Darren <darren@notathome.net> wrote in message
news:coqre.9079$q46.3288@newsfe1-win.ntli.net...
> At tonights meeting and on many meetings in the past, members stated
> something on the lines that step 9 isn't about quelling your concience but
> making the other person feel better. I don't understand. What has that to
do
> with sobriety? also one member felt bad because he felt good about a
person
> forgiving him... WHAT? If the person who is making amends feels good as
well
> as the person he/she is making amends too then where's the harm? surely if
> you're feeling good and because you are feeling good then thats a good
> thing, yes?
>
> Darren

I think there are as many interpretations of the purpose of the steps as
there are members. My take on it is along the lines as yours. What's the
general idea? To stay sober, right? So, my way if viewing step nine is to
clean my side of the street so my conscience doesn't bother me.
But, having said that, AA is also a spiritual way of living which means, in
part to me anyhow, to be rid of the bondage of self. Thus, amending the
wrong done to someone else is viewed in that sense as a very unselfish act.
You have to give it up to receive it. Kindof a funny paradox, but it works.
No harm in feeling good about being forgiven IMO, but one can't dwell on
feeling bad when we are not forgiven either. Fix the problem to the best of
one's ability then move on.