I'm a 30 yr old man clean for 98 days. My drug of choice was coke, with a
screw driver chaser to clean my throat after every line, I started using in
college 12 years ago and was a daily user for 6 years. I spent 30 days in a
controlled detox, while there I was forced to attend 12 step meetings. I see
an addiction therapist weekly, who tells me in every session that I am only
buying time, and can never maintain my sobriety with out a program. I have
made several attempts to find a meeting that's right for me, but haven't. I
am also an agnostic, and have deep issues with the theocratic structure of
AA. I am a high-bottom addict I'm told, in that I have never lost every
thing and been forced to live in the gutter and sale my ass for a bottle of
Absolute. That's part of my issue with the program as well, its designed for
people that have hit bottom and can go no lower, a jail house conversion if
you will. While I did reached that point, that is, I became so disgusted
with the unmanageable downward spiral my life was taking, I still managed to
keep it together. Never lost my job, house, family, friends, and they have
all supported me through my recovery.

So my question is, are there people out there that have managed to stay
clean and sober with out the program? Is my desire to stay sober and live to
see 40 enough to sustain me? I think it is, I mean, I had the wherewithal to
admit myself, and dry out, and have maintained for 68 days since I got out!

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks - Chris