the last two months.

I guess one of the things that caught me for a loop not too long ago was
being in the hospital and receiving pain medication. I had suffered from
a slice wound on my thumb and had to get hand surgery and in turn I was
prescribed percocet for the pain.

Several things happened to me during which time I was taking this
medication. First of all, I relapsed into an euphoric state of mind
which is the same state of mind you get from drinking alcohol. I felt
everything would be alright after I take what was prescribed to me.
Yet, I wasn't taking what was prescribed to me. I was doubling up my
dosage because I was feeling good and I wanted to keep the buzz going.

This caused me to have mood swings and my stresses that I had dealt with
for the last year of sobriety seemed to come back to me all at once and
it freaked me out. I had emotional turmoil as well as thoughts of
suicide. But I don't want to die, my thoughts were more along the line
of such freaky thinking as what it would be like to be dead. I know damn
well that this is not a good way to think and there should be someone to
talk to about such a thing.

I still believe I'm feeling after effects of this medicine. I shouldn't
take it anymore and if I do have to go to see a doctor and he wants to
prescribe pain medicine, I will tell him that I have bad reactions to
percocet. Mentally and physically! I'm also not only making a vow to
keep away from alcohol but to also keep any chemical from entering my
body! Except for the occasional cup of joe that they serve at these
meetings.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to another year of sobriety and I want to
wish happy health and well being to all. Happy Holidays as well.

Regards,
Monty