"Bryan" <bekberg@charter.net> wrote in message
news:YZtQe.15802$ih4.3785@fe02.lga...
> Montgomery BOO...URNS wrote:
>> Hello people:
>>
>> Over the course of this weekend, I went through a lot of soul searching.
>> I'm a person who wouldn't consider himself an alcoholic, but then again
>> most alcoholics don't consider to be one either. I have had problems in
>> the past due to alcoholism and they included getting caught up in the law
>> (specifically DUI). I drink a lot, but I usually don't drink during the
>> week just because I like to keep a level head through the week when I'm
>> working my day job.
>>
>> It's only tonight that I have been scaring myself just because in the
>> last year I have been working towards bettering my livelihood. I want to
>> make something of myself and I want to succeed at running my own
>> business. I don't want to be working for someone else for the rest of my
>> life, and more than that I feel that the pathway to this success could be
>> crushed in an instant if I keep drinking.
>>
>> I have tried to stop several times in the last two years. I would go for
>> a couple of weeks and then start again. Normally I don't drink during
>> the week but I have found myself drinking once here and there and now I
>> feel in order to focus on my goals in life, I should keep it out of my
>> life completely.
>>
>> I need help, and I need support. I am considering AA, but I'm also
>> turning to the internet so that I might find people who feel the same way
>> I do, maybe some people who could put my mind at ease and keep me from
>> scaring myself.
>>
>> There's different reasons why I'm scared. One is that I feel that
>> something is going to happen to me again where I could end up getting
>> caught up in the law, get charged with DUI, and I end up without a
>> license, without a car, what's worse is I could end up hurting someone or
>> even (the scariest of all) killing someone. What happens if I don't have
>> a car? I'm out of an aspect that will help me focus on my goals. I've
>> been down this road before, and if I go down it again... I'm without a
>> car for 5 years. I can't afford that! Now, maybe that sounds a little
>> selfish but if I keep drinking what's next? My house? My job? My
>> dreams? My livelihood?
>>
>> The other reason I'm scared might have to do with what friends and even
>> family might think of me. I feel that I don't want to announce to anyone
>> that I want to quit drinking or that I have quit drinking because from
>> when I've tried to quit in the past I get everyone concerned about if
>> I've done something wrong or if I'm in trouble (these concerns usually
>> extend from my family) or my friends (who some are not friends anymore)
>> saying that I've made the wrong decision. Everyone in my family drinks
>> and I believe this has a lot to do with why I slip back into drinking
>> after I quit for a while.
>>
>> Another serious reason for me being scared is that I have slowly
>> contracted several health problems in that last several years.
>> Everything from asthma, to stomach and digestion problems, muscle
>> stiffness, cramps, and even heart problems. All of which I have been to
>> the doctor to get medicine for these ailments but I feel I could do much
>> better tending to my health if I stop drinking all together.
>>
>> I want to know that I'm taking the right path and I feel that I would be.
>> I just know it's going to be hard, not only emotionally but socially as
>> well. I'll lose some drinking buddies but then again I could end up being
>> the friendly neighborhood designated driver for those who feel they're
>> incapable of driving themselves home. There's many pros as well as cons
>> for my decision and I know that it's going to be a hard decision but I
>> want to chase my dreams and I feel that drinking and alcohol is just
>> going to get in my way.
>>
>> I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to feel alive and I feel by
>> posting this message, I'm taking the first step towards a better life. I
>> would hope to get some positive feedback upon posting this message.
>>
>> Thanks and may everyone's dreams come true.
>>
>> DC
> whether you are alcoholic or not, i highly suggest going to a real life AA
> meeting. Go to a few see how they go. I think of myself as alcoholic in
> that i have gotten dui trouble and other troubles, and for the most part i
> only was a weekend drinker. For each their own you have to make that
> decision yourself. I highly suggest going to a real life meeting. It
> really helps. I am only 2 weeks in my sobriety and that's about the best
> advice i can give, and listen to what others got to say, whether it's here
> or in a meeting. Good luck to you.. Plus meetings will give you tools to
> stay sober, just my opinion, and alot of others opinions.
>
> Bryan

Thanks. The advice is very much appreciated. I know that this is a first
step for me and I feel better already. The biggest part of this decision is
that I'm scared. Fear is not knowing and I don't know how I'll feel after
keeping myself sober for months even years on down the road. I don't know
how I'll feel because I haven't gone that long without a drink. I don't
know how my family will react, I don't know how my friends will react, but
most of all I don't know what will happen to me if I KEEP ON DRINKING. I
could get arrested, thrown in jail, total my car, lose my license, lose my
livelihood, or the worst of it - lose my life. Then again, nothing could
happen! But there's an 80% chance in a lifelong time frame that something
will if I keep on drinking. I feel that I want to enjoy my life while I
live it and doing so means remembering most of my life and not pacing myself
through an alcoholic haze!

I will consider going to an AA meeting.

Thanks again and may all your dreams come true. Especially the good dreams.

DC