Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004!

It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found
out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with
a disease.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said
it causes cancer.

I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to
walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to
dial a stupid number and then I get a high phone bill with calls to Uganda,
Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

I stopped eating chicken Mc Nuggets because you told me they are nothing
more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, beaks or feathers that are
bred in labs so that places like McDonalds can get rich

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that someone
will drug me, take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of
ice, with lipstick on the mirror telling me to call 911.

However, the police are also after me at present because you said not to
pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated
in their special e-mail program and forwarded messages to all my friends.

It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither
did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.


But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to
follow and I got a curse.

OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT, IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at
least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will crap on you tonight
at 7:00 PM.


So here's to an even better informed 2005