Heavy Drinker wrote:

> I'm trying to kick alcohol without detox. Mostly because I
> can't take time off of work. Obviously, if my life is in danger,
> I have to suck it up. This is the last step before that one,
> though.

Detox on average takes three to five days. We just went through a
three day weekend. I assume you were busy working the whole time.

> I drink 12+ beers a night. This has gone on over a year
> - and when I've tried to go cold turkey I have pretty
> frightening symptoms. It's likely that the symptoms
> themselves (anxiety attacks, shakes, confusion) make
> the experience more frightening than it really is.

Are you claiming you drink only at night? Then don't you ever have
withdrawal symptoms during the day? Do they affect your work? Do
you think the boss notices?

I'm going to skip your next questions since you say: "I've googled
AWS endlessly...." If that is true, you've gotten more and probably
better anwers than you'll get here. You're just not ready to do
what needs to be done.

I will, however, comment on:

> Tonight I called Hazelden, and they told me I'll die if I don't
> check in.

That may be what you heard, but, as a Hazelden alumnus, I doubt that
is what the person you talked to actually said. He or she was
probably passing on the Twelve Step wisdom that, no matter what
anyone else says or does, an alcoholic continues to drink until he
hits his personal bottom -- even if that bottom is six feet under.

Withdrawal can be scary and uncomfortable, but it is only very
occasionally fatal -- while continued excessive drinking, though it
may take years, always is. You're on a one way elevator going down.
Only you can decide this is as low as I go! I'm getting off and I
don't care what it costs or what I have to do! And only that
decision can start you on the stairs up. The sooner you make it,
the easier it is to climb out of the hole you've dug.

Good luck.